Reunion, Charles/Erik, XMFC
Title: Reunion
Author: penguingal
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Charles/Erik
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: The boys and their powers don't belong to me, much to my sadness
Feedback: Is loved like one of Charles's smiles
A/n: This fic is a sequel to Solitude Interrupted. It's probably best if you've read that first. This fic is also entirely the fault of synecdoche_and, luninosity, and krystalsara, who all asked for a sequel. Many many many thanks to luninosity for being a first reader and cheerleader. Set post-beach, Erik returns to Charles.
Charles doesn’t sleep much any more. He catches a few hours now and then, but that’s mostly out of sheer exhaustion rather than any conscious desire to rest. Instead he wanders the halls, trying not to think about how just a few short weeks ago someone else wandered these same halls.
Making the mansion accessible for him had been startlingly easy. The elevators he needed to get from floor to floor already existed; they just needed to be modernized for frequent use. As a result, Charles found himself in places in the mansion he hadn’t been in for years. Perhaps inevitably though he kept going back to his mother’s study on the top floor.
Tonight, like most nights, he wheeled himself into the center of the room where Erik had stood those few weeks ago. Erik...his Erik. He could still feel Erik’s arms around him as they kissed, holding on to him so tightly. He could feel Erik’s lips against his own, soft and insistent.
But his Erik was gone. He’d gone into a submarine and come out Magneto. His Erik was lost.
Charles held back a sob. If he let his grief overwhelm him now, he’d be entirely useless and there were the children to think about. In fact, Charles was sure the only reason he was functioning at all was entirely due to Hank, Sean, and Alex. Everything else--everyone else--had been taken from him.
A soft rustle of fabric behind him caught his attention and his back stiffened. A quick check confirmed everyone else in the house was asleep, meaning it could only be one other person. Wiping at eyes he hadn’t realized were wet, Charles slowly turned his chair. “Magneto.”
“Charles--” Erik began.
“What do you want?” Charles cut him off. The helmet, he noted, was firmly in place and had even been embellished to be more ridiculous than before. An intense wave of loathing for the stupid thing rolled through him. “Why are you here?”
“I came to see you.”
Charles closed his eyes and opened them again slowly. “Well, you have. Now go.”
“Charles...”
“Please, go, Magneto. I can’t--I can’t look at you.”
Erik frowned. That was the second time Charles had called him that. “It’s still me, Charles. I’m still Erik.”
“No, you’re not. You took Erik from me. The moment you put that helmet on you took him from me,” Charles said, his voice strained.
“Erik loved me. He promised to be mine, completely. Now he’s gone and I--” Shuddering, Charles shook his head. No. He wouldn’t say it. He wouldn’t admit how weak he was. Not to this man. “This is why I pushed him away that first night. This is why I never wanted to start something between us in the first place. Because it could all too easily be taken away.”
Erik fought not to actually stagger against the force of Charles’s words and all the pain and loss in those too bright blue eyes. “Charles... I do love you. I have loved you,” he managed. “Please.”
Charles turned away, unable to look at him any more. “Then prove it. I still love Erik. I’m still his. Always. Go now and don’t come back until you can give my Erik back to me.”
Swallowing hard, Erik forced himself not to reach out and try to touch Charles. He could see the tension in those muscles he’d long admired, and he didn’t think he could bear it if Charles flinched away from him. He sighed and turned to go. “I’m sorry,” he murmured over his shoulder.
Charles waited until he was sure Magneto was gone and sagged in his chair, finally letting the tears slide freely down his cheeks.
….
A week passed. And then another. Charles still didn’t sleep much, though he was putting more of an effort into trying. It wasn’t hard to see the growing concern in the children, but especially on Hank’s blue and furry face as each day Charles dragged himself through the motions. Deep down he felt he should hate that knowing look on Hank’s face, but he reminded himself that Hank had lost someone, too. Hank, more than the other two, knew what it meant to open yourself up to someone and have them walk away from you.
Every day was an effort, but somehow with the children Charles found reserves of patience and stamina he didn’t know he possessed. Even as hurt as he was, he wouldn’t let them suffer for it. He would give them a home and a family, something none of them ever had, including him, despite the outward appearances.
Nights, though, nights were a different story. Charles didn’t wander the halls anymore. Instead, night after night he returned to his mother’s cold and lonely study. The pictures of himself on the walls seemed to stare at him accusingly. They had known this would happen after all; the truth of it was there for him in each picture. Charles had never had the perfect life his money and his upbringing should have promised him. He’d tried for something perfect, something real, with Erik, and now that it was all gone, his former selves did not pity him.
And yet, night after night he came into that room because some part of him, even after everything, some shriveled part of him still hoped that he would be sitting in that room and feel Erik’s familiar presence behind him. That he would turn and see the man he knew and loved.
As each night went on and Charles persistently remained alone, he allowed his thoughts to drift. Some nights he plotted and planned ways to hunt Magneto and his followers down, use his power to force them to turn on Magneto and then get that stupid fucking helmet off him. He wanted to bend them to his will and make them do things his way. Other nights he wondered if there was a way he could simply wipe Erik from his memory, make it so he had never loved him and been loved back. Make it so that for him and for the others there had only ever been Magneto.
Some detached part of him recognized that he was hurt and angry and betrayed and he just wanted to lash out at someone, make them hurt the way that he hurt. That same part of him also recognized that it was all his fault for opening himself up to Erik in the first place. By the time Charles’s self-imposed time limit for staying in his mother’s study rolled around, he was usually able at least to dispel these dark thoughts. He thought about the children and what their needs for the next day would be and he somehow managed to find the strength to keep going.
Most nights after his session in the study, Charles put himself to bed despite the fact that he would often simply lie there for hours, unable to really get comfortable. He used to prefer sprawling across the mattress and taking up far more space than was strictly necessary. He hadn’t yet fully adapted to his new reality and this was just one of the ways it was obvious. Eventually, exhaustion would pull him into sleep until Hank came to wake him in the morning.
But occasionally Charles simply couldn’t bear the cold futility of his bed and he made his way to the kitchen for some tea before going to his own study to work. The last night of the third week since Magneto’s visit was one such night.
Charles wheeled himself into the cavernous kitchen, taking a moment to check in with the house. Everyone was sleeping contentedly, Hank was even dreaming about chasing something happily through a forest, and Charles envied them that. And was glad of it at the same time. The only problem he had currently was that someone had accidentally put the tea away on a shelf high above his reach. Normally the tin was left on the counter for him for just this reason. He was sure it had been done in a moment of inattention, but it was still extremely frustrating. And Charles certainly wasn’t going to wake anyone out of their sleep to fetch it for him.
Dammit, where’s Erik when I really need him?
….
Only a few miles away from Xavier mansion, Erik was in a hotel getting ready for bed. Mystique had urged him not to go on this recruiting run alone, being so close to Westchester, but a pointed glare had been enough to silence her. As a precaution, Erik had agreed to keep the helmet on more than usual. Charles’s range was impressive but it did have limits. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn’t have concerned him.
However, he simply refused to sacrifice his hygiene to the helmet, and so at the end of the day, Erik slipped it off in preparation to take a shower.
Dammit, where’s Erik when I really need him?
That was Charles’s voice in his head.
“I’m here, Charles. … Charles?” Erik concentrated, waiting for something more from him, holding himself open to Charles’s presence.
Long moments passed and there was nothing. No hint of Charles with him. Erik frowned. Without another thought, he grabbed the car keys and sprinted from the room. The helmet was still sitting on the table.
….
Twenty minutes later, Charles was still sifting through the cabinets looking for another tin of tea leaves when the distinctive sound of the front door opening reached him. He frowned, rolling into the hallway and toward the sound without really thinking about it. His frown only deepened when a moment later he realized that it felt like-- “Erik?”
Erik froze. Turning his head, he met Charles’s eyes, eyes that brightened momentarily at the sight of him and then grew dark again in confusion.
“You’re here,” Charles whispered, almost too stunned to speak.
“I--” Now it was Erik’s turn to be confused. Charles seemed fine. There was no sign of intruders or attackers. The metal in the house whispered softly, warily to him, familiar in its way and telling him that there was nothing wrong with the structure. “I heard you. You needed me. You needed my help. I--I thought you were in trouble.”
Charles frowned again and then his mouth dropped open. “Oh, Erik. Oh, I am so sorry.”
“What, Charles?”
He tried to hold it back, but the laughter bubbled helplessly up from inside him. His nose crinkled and he dissolved into what could only legitimately be called giggles.
“Charles, what?” Erik said, becoming exasperated. He was still frozen to the spot where he was standing, not daring to come any closer.
“The tea,” Charles said, tears running down his cheeks now from laughing. Erik shook his head at him, still not understanding. “I wanted to make a cup of tea but someone put the tin away up on a shelf. I thought--just for a moment I thought that if you were here you could help me. I didn’t realize I was projecting that. And now here you are.”
Erik shrugged, lifting his hands helplessly. “And here I am.”
“Here you are,” Charles repeated, full realization hitting him. “Erik--”
Something inside Erik broke and he finally rushed to Charles’s side, dropping to his knees next to his chair and pulling him into his embrace. “Charles.”
“Erik. Erik,” Charles sobbed into his shoulder, gripping him tightly. “How--?”
“I was nearby at a hotel, getting ready to have a shower, when I heard you. Felt you. I didn’t stop to think. I just got in the car and drove,” Erik replied, stroking Charles’s back.
“You took the helmet off to shower,” Charles said flatly.
“But I came for you,” Erik replied. “As soon as I felt you I came for you. Charles...I knew what I was doing.”
Charles pulled back, wiping at his tears and unable to reply. But he didn’t entirely let go of him.
“Can we talk somewhere?” Erik asked. “Please?”
“Of course,” Charles said. He led Erik back toward the kitchen. After thinking about this moment for weeks, Charles was suddenly unsure how to handle it. Somehow he hadn’t expected Erik to look so much like he remembered, right down to the black turtleneck he was wearing. Part of him simply wanted Erik to take him to his room and spend the rest of the night making up for lost time. He stopped in front of the cabinet where the tea had been placed, gesturing up. “If you wouldn’t mind...?”
Smiling softly, Erik gestured at the tin and delivered it into Charles’s lap. He got one of Charles’s smiles in return at that, but it was uncharacteristically sad. Erik put the pot on to boil while Charles fixed the cups, and he tried not to be forcefully reminded of their first kiss. Except this time Charles wouldn’t be lunging across any tables. “Charles, I’m so sorry. I never should have come to you like that, as Magneto. You deserved better from me after everything that’s happened. After what I did to you.”
“Erik--I could have forgiven you for shooting me. I could have even forgiven you for killing Shaw that way. You know I was there, in his head? I felt that coin pass through him. But I could have handled that. I would have found a way. What I couldn’t handle was losing you, too. You walked away from me the moment you put that helmet on. It was like you had died.” Charles was amazed that somehow his voice remained quiet and even, hardly wavering at all.
“The helmet was a mistake,” Erik said. “I never should have put it on, but I couldn’t let you sway me from what I had to do.”
“I would never--”
“No, you wouldn’t have used your power on me. You wouldn’t have had to. Your voice, pleading in my head... I wouldn’t have been able to resist that. And Shaw had to die. For my mother, for me, for all the others he would have done the same thing to.”
Charles reached out and squeezed Erik’s hand, the pain rolling off of him nearly palpable. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize to me, Charles. I have far more to be sorry for.” Erik squeezed Charles’s hand back, pausing only to remove the whistling kettle from the range and pour the water into their cups. “Did you mean it? When you said you still loved me, that you’re still mine?”
“Yes, I meant it,” Charles murmured. “Do you still love me?”
Erik took Charles’s hand again, stroking his thumb softly across the back. “You said it yourself, Charles. We want different things. I believe the humans will never stop being afraid of us, that they will fight us and hunt us, and that sometimes a good offense is needed as much as a good defense. And I think you would do well to believe it a little more.”
Charles opened his mouth to protest but was silenced by a look from Erik.
“And I think I would also do well to believe a little more that the humans will one day accept us, will one day believe we’re not a threat. I think your school could use a little more of my way of seeing things. You need security, protection.”
“What are you saying?” Charles said.
“I’m saying that I told Mystique and the others I was coming near here on a recruiting mission, but it was a lie. I was always coming here to see you, to ask if you would consider letting me help protect you and your students from the humans, if you would let me come back to you. You need me to balance your rampant optimism, and I need you to balance and temper my distrust and cynicism. Your little mental excursion just brought me here earlier than I intended. And yes, I still love you. Of course I do.”
Charles wrapped his hand around Erik’s wrist and pulled, dragging Erik off his stool and into a deep, fervent kiss. “Erik--what about the others? Will they come with you?” he asked, not really letting Erik back up.
Erik stroked his fingers through Charles’s hair. “It might take a little doing, but I think Mystique will come around. She’ll never be the Raven you knew again, but Mystique is a good woman to have on your side. Where she and I go, at least some of the others are bound to follow. But I can’t make any guarantees. Frost is a formidable woman and she could decide to lead them on her own.”
“Whoever wants to join us is welcome,” Charles said. “I’ll need instructors of all kinds once I get the school up and running. I’m--a little behind. I was barely holding it together three weeks ago. If I’m honest, I’m not doing much better now. The only thing keeping me going is the children. But now you’re here.”
“So that’s a yes, then? You want me back with you?”
“Erik, if you think I am ever letting you go again, then you are out of your mind,” Charles said, beaming at him.
It was so good to see Charles’s old smile that there was no way Erik could resist kissing him again. He wrapped his hands around Charles’s shoulders, pulling him as close as possible. Charles’s shoulders were thinner than he remembered, which probably meant that Charles wasn’t eating. The fact that he was looking for tea this time of night meant he probably also wasn’t sleeping. “Let me take care of you,” he murmured against Charles’s lips.
“Yes. I’m yours. Always,” Charles replied.
Erik dumped the tea and cups in the sink and followed Charles from the kitchen. “Can I...?” he asked, putting his hands on Charles’s chair. The metal in it responded to him instantly, seeming to welcome his touch on Charles’s behalf. Erik knew he could easily move the chair without his hands, but for now, he needed badly to touch, to understand it as a part of Charles now.
“Of course,” Charles said, taking his hands from the wheels. “I moved my bedroom down to the first floor, the end of the hall in the west wing. It seemed... prudent now.”
Choosing not to reply, Erik simply reached out to squeeze Charles’s shoulder. The room itself didn’t look much different from the room Erik remembered upstairs. The furniture was similar, but then most of the house was furnished in the same style. The color of the walls was different. The bed though was the same, still covered in plush pillows and blankets. He’d always thought of it more like a nest than a bed, precisely. The only difference was that the bed was now lower to the ground, the surface aligned with the height of Charles’s chair. Erik shut the door behind them and locked it with a thought.
Charles took over the chair, wheeling over to the bed and then transferring to the surface. He couldn’t quite meet Erik’s eyes as he started to bend down to try to remove his shoes.
“Stop. Let me,” Erik said, kneeling in front of him. He unlaced Charles’s shoes and slipped them from his feet and followed it with his socks. Kneeling up, he slowly pulled Charles’s cardigan open, and then his dress shirt, pressing kisses to Charles’s throat and chest as it was exposed.
“Erik--” Charles murmured, running his hand through Erik’s hair.
Erik looked up at him and smiled. “So beautiful. You’ve always been so beautiful to me. You still are. I love you.”
“I love you,” Charles said.
A familiar brush against his mind made Erik smile and he leaned up to capture Charles’s mouth. I want you here with me, too. Please.
Erik, I need you. It feels like forever since you touched me last.
“I’m here,” Erik murmured against his lips. And I’m not going anywhere.
Is that a promise?
Erik started working Charles’s pants open and down over his hips. It’s a promise. I’ll never leave you again.
Charles tugged him up again, kissing him deeply to seal his promise. “Need you.”
Working together, they finished stripping Charles of his clothes and Erik laid him out against the plush mattress. He took a long look at Charles’s naked form, licking his lips at the sight of him. “So beautiful.”
Ducking his head, Charles blushed and then looked pointedly at Erik. “Your turn.”
Smiling, wide and joyful, Erik stripped his turtleneck and pants in record time, barely restraining himself from pouncing on Charles the minute he was also naked. He crawled over Charles, caressing the available skin as he kissed a pathway up to his lips.
Charles squirmed and reached for Erik, wishing he could wrap his legs around him. But it was enough to see Erik, his Erik, spreading them and settling himself between them as they kissed endlessly. It felt so good to have Erik’s hands on his skin, stroking, petting, exploring, reacquainting himself with Charles’s body. Erik’s mouth explored wherever his hands weren’t, and when Erik pulled a nipple between his teeth while a hand wrapped around his cock, Charles couldn’t hold back a cry. “Yes, Erik!”
Erik stroked and suckled, enjoying the feel of Charles writhing beneath him. Images and sensations from previous couplings cycled through his mind, Charles’s control in shreds.
Please! Erik! Charles arched against him as much as he could, hands tightening on Erik’s shoulders.
“I’ve got you,” Erik murmured. “I’m here.” One thing that hadn’t changed at all was the small metal pot where Charles kept the lubricant. It was sitting nestled in the nightstand, and Erik pulled it out for them. He slicked his fingers and gently worked them into Charles. If he wondered how much of this Charles could feel, his question was swiftly answered by the sharp gasp and long moan from Charles as he nudged his prostate.
“Erik...” Charles panted. “That’s amazing.”
Kissing him again, Erik finished preparing him. It took a moment to try to figure out how to help Charles with the best angle, but once they had it, Erik was able to slide deep inside him. The feel of Charles surrounding him once again was heady and perfect, and Erik moaned his pleasure. He kept his pace steady, focusing on Charles and looking for any sign of pain or discomfort.
Not going to break, Charles panted in his mind. Fuck me.
Biting his lip, Erik upped his pace, finding that familiar pulse of arousal in Charles’s mind. It grew brighter as Charles got closer and closer to tipping over the edge, and it generally meant that they would go over together as Charles’s pleasure was transmitted back to and through him on a loop. Just as the brightness seemed ready to overwhelm them, Erik murmured, “Come for me.”
Charles cried out and the sound echoed in Erik’s mind as pleasure and release swamped them both. He was dimly aware of Charles’s body twisting under him as Erik emptied himself deep inside Charles. Their minds were as entangled as their bodies, and it took Erik several moments to sort out where he ended and where Charles began.
“That was perfect,” Charles murmured as their breathing slowed and they started to come back to themselves. He kissed Erik’s jaw and cheeks and temple soothingly. “You’re perfect.”
“Hardly perfect,” Erik replied, kissing Charles. He eased out of Charles’s body and stretched out next to him. “But I’m willing to try.”
Charles stroked his hair and ran a thumb over his lips. “You’re perfect to me. And I love you.”
“I love you,” Erik replied. “Will the others be okay, finding me here in the morning?”
“You’re staying the night?” Charles asked, not able to hide his surprise. “I just thought you’d need to go back to the hotel for your things. You’ll have to go back to Mystique and explain things to her.”
“I promised I would never leave you again and I meant it,” Erik said, smiling. “I think we should go talk to Mystique together. We can pick up my things along the way. For now, I want nothing more than to hold you tonight and for maybe a long part of tomorrow.”
“I like that,” Charles said. “And I think the others will be okay. Hank will be upset. He misses Raven--Mystique--very much. But they’ll come around. It’ll just take some time for everyone to adapt. As long as we’re together, though, I think we can handle anything that comes our way.”
Things weren’t perfect. There was still a lot of pain and hurt and real, deep differences between them. But tomorrow, Erik would take Charles back to his hotel and together they would destroy the helmet that had separated them. It was a start.
For the moment, Erik was warm and certain he was where he was meant to be. Erik tipped Charles’s face up to him, smiling into warm blue eyes as he kissed him deeply once more. The metal in the house murmured to him, content, as it settled around them.
Author: penguingal
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Charles/Erik
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: The boys and their powers don't belong to me, much to my sadness
Feedback: Is loved like one of Charles's smiles
A/n: This fic is a sequel to Solitude Interrupted. It's probably best if you've read that first. This fic is also entirely the fault of synecdoche_and, luninosity, and krystalsara, who all asked for a sequel. Many many many thanks to luninosity for being a first reader and cheerleader. Set post-beach, Erik returns to Charles.
Charles doesn’t sleep much any more. He catches a few hours now and then, but that’s mostly out of sheer exhaustion rather than any conscious desire to rest. Instead he wanders the halls, trying not to think about how just a few short weeks ago someone else wandered these same halls.
Making the mansion accessible for him had been startlingly easy. The elevators he needed to get from floor to floor already existed; they just needed to be modernized for frequent use. As a result, Charles found himself in places in the mansion he hadn’t been in for years. Perhaps inevitably though he kept going back to his mother’s study on the top floor.
Tonight, like most nights, he wheeled himself into the center of the room where Erik had stood those few weeks ago. Erik...his Erik. He could still feel Erik’s arms around him as they kissed, holding on to him so tightly. He could feel Erik’s lips against his own, soft and insistent.
But his Erik was gone. He’d gone into a submarine and come out Magneto. His Erik was lost.
Charles held back a sob. If he let his grief overwhelm him now, he’d be entirely useless and there were the children to think about. In fact, Charles was sure the only reason he was functioning at all was entirely due to Hank, Sean, and Alex. Everything else--everyone else--had been taken from him.
A soft rustle of fabric behind him caught his attention and his back stiffened. A quick check confirmed everyone else in the house was asleep, meaning it could only be one other person. Wiping at eyes he hadn’t realized were wet, Charles slowly turned his chair. “Magneto.”
“Charles--” Erik began.
“What do you want?” Charles cut him off. The helmet, he noted, was firmly in place and had even been embellished to be more ridiculous than before. An intense wave of loathing for the stupid thing rolled through him. “Why are you here?”
“I came to see you.”
Charles closed his eyes and opened them again slowly. “Well, you have. Now go.”
“Charles...”
“Please, go, Magneto. I can’t--I can’t look at you.”
Erik frowned. That was the second time Charles had called him that. “It’s still me, Charles. I’m still Erik.”
“No, you’re not. You took Erik from me. The moment you put that helmet on you took him from me,” Charles said, his voice strained.
“Erik loved me. He promised to be mine, completely. Now he’s gone and I--” Shuddering, Charles shook his head. No. He wouldn’t say it. He wouldn’t admit how weak he was. Not to this man. “This is why I pushed him away that first night. This is why I never wanted to start something between us in the first place. Because it could all too easily be taken away.”
Erik fought not to actually stagger against the force of Charles’s words and all the pain and loss in those too bright blue eyes. “Charles... I do love you. I have loved you,” he managed. “Please.”
Charles turned away, unable to look at him any more. “Then prove it. I still love Erik. I’m still his. Always. Go now and don’t come back until you can give my Erik back to me.”
Swallowing hard, Erik forced himself not to reach out and try to touch Charles. He could see the tension in those muscles he’d long admired, and he didn’t think he could bear it if Charles flinched away from him. He sighed and turned to go. “I’m sorry,” he murmured over his shoulder.
Charles waited until he was sure Magneto was gone and sagged in his chair, finally letting the tears slide freely down his cheeks.
….
A week passed. And then another. Charles still didn’t sleep much, though he was putting more of an effort into trying. It wasn’t hard to see the growing concern in the children, but especially on Hank’s blue and furry face as each day Charles dragged himself through the motions. Deep down he felt he should hate that knowing look on Hank’s face, but he reminded himself that Hank had lost someone, too. Hank, more than the other two, knew what it meant to open yourself up to someone and have them walk away from you.
Every day was an effort, but somehow with the children Charles found reserves of patience and stamina he didn’t know he possessed. Even as hurt as he was, he wouldn’t let them suffer for it. He would give them a home and a family, something none of them ever had, including him, despite the outward appearances.
Nights, though, nights were a different story. Charles didn’t wander the halls anymore. Instead, night after night he returned to his mother’s cold and lonely study. The pictures of himself on the walls seemed to stare at him accusingly. They had known this would happen after all; the truth of it was there for him in each picture. Charles had never had the perfect life his money and his upbringing should have promised him. He’d tried for something perfect, something real, with Erik, and now that it was all gone, his former selves did not pity him.
And yet, night after night he came into that room because some part of him, even after everything, some shriveled part of him still hoped that he would be sitting in that room and feel Erik’s familiar presence behind him. That he would turn and see the man he knew and loved.
As each night went on and Charles persistently remained alone, he allowed his thoughts to drift. Some nights he plotted and planned ways to hunt Magneto and his followers down, use his power to force them to turn on Magneto and then get that stupid fucking helmet off him. He wanted to bend them to his will and make them do things his way. Other nights he wondered if there was a way he could simply wipe Erik from his memory, make it so he had never loved him and been loved back. Make it so that for him and for the others there had only ever been Magneto.
Some detached part of him recognized that he was hurt and angry and betrayed and he just wanted to lash out at someone, make them hurt the way that he hurt. That same part of him also recognized that it was all his fault for opening himself up to Erik in the first place. By the time Charles’s self-imposed time limit for staying in his mother’s study rolled around, he was usually able at least to dispel these dark thoughts. He thought about the children and what their needs for the next day would be and he somehow managed to find the strength to keep going.
Most nights after his session in the study, Charles put himself to bed despite the fact that he would often simply lie there for hours, unable to really get comfortable. He used to prefer sprawling across the mattress and taking up far more space than was strictly necessary. He hadn’t yet fully adapted to his new reality and this was just one of the ways it was obvious. Eventually, exhaustion would pull him into sleep until Hank came to wake him in the morning.
But occasionally Charles simply couldn’t bear the cold futility of his bed and he made his way to the kitchen for some tea before going to his own study to work. The last night of the third week since Magneto’s visit was one such night.
Charles wheeled himself into the cavernous kitchen, taking a moment to check in with the house. Everyone was sleeping contentedly, Hank was even dreaming about chasing something happily through a forest, and Charles envied them that. And was glad of it at the same time. The only problem he had currently was that someone had accidentally put the tea away on a shelf high above his reach. Normally the tin was left on the counter for him for just this reason. He was sure it had been done in a moment of inattention, but it was still extremely frustrating. And Charles certainly wasn’t going to wake anyone out of their sleep to fetch it for him.
Dammit, where’s Erik when I really need him?
….
Only a few miles away from Xavier mansion, Erik was in a hotel getting ready for bed. Mystique had urged him not to go on this recruiting run alone, being so close to Westchester, but a pointed glare had been enough to silence her. As a precaution, Erik had agreed to keep the helmet on more than usual. Charles’s range was impressive but it did have limits. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn’t have concerned him.
However, he simply refused to sacrifice his hygiene to the helmet, and so at the end of the day, Erik slipped it off in preparation to take a shower.
Dammit, where’s Erik when I really need him?
That was Charles’s voice in his head.
“I’m here, Charles. … Charles?” Erik concentrated, waiting for something more from him, holding himself open to Charles’s presence.
Long moments passed and there was nothing. No hint of Charles with him. Erik frowned. Without another thought, he grabbed the car keys and sprinted from the room. The helmet was still sitting on the table.
….
Twenty minutes later, Charles was still sifting through the cabinets looking for another tin of tea leaves when the distinctive sound of the front door opening reached him. He frowned, rolling into the hallway and toward the sound without really thinking about it. His frown only deepened when a moment later he realized that it felt like-- “Erik?”
Erik froze. Turning his head, he met Charles’s eyes, eyes that brightened momentarily at the sight of him and then grew dark again in confusion.
“You’re here,” Charles whispered, almost too stunned to speak.
“I--” Now it was Erik’s turn to be confused. Charles seemed fine. There was no sign of intruders or attackers. The metal in the house whispered softly, warily to him, familiar in its way and telling him that there was nothing wrong with the structure. “I heard you. You needed me. You needed my help. I--I thought you were in trouble.”
Charles frowned again and then his mouth dropped open. “Oh, Erik. Oh, I am so sorry.”
“What, Charles?”
He tried to hold it back, but the laughter bubbled helplessly up from inside him. His nose crinkled and he dissolved into what could only legitimately be called giggles.
“Charles, what?” Erik said, becoming exasperated. He was still frozen to the spot where he was standing, not daring to come any closer.
“The tea,” Charles said, tears running down his cheeks now from laughing. Erik shook his head at him, still not understanding. “I wanted to make a cup of tea but someone put the tin away up on a shelf. I thought--just for a moment I thought that if you were here you could help me. I didn’t realize I was projecting that. And now here you are.”
Erik shrugged, lifting his hands helplessly. “And here I am.”
“Here you are,” Charles repeated, full realization hitting him. “Erik--”
Something inside Erik broke and he finally rushed to Charles’s side, dropping to his knees next to his chair and pulling him into his embrace. “Charles.”
“Erik. Erik,” Charles sobbed into his shoulder, gripping him tightly. “How--?”
“I was nearby at a hotel, getting ready to have a shower, when I heard you. Felt you. I didn’t stop to think. I just got in the car and drove,” Erik replied, stroking Charles’s back.
“You took the helmet off to shower,” Charles said flatly.
“But I came for you,” Erik replied. “As soon as I felt you I came for you. Charles...I knew what I was doing.”
Charles pulled back, wiping at his tears and unable to reply. But he didn’t entirely let go of him.
“Can we talk somewhere?” Erik asked. “Please?”
“Of course,” Charles said. He led Erik back toward the kitchen. After thinking about this moment for weeks, Charles was suddenly unsure how to handle it. Somehow he hadn’t expected Erik to look so much like he remembered, right down to the black turtleneck he was wearing. Part of him simply wanted Erik to take him to his room and spend the rest of the night making up for lost time. He stopped in front of the cabinet where the tea had been placed, gesturing up. “If you wouldn’t mind...?”
Smiling softly, Erik gestured at the tin and delivered it into Charles’s lap. He got one of Charles’s smiles in return at that, but it was uncharacteristically sad. Erik put the pot on to boil while Charles fixed the cups, and he tried not to be forcefully reminded of their first kiss. Except this time Charles wouldn’t be lunging across any tables. “Charles, I’m so sorry. I never should have come to you like that, as Magneto. You deserved better from me after everything that’s happened. After what I did to you.”
“Erik--I could have forgiven you for shooting me. I could have even forgiven you for killing Shaw that way. You know I was there, in his head? I felt that coin pass through him. But I could have handled that. I would have found a way. What I couldn’t handle was losing you, too. You walked away from me the moment you put that helmet on. It was like you had died.” Charles was amazed that somehow his voice remained quiet and even, hardly wavering at all.
“The helmet was a mistake,” Erik said. “I never should have put it on, but I couldn’t let you sway me from what I had to do.”
“I would never--”
“No, you wouldn’t have used your power on me. You wouldn’t have had to. Your voice, pleading in my head... I wouldn’t have been able to resist that. And Shaw had to die. For my mother, for me, for all the others he would have done the same thing to.”
Charles reached out and squeezed Erik’s hand, the pain rolling off of him nearly palpable. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize to me, Charles. I have far more to be sorry for.” Erik squeezed Charles’s hand back, pausing only to remove the whistling kettle from the range and pour the water into their cups. “Did you mean it? When you said you still loved me, that you’re still mine?”
“Yes, I meant it,” Charles murmured. “Do you still love me?”
Erik took Charles’s hand again, stroking his thumb softly across the back. “You said it yourself, Charles. We want different things. I believe the humans will never stop being afraid of us, that they will fight us and hunt us, and that sometimes a good offense is needed as much as a good defense. And I think you would do well to believe it a little more.”
Charles opened his mouth to protest but was silenced by a look from Erik.
“And I think I would also do well to believe a little more that the humans will one day accept us, will one day believe we’re not a threat. I think your school could use a little more of my way of seeing things. You need security, protection.”
“What are you saying?” Charles said.
“I’m saying that I told Mystique and the others I was coming near here on a recruiting mission, but it was a lie. I was always coming here to see you, to ask if you would consider letting me help protect you and your students from the humans, if you would let me come back to you. You need me to balance your rampant optimism, and I need you to balance and temper my distrust and cynicism. Your little mental excursion just brought me here earlier than I intended. And yes, I still love you. Of course I do.”
Charles wrapped his hand around Erik’s wrist and pulled, dragging Erik off his stool and into a deep, fervent kiss. “Erik--what about the others? Will they come with you?” he asked, not really letting Erik back up.
Erik stroked his fingers through Charles’s hair. “It might take a little doing, but I think Mystique will come around. She’ll never be the Raven you knew again, but Mystique is a good woman to have on your side. Where she and I go, at least some of the others are bound to follow. But I can’t make any guarantees. Frost is a formidable woman and she could decide to lead them on her own.”
“Whoever wants to join us is welcome,” Charles said. “I’ll need instructors of all kinds once I get the school up and running. I’m--a little behind. I was barely holding it together three weeks ago. If I’m honest, I’m not doing much better now. The only thing keeping me going is the children. But now you’re here.”
“So that’s a yes, then? You want me back with you?”
“Erik, if you think I am ever letting you go again, then you are out of your mind,” Charles said, beaming at him.
It was so good to see Charles’s old smile that there was no way Erik could resist kissing him again. He wrapped his hands around Charles’s shoulders, pulling him as close as possible. Charles’s shoulders were thinner than he remembered, which probably meant that Charles wasn’t eating. The fact that he was looking for tea this time of night meant he probably also wasn’t sleeping. “Let me take care of you,” he murmured against Charles’s lips.
“Yes. I’m yours. Always,” Charles replied.
Erik dumped the tea and cups in the sink and followed Charles from the kitchen. “Can I...?” he asked, putting his hands on Charles’s chair. The metal in it responded to him instantly, seeming to welcome his touch on Charles’s behalf. Erik knew he could easily move the chair without his hands, but for now, he needed badly to touch, to understand it as a part of Charles now.
“Of course,” Charles said, taking his hands from the wheels. “I moved my bedroom down to the first floor, the end of the hall in the west wing. It seemed... prudent now.”
Choosing not to reply, Erik simply reached out to squeeze Charles’s shoulder. The room itself didn’t look much different from the room Erik remembered upstairs. The furniture was similar, but then most of the house was furnished in the same style. The color of the walls was different. The bed though was the same, still covered in plush pillows and blankets. He’d always thought of it more like a nest than a bed, precisely. The only difference was that the bed was now lower to the ground, the surface aligned with the height of Charles’s chair. Erik shut the door behind them and locked it with a thought.
Charles took over the chair, wheeling over to the bed and then transferring to the surface. He couldn’t quite meet Erik’s eyes as he started to bend down to try to remove his shoes.
“Stop. Let me,” Erik said, kneeling in front of him. He unlaced Charles’s shoes and slipped them from his feet and followed it with his socks. Kneeling up, he slowly pulled Charles’s cardigan open, and then his dress shirt, pressing kisses to Charles’s throat and chest as it was exposed.
“Erik--” Charles murmured, running his hand through Erik’s hair.
Erik looked up at him and smiled. “So beautiful. You’ve always been so beautiful to me. You still are. I love you.”
“I love you,” Charles said.
A familiar brush against his mind made Erik smile and he leaned up to capture Charles’s mouth. I want you here with me, too. Please.
Erik, I need you. It feels like forever since you touched me last.
“I’m here,” Erik murmured against his lips. And I’m not going anywhere.
Is that a promise?
Erik started working Charles’s pants open and down over his hips. It’s a promise. I’ll never leave you again.
Charles tugged him up again, kissing him deeply to seal his promise. “Need you.”
Working together, they finished stripping Charles of his clothes and Erik laid him out against the plush mattress. He took a long look at Charles’s naked form, licking his lips at the sight of him. “So beautiful.”
Ducking his head, Charles blushed and then looked pointedly at Erik. “Your turn.”
Smiling, wide and joyful, Erik stripped his turtleneck and pants in record time, barely restraining himself from pouncing on Charles the minute he was also naked. He crawled over Charles, caressing the available skin as he kissed a pathway up to his lips.
Charles squirmed and reached for Erik, wishing he could wrap his legs around him. But it was enough to see Erik, his Erik, spreading them and settling himself between them as they kissed endlessly. It felt so good to have Erik’s hands on his skin, stroking, petting, exploring, reacquainting himself with Charles’s body. Erik’s mouth explored wherever his hands weren’t, and when Erik pulled a nipple between his teeth while a hand wrapped around his cock, Charles couldn’t hold back a cry. “Yes, Erik!”
Erik stroked and suckled, enjoying the feel of Charles writhing beneath him. Images and sensations from previous couplings cycled through his mind, Charles’s control in shreds.
Please! Erik! Charles arched against him as much as he could, hands tightening on Erik’s shoulders.
“I’ve got you,” Erik murmured. “I’m here.” One thing that hadn’t changed at all was the small metal pot where Charles kept the lubricant. It was sitting nestled in the nightstand, and Erik pulled it out for them. He slicked his fingers and gently worked them into Charles. If he wondered how much of this Charles could feel, his question was swiftly answered by the sharp gasp and long moan from Charles as he nudged his prostate.
“Erik...” Charles panted. “That’s amazing.”
Kissing him again, Erik finished preparing him. It took a moment to try to figure out how to help Charles with the best angle, but once they had it, Erik was able to slide deep inside him. The feel of Charles surrounding him once again was heady and perfect, and Erik moaned his pleasure. He kept his pace steady, focusing on Charles and looking for any sign of pain or discomfort.
Not going to break, Charles panted in his mind. Fuck me.
Biting his lip, Erik upped his pace, finding that familiar pulse of arousal in Charles’s mind. It grew brighter as Charles got closer and closer to tipping over the edge, and it generally meant that they would go over together as Charles’s pleasure was transmitted back to and through him on a loop. Just as the brightness seemed ready to overwhelm them, Erik murmured, “Come for me.”
Charles cried out and the sound echoed in Erik’s mind as pleasure and release swamped them both. He was dimly aware of Charles’s body twisting under him as Erik emptied himself deep inside Charles. Their minds were as entangled as their bodies, and it took Erik several moments to sort out where he ended and where Charles began.
“That was perfect,” Charles murmured as their breathing slowed and they started to come back to themselves. He kissed Erik’s jaw and cheeks and temple soothingly. “You’re perfect.”
“Hardly perfect,” Erik replied, kissing Charles. He eased out of Charles’s body and stretched out next to him. “But I’m willing to try.”
Charles stroked his hair and ran a thumb over his lips. “You’re perfect to me. And I love you.”
“I love you,” Erik replied. “Will the others be okay, finding me here in the morning?”
“You’re staying the night?” Charles asked, not able to hide his surprise. “I just thought you’d need to go back to the hotel for your things. You’ll have to go back to Mystique and explain things to her.”
“I promised I would never leave you again and I meant it,” Erik said, smiling. “I think we should go talk to Mystique together. We can pick up my things along the way. For now, I want nothing more than to hold you tonight and for maybe a long part of tomorrow.”
“I like that,” Charles said. “And I think the others will be okay. Hank will be upset. He misses Raven--Mystique--very much. But they’ll come around. It’ll just take some time for everyone to adapt. As long as we’re together, though, I think we can handle anything that comes our way.”
Things weren’t perfect. There was still a lot of pain and hurt and real, deep differences between them. But tomorrow, Erik would take Charles back to his hotel and together they would destroy the helmet that had separated them. It was a start.
For the moment, Erik was warm and certain he was where he was meant to be. Erik tipped Charles’s face up to him, smiling into warm blue eyes as he kissed him deeply once more. The metal in the house murmured to him, content, as it settled around them.