ok here's the deal
because i will admit to being a total bitch.
i was a complete pushover in high school, and around senior year i realized how much that sucked, so i stopped. and i lost friends over it, but no one worthwhile, because honestly, a true friend doesn't treat you like nor expect you to behave like a fucking doormat. and that's that.
i do not fuck around. i do not tolerate deceit. you lie to me or deliberately mislead/deceive me once, and you're lucky to get a second chance. you will never get a third, at least not without the passage of several years and a great deal of making up for it. so am i being a horrible bitch right now? perhaps. but i don't fucking care. b/c i will not take that kind of shit from anyone, let alone someone i am supposed to be able to trust.
i have done and will continue to do everything i can for my friends, and that should be clear. it takes a LOT of bullshit to make me turn my back on someone, but once that point comes i do not look back. this does not mean that every little petty fight results in disownment. that's just stupid. but it should be clear to any reasonable person (and i do consider myself a reasonable person) when a fight is petty and when it is serious. some people have trouble making that distinction, and frankly a feel sorry for them but oh well, their problem not mine and i won't waste my time sugar-coating things when i don't have to. if i am wrong, i will own up to it rather than forsake a friendship.
a lot of bullshit drama gets tossed around on forums such as these, and perhaps that's crucial function of them. or maybe bullshit drama will manifest itself in any medium. i don't really care. my point is, if you don't like it, then ignore it, and by "ignore it" i don't mean gossip about it with everyone and their uncle in a condescending manner b/c that only spreads it further and makes you a hypocrite. of course, i happen to be a hypocrite from time to time, so do whatever you like.
i lost my train of thought....
there isn't really any particular reason for this post. nothing happened to provoke it. i just feel sometimes that people get the wrong idea and i like my general stance to be understood. i have been called a "drama queen" which i disagree with but i only see myself from my own perspective so maybe i'm not the best judge. however, i do not think that i stir up shit nor cause scenes without due cause, and then not very often. i am much more comfortable avoiding confrontation and letting things drift off on their own. most of the people who are guilty of my rant about deceit are no longer friend of mine not because of a fight, but because i allowed us to quietly drift apart. no silent treatment or avoidance either, just a nice subtle fade (or, that's how it seemed to me). again, most of those people were not true friends anyways, so it didn't take long to lose contact. although, there are also several people who i do consider to be true friends who i never get to talk to either, so if you're one of those i hope you don't get the wrong idea.
i don't have a lot of really close friends anymore, and that's fine. they say if you can count five then you're lucky, and i can do that so i think i'm doing just fine. i would rather have things this way, having few friends but knowing a can rely on them, than the way things were in high school where i had a lot of friends but they were quick to turn on me.
i value honesty over everything. anyone who knows me knows that. if you cannot be honest, then you are no friend of mine.
and i guess that's all i really had to say in this rant. i might post later tonight with something a bit more chipper. we shall see...
i was a complete pushover in high school, and around senior year i realized how much that sucked, so i stopped. and i lost friends over it, but no one worthwhile, because honestly, a true friend doesn't treat you like nor expect you to behave like a fucking doormat. and that's that.
i do not fuck around. i do not tolerate deceit. you lie to me or deliberately mislead/deceive me once, and you're lucky to get a second chance. you will never get a third, at least not without the passage of several years and a great deal of making up for it. so am i being a horrible bitch right now? perhaps. but i don't fucking care. b/c i will not take that kind of shit from anyone, let alone someone i am supposed to be able to trust.
i have done and will continue to do everything i can for my friends, and that should be clear. it takes a LOT of bullshit to make me turn my back on someone, but once that point comes i do not look back. this does not mean that every little petty fight results in disownment. that's just stupid. but it should be clear to any reasonable person (and i do consider myself a reasonable person) when a fight is petty and when it is serious. some people have trouble making that distinction, and frankly a feel sorry for them but oh well, their problem not mine and i won't waste my time sugar-coating things when i don't have to. if i am wrong, i will own up to it rather than forsake a friendship.
a lot of bullshit drama gets tossed around on forums such as these, and perhaps that's crucial function of them. or maybe bullshit drama will manifest itself in any medium. i don't really care. my point is, if you don't like it, then ignore it, and by "ignore it" i don't mean gossip about it with everyone and their uncle in a condescending manner b/c that only spreads it further and makes you a hypocrite. of course, i happen to be a hypocrite from time to time, so do whatever you like.
i lost my train of thought....
there isn't really any particular reason for this post. nothing happened to provoke it. i just feel sometimes that people get the wrong idea and i like my general stance to be understood. i have been called a "drama queen" which i disagree with but i only see myself from my own perspective so maybe i'm not the best judge. however, i do not think that i stir up shit nor cause scenes without due cause, and then not very often. i am much more comfortable avoiding confrontation and letting things drift off on their own. most of the people who are guilty of my rant about deceit are no longer friend of mine not because of a fight, but because i allowed us to quietly drift apart. no silent treatment or avoidance either, just a nice subtle fade (or, that's how it seemed to me). again, most of those people were not true friends anyways, so it didn't take long to lose contact. although, there are also several people who i do consider to be true friends who i never get to talk to either, so if you're one of those i hope you don't get the wrong idea.
i don't have a lot of really close friends anymore, and that's fine. they say if you can count five then you're lucky, and i can do that so i think i'm doing just fine. i would rather have things this way, having few friends but knowing a can rely on them, than the way things were in high school where i had a lot of friends but they were quick to turn on me.
i value honesty over everything. anyone who knows me knows that. if you cannot be honest, then you are no friend of mine.
and i guess that's all i really had to say in this rant. i might post later tonight with something a bit more chipper. we shall see...