(no subject)
imagine you find out your dad has Alzheimer’s and hes going to lose his memeory. wouldnt it just be easier for you to push him away? no of course not...but id reather forget someone before they forgot me. when i found out about my dad i realized ive done it to most of my friends. being forgotten is one of my biggest fears and to know my dad is going to forget who i am scares the shit out of me. so then what if others forget me? god. i know this is fucked up. ive been pushing everyone away by simply being a huge bitch. i realize that and i have tried to explain it to some of them. but apparently to one of them im just a huge fucking burden that should just be forgotten. thanks a lot fucker. people suck more than i could even express. i dont expect anyone to forgive me and everything to be okay but to just not even bother to make an attempt when i have is just low. fuck you.