How do you handle the death of your best friend?
He’s not really dead, he just stopped talking for reasons only known to him.
My best friend in the whole world, someone I grew up with and was like my brother decided I wasn’t his friend anymore. At first I thought it was a cruel joke, but now I believe my best friendship is dead.
It all started back when we were in grade school. We got along great, and had some fun times. Time and space went by and we didn’t see each other until 11th grade of High School. Well, the friendship hadn’t died at all and we paved new roads and made up what we didn’t know. We shared good times and bad times and roomed together while we tried to earn a days wage.
Then I left for Oklahoma City for a couple of years as he married out of high school and had kids. Our separate ways, as far a part as they were always seemed to realign and we would end back up together like family always does.
Even though I had two brothers at the time, and now only have one due to the premature death of my baby brother, my friend was always more of a brother than either one of my blood. We were aligned on the same track, two different trains with different thoughts, but always complemented each others strengths and weaknesses.
Later in life, in our mid twenties, he divorced and I supported him for several years while he regained his independence and life. I paid twice for everything I would normally do to make sure he was included and did it out of love for my best friend. He went off to another state for a year or so and when he came back, I supported him again, like family since he was my brother in heart, and again, paid the toll to make sure he had the chances he needed to survive and make his way.
After I got married we were still friends, but we had our own lives and lived them. We were still in touch but not like the good old day when fun was the only thing on the menu.
I’m thinking that at one point the adult gene took over and my best friend decided he didn’t like my religious beliefs and for three years stopped talking to me. One day he called and it was like nothing ever happened and we were best friends again. I cherish those days.
More years went by and our lives slowly separated again, inch by inch, still keeping in touch, infrequent visits, but still we both could relate to each other in depth and heart, knowing how each other thought and felt. The phone calls were always a fun time, mostly laughter and craziness and we were still best friends.
Then his mother died. He called me that morning to tell me and I asked him to call when he had some time so we could talk. He never called be back after that point and to this day I always wondered why. I had called his mom several times before she passed, perhaps once a year, sometimes two years passed, and always reminding her who I was, but I don’t think she really remembered me, but was always happy to hear my voice.
They had a celebration of life in her home town and I had planned to go and maybe see him and some of the people I’ve known for many years, but my job prevented me from getting away, so the day came and passed and I still hadn’t heard from my best friend in the world. My brother in life seemed to have left me out of one of his hardest times he had gone though. I thought he needed some space so I gave him a few months to recover from our loss.
After a bit, I emailed him but got no reply. I emailed his lady, but still no reply. I called but none were returned. I felt a deep pain and wasn’t sure how to remedy it. My best friend in the world seemed to vanish.
I sent several more emails, a phone call here and there thinking it was all a mistake, but still, nothing. So I let time go by thinking it was something out of my control, but still feeling empty from not being able to talk to my best friend.
My last effort was a night or two ago. I read one of his stories online and complemented him on it as he does have a way with words. Now my compliment is gone and he turned off my ability to comment.
What does one do at the loss of a loved one that is still living, when all you ever did was show them kindness, friendship and love? When my little brother died I never thought I could endure losing another, but as fate has it I’ve lost another and have no idea why. At least I knew why my younger brother died, but I have no idea why I’ve lost another. At first I felt anger, then remorse, but most of all, confusion.
So how does one handle the death of their best friend when they are still alive? I don’t know where to begin.
My best friend in the whole world, someone I grew up with and was like my brother decided I wasn’t his friend anymore. At first I thought it was a cruel joke, but now I believe my best friendship is dead.
It all started back when we were in grade school. We got along great, and had some fun times. Time and space went by and we didn’t see each other until 11th grade of High School. Well, the friendship hadn’t died at all and we paved new roads and made up what we didn’t know. We shared good times and bad times and roomed together while we tried to earn a days wage.
Then I left for Oklahoma City for a couple of years as he married out of high school and had kids. Our separate ways, as far a part as they were always seemed to realign and we would end back up together like family always does.
Even though I had two brothers at the time, and now only have one due to the premature death of my baby brother, my friend was always more of a brother than either one of my blood. We were aligned on the same track, two different trains with different thoughts, but always complemented each others strengths and weaknesses.
Later in life, in our mid twenties, he divorced and I supported him for several years while he regained his independence and life. I paid twice for everything I would normally do to make sure he was included and did it out of love for my best friend. He went off to another state for a year or so and when he came back, I supported him again, like family since he was my brother in heart, and again, paid the toll to make sure he had the chances he needed to survive and make his way.
After I got married we were still friends, but we had our own lives and lived them. We were still in touch but not like the good old day when fun was the only thing on the menu.
I’m thinking that at one point the adult gene took over and my best friend decided he didn’t like my religious beliefs and for three years stopped talking to me. One day he called and it was like nothing ever happened and we were best friends again. I cherish those days.
More years went by and our lives slowly separated again, inch by inch, still keeping in touch, infrequent visits, but still we both could relate to each other in depth and heart, knowing how each other thought and felt. The phone calls were always a fun time, mostly laughter and craziness and we were still best friends.
Then his mother died. He called me that morning to tell me and I asked him to call when he had some time so we could talk. He never called be back after that point and to this day I always wondered why. I had called his mom several times before she passed, perhaps once a year, sometimes two years passed, and always reminding her who I was, but I don’t think she really remembered me, but was always happy to hear my voice.
They had a celebration of life in her home town and I had planned to go and maybe see him and some of the people I’ve known for many years, but my job prevented me from getting away, so the day came and passed and I still hadn’t heard from my best friend in the world. My brother in life seemed to have left me out of one of his hardest times he had gone though. I thought he needed some space so I gave him a few months to recover from our loss.
After a bit, I emailed him but got no reply. I emailed his lady, but still no reply. I called but none were returned. I felt a deep pain and wasn’t sure how to remedy it. My best friend in the world seemed to vanish.
I sent several more emails, a phone call here and there thinking it was all a mistake, but still, nothing. So I let time go by thinking it was something out of my control, but still feeling empty from not being able to talk to my best friend.
My last effort was a night or two ago. I read one of his stories online and complemented him on it as he does have a way with words. Now my compliment is gone and he turned off my ability to comment.
What does one do at the loss of a loved one that is still living, when all you ever did was show them kindness, friendship and love? When my little brother died I never thought I could endure losing another, but as fate has it I’ve lost another and have no idea why. At least I knew why my younger brother died, but I have no idea why I’ve lost another. At first I felt anger, then remorse, but most of all, confusion.
So how does one handle the death of their best friend when they are still alive? I don’t know where to begin.