tillin my own grave to keep it level
recently that lyric has been stuck in my head from the song by a perfect circle "weak and powerless"...maybe its how i feel, or how i feel the fuckin world is, its odd that kurt cobain decides that the boiling factor for most drug addicts is the fuck factor...the fuckd up issue in life which leads one to say "fuck it" and to blow off some steam....the suttle break that is indeed needed inorder to maintain sanity only leads to deeper sheit, a deeper hole, a deeper grave
its amazing....how one painful issue or instance will hurt one for an indefinate and infinite time, while happiness from a single event comes and goes in an instance similar to a certain high of a drug....the happiness comes and soothes and takes us away from the real horrors, but afterwards, one is left to relinquish and relish on all he has forsaken in that selfish moment of happiness for self pleasure, then the happiness goes....and the hole of depression just sets deeper and deeper, and infinte cut growing deeper, more wreched, more bitter, more hateful, less human, less significant, less of a person...
any ways.....i wanted to get that off my chest...but i also want to just jot down sum events before i forget them, in a glimpse of a moment....
monday-went wit atif, p unit, varun, and eugene...hella fun went to lake elizabeth and got stranded and harashed the shoebies...then to marsh road, haunted place of hell, effin scary cause i was paranoid we wouldnt be able to get back home in one piece...then to frys, where i found out they had ipods for sale..l337-green mini ipod-my want...guilt....
tuesday-went to first lesson of behind the wheel driving..exhilirating but daymd fun...the white cracker later was really good willed...i shouldnt speak bad of her...
wednesday-a's game with atif, andrew miagi, and the great kai...effin fun as hell it was good...ball park hotdogs best 2 bites u will ever have ur whole life...it was fun with me and kais adventure with the mr quinn medicine man...long storry
thursday- i awoke disgrunteled and a little disturbed of the nites visions, never ever soothing....went to vf helpd mum out with sum tasks....got pissed at a stupid yahud who insulted my integrity as a freakin paki moslim up in da hood of eff mont...went to ipod store and got pissed and the prissy apple dudes....never fails...finally came home -ate first meal of day--waking up at 2 isnt a good habbit...then went to gym with fareed bhai...good stuff...saw hella ppl..including the rauncyfunhouse , and anks, steven, and sum chachi...well it went swell after a hell of a good work out..plus i finishd the kurt cobain journals book..effin extreme!!!
friday- wake, jummah, on the way i learnd taht i had been given the freakin back seat(not literally) to a couple of outsiders who went to celebrate a day of significance for someone who they barely knew, while i sat unaware that i could be celebrating and congradulating that person who is quite dear to me for that special day....but i guess the stars are never alligned rite, as all sheit seems to happen...later it was ubber fun with fati, zoynarb, and amber, and how can i forget-HULK/SHREK...lunch at CHIPOTLE...wow...amazing...effing amazing....its always fun to just chill...then came home....watchd sum olympiacs...drove unpoco , then went wit sameer bhai and ob to c the usual movie...collateral...wow..amazing sheit yaar...these guys care....its sad how ppl not even blood relation can be so much more than the bloody peutrid ppl that seem to kno u but dont really give a bloody daym to get to kno u.....fuck it
ill leave the following for u, to give u a better note to end this post on
musto working at frys
its amazing....how one painful issue or instance will hurt one for an indefinate and infinite time, while happiness from a single event comes and goes in an instance similar to a certain high of a drug....the happiness comes and soothes and takes us away from the real horrors, but afterwards, one is left to relinquish and relish on all he has forsaken in that selfish moment of happiness for self pleasure, then the happiness goes....and the hole of depression just sets deeper and deeper, and infinte cut growing deeper, more wreched, more bitter, more hateful, less human, less significant, less of a person...
any ways.....i wanted to get that off my chest...but i also want to just jot down sum events before i forget them, in a glimpse of a moment....
monday-went wit atif, p unit, varun, and eugene...hella fun went to lake elizabeth and got stranded and harashed the shoebies...then to marsh road, haunted place of hell, effin scary cause i was paranoid we wouldnt be able to get back home in one piece...then to frys, where i found out they had ipods for sale..l337-green mini ipod-my want...guilt....
tuesday-went to first lesson of behind the wheel driving..exhilirating but daymd fun...the white cracker later was really good willed...i shouldnt speak bad of her...
wednesday-a's game with atif, andrew miagi, and the great kai...effin fun as hell it was good...ball park hotdogs best 2 bites u will ever have ur whole life...it was fun with me and kais adventure with the mr quinn medicine man...long storry
thursday- i awoke disgrunteled and a little disturbed of the nites visions, never ever soothing....went to vf helpd mum out with sum tasks....got pissed at a stupid yahud who insulted my integrity as a freakin paki moslim up in da hood of eff mont...went to ipod store and got pissed and the prissy apple dudes....never fails...finally came home -ate first meal of day--waking up at 2 isnt a good habbit...then went to gym with fareed bhai...good stuff...saw hella ppl..including the rauncyfunhouse , and anks, steven, and sum chachi...well it went swell after a hell of a good work out..plus i finishd the kurt cobain journals book..effin extreme!!!
friday- wake, jummah, on the way i learnd taht i had been given the freakin back seat(not literally) to a couple of outsiders who went to celebrate a day of significance for someone who they barely knew, while i sat unaware that i could be celebrating and congradulating that person who is quite dear to me for that special day....but i guess the stars are never alligned rite, as all sheit seems to happen...later it was ubber fun with fati, zoynarb, and amber, and how can i forget-HULK/SHREK...lunch at CHIPOTLE...wow...amazing...effing amazing....its always fun to just chill...then came home....watchd sum olympiacs...drove unpoco , then went wit sameer bhai and ob to c the usual movie...collateral...wow..amazing sheit yaar...these guys care....its sad how ppl not even blood relation can be so much more than the bloody peutrid ppl that seem to kno u but dont really give a bloody daym to get to kno u.....fuck it
ill leave the following for u, to give u a better note to end this post on
musto working at frys