this one's just about my dad so you really can skip it if you need to, i just needed to bitch
my grandmother has gotten on my last nerve. never in my thirteen years of dealing with this situation, have i ever felt so guilty about my decision to cut my father out of my life. my grandmother is convinced that i am in the wrong, that my father needs my support, that i need to be more virtuous and forgiving.
my grandmother can go fuck herself. and anyone who thinks that i am too harsh on him, too unforgiving, too stubborn, can go fuck theirselves too. they all can fuck off. my grandma hasnt been here since day fucking one, she doesnt know what its like, she doesnt know how much shit he put us through. she just sees how unforgiving i am towards him.
i am done. i have cut myself free of the burden that is my father, which has been hard enough, and im not about to run off and pray and repent and regret it now. i dont. the only thing i regret is not cutting him off sooner. i turned out just fucking fine without any of his fucking help. i dont need him anymore than he needs me, apparently. brandt and i got on just fine without a dad... and if we can get through these years without him i think we can do it just fine the rest of our lives. he can go fuck himself.
i am done being rational, being patient, being passive, with. i am done with people who think i am being unreasonable, or bitchy, or too aggressive, about this situation, family and friends included.if you had been let down by a man for thriteen fucking consecutive years that you loved, you would know. people like my grandmother have no right to tell me how to feel about my own actions or thoughts. i never thought it would be so easy to punish a parent. or how good it doesnt feel to do so.
nobody has been more hurt than my mother. as much as we disagree, as much as i hope to never be like her in a number of ways, i am not stupid. i know she has been the worst off since the day she married him. no one has told her it was going to be okay, except us. she has stuck up for us, though. when it was really really bad, she would stand up for us. But now its time for me to stand up for her. no one else will do it, so it may as well be me. i am done sitting around and waiting for my father to hurt her again.
no im not going to go out and beat the shit out of him. much as i'd like to, i couldnt. he's in the hospital now anyway. but im not kidding when i say this is the last time he ever EVER hurts any of us.
thanks for reading.
my grandmother can go fuck herself. and anyone who thinks that i am too harsh on him, too unforgiving, too stubborn, can go fuck theirselves too. they all can fuck off. my grandma hasnt been here since day fucking one, she doesnt know what its like, she doesnt know how much shit he put us through. she just sees how unforgiving i am towards him.
i am done. i have cut myself free of the burden that is my father, which has been hard enough, and im not about to run off and pray and repent and regret it now. i dont. the only thing i regret is not cutting him off sooner. i turned out just fucking fine without any of his fucking help. i dont need him anymore than he needs me, apparently. brandt and i got on just fine without a dad... and if we can get through these years without him i think we can do it just fine the rest of our lives. he can go fuck himself.
i am done being rational, being patient, being passive, with. i am done with people who think i am being unreasonable, or bitchy, or too aggressive, about this situation, family and friends included.if you had been let down by a man for thriteen fucking consecutive years that you loved, you would know. people like my grandmother have no right to tell me how to feel about my own actions or thoughts. i never thought it would be so easy to punish a parent. or how good it doesnt feel to do so.
nobody has been more hurt than my mother. as much as we disagree, as much as i hope to never be like her in a number of ways, i am not stupid. i know she has been the worst off since the day she married him. no one has told her it was going to be okay, except us. she has stuck up for us, though. when it was really really bad, she would stand up for us. But now its time for me to stand up for her. no one else will do it, so it may as well be me. i am done sitting around and waiting for my father to hurt her again.
no im not going to go out and beat the shit out of him. much as i'd like to, i couldnt. he's in the hospital now anyway. but im not kidding when i say this is the last time he ever EVER hurts any of us.
thanks for reading.