(no subject)
So enough time has passed now for me to talk about last weekend. I went home to relax and see my Nana. I was really nervous about going home...but I really just wanted to be away from Boston for a while. I went to leave on Friday, but God must have had something else in store for me because I was completely unable to leave Boston. The people were so rude, shoving me out of the way to get on the T...cutting in line...
I got so frustrated when I finally got to the station and no one would let me get a ticket for a bus that leaves in 10 minutes even though their buses didn't leave for like and hour to 2 hours later. Ugh. I just started crying in the bus station. I felt invisible though. It's not like people notice you in a city, it was really the most alone i've ever felt surrounded by hundreds of people. I walked out of the station hoping for a down pour so my tears wouldn't be so out of place...but of course it was bright and sunny. I hopped in a taxi and Chris called me. I couldn't even talk cause I was so mad at myself for missing the bus. I was convinced that I wasn't going to be able to go home and see my Nana...and that something horrible would happen. My phone kept cutting out as we went through tunnels...so I hung up. I ended up back at my empty apartment and just sobbed. It felt good to finally get it all out. It's been building up for months.
Chris called me back and we talked for a bit. He said he was sorry he couldn't come home...it's ok though. He did more for me the entire weekend than anyone else did combined. So I really can't be mad at all. He went above and beyond any expectations or necessities. It's good to have someone like that around. I really do owe him a lot for what he's done for me. It would've been nice to see him, but I'll settle for just talking. I always feel a thousand times better after a conversation with him.
I did end up going home Saturday morning. My brother picked me up and we talked for a while on the way back. I found out some really shitty stuff about my family that I wish I hadn't heard. No one wants to hear how their father is a dick. It was shocking. I really just sat in shock for the longest time after I heard it. It's amazing when your parents become more flawed, more human and less heroic as you grow up. i didn't go out saturday night. It started to pour at night and I just needed to get outside in it. I went for 2 runs that night. There's nothing I love more than my home town at night in the middle of a down pour. I have so many good memories of those kind of nights...it's my instant escape from everything...
Sunday night I went to Jim's and saw some people. I was dying inside from what I saw earlier in the day, but it was nice to be able to slap on a smile and see friends. I ended up talking with Stacy and Jim 'til 5:15AM. One of those random moments where time just seems to stand still and slow down to let you catch up. It was a nice breather.
And now? back in boston, in full stress mode. When's Thanksgiving????
I got so frustrated when I finally got to the station and no one would let me get a ticket for a bus that leaves in 10 minutes even though their buses didn't leave for like and hour to 2 hours later. Ugh. I just started crying in the bus station. I felt invisible though. It's not like people notice you in a city, it was really the most alone i've ever felt surrounded by hundreds of people. I walked out of the station hoping for a down pour so my tears wouldn't be so out of place...but of course it was bright and sunny. I hopped in a taxi and Chris called me. I couldn't even talk cause I was so mad at myself for missing the bus. I was convinced that I wasn't going to be able to go home and see my Nana...and that something horrible would happen. My phone kept cutting out as we went through tunnels...so I hung up. I ended up back at my empty apartment and just sobbed. It felt good to finally get it all out. It's been building up for months.
Chris called me back and we talked for a bit. He said he was sorry he couldn't come home...it's ok though. He did more for me the entire weekend than anyone else did combined. So I really can't be mad at all. He went above and beyond any expectations or necessities. It's good to have someone like that around. I really do owe him a lot for what he's done for me. It would've been nice to see him, but I'll settle for just talking. I always feel a thousand times better after a conversation with him.
I did end up going home Saturday morning. My brother picked me up and we talked for a while on the way back. I found out some really shitty stuff about my family that I wish I hadn't heard. No one wants to hear how their father is a dick. It was shocking. I really just sat in shock for the longest time after I heard it. It's amazing when your parents become more flawed, more human and less heroic as you grow up. i didn't go out saturday night. It started to pour at night and I just needed to get outside in it. I went for 2 runs that night. There's nothing I love more than my home town at night in the middle of a down pour. I have so many good memories of those kind of nights...it's my instant escape from everything...
Sunday night I went to Jim's and saw some people. I was dying inside from what I saw earlier in the day, but it was nice to be able to slap on a smile and see friends. I ended up talking with Stacy and Jim 'til 5:15AM. One of those random moments where time just seems to stand still and slow down to let you catch up. It was a nice breather.
And now? back in boston, in full stress mode. When's Thanksgiving????