Oh so exciting, to be perhaps the biggest letdown of my life.
Jeff's dad is moving, so Jeff is gonna live in a trailer but his house is free and I want it. 900$ a month, a house, a house big enough for me, Jeff, mom, and Alex. :( It seems like it could work, it would be so perfect, I can't remeber what it was like to live in a house. It's big, nice view of the water but I don't care, I want a place to be able to...just be, I want Alex to be with me, I can't take any more of this. Alex's phone bill was 300$ last month. :( He went over his minutes and got charged a bunch because someone was roaming when they called him! He got charged for someone else fucking roaming! T_T I wanted to be with him for Thanksgiving, and my schedule would have been perfect to do that. Perfect. :( I don't work Thursday and Friday we get off because of Thanksgiving and I don't work Saturday and have Monday and Tuesday off, all I had to do was get someone to work one stinking day for me and I would have had a whole week to spend with him. But not anymore... And I know that if I get excited about this house thing, it'll let me down, my mom will let me down, she likes to let me down... but it's hard not to get excited you know? Really hard, and it's like my heart is breaking even before I've been let down because I try and stop myself from getting excited by reminding myself that it's not for sure, not even by a long shot... and I have to do it a lot, and it just makes me want to cry. :\ A lot.