T-Minus 1 hour and 12 minutes
So it's closing in on Christmas here in the US, specifically the Central Time Zone, though obviously not as close as those in the East Time Zone, and some are already breathing in the fresh Christmas air.
I'm forcing myself to be good this year, though usually it's not a problem. Both of my grandmothers are ill, and thus we won't be having the huge celebration that we typically have. It has been reschedule, but for a time that I won't be going. Why? I have my reasons, and honestly, it's more about the day, and becoming more and more about my sister, as spoiled as she is sometimes. At least so she seems. She sadly has that 'It's all about me' attitude, but some of it is for show and attention, and she'd never step on somebodies toes on purpose. Her kind and gentle loving spirit reminds me of those around me that are the same, though their expressions of individuality are obviously different.
For this Christmas, I don't want any tangible gifts, though I know I will (and already have) get some. It never really felt like Christmas, and really never sank in until I started reading some entries here and there, and listening to voice mails of genuine care in them this morning. What I want is for those who feel as though they're without love to know that they are loved. For those who are lonely, to look around and know, that in some ways at least, you're not alone.
I realize at times I feel that way, then I look around, and realize that I have people around me that do care in some way, in a way that they can. Even if it's offering to go do something that I wouldn't/couldn't do, it's their way of trying to show that they care. Some of my friends never know what I go through on a day to day basis, in fact I would wager that none do. That's my choice, and that choice can leave me feeling alone, and at times, unloved. After all, who could love my secret places? My friends, that's who. From the bear hug, a share of a dragon's trove, a flamingo's dance, a coyote's long distant howl, a jackal's smile, and one who is so much like me at times in both personality and experiences that all we can do is laugh; each show love in their own unique way. I can accept that or reject it, but that doesn't change the fact that it exists. And not accepting by default rejects it, but it's still there.
As all of you are part of this giant conglamorat known as the penguin colony, as am I. Know that all of you are loved and thought about this Christmas.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good morning.
And in case I don't see you, have a good day, a good afternoon, and a good night.
- Joshua
I'm forcing myself to be good this year, though usually it's not a problem. Both of my grandmothers are ill, and thus we won't be having the huge celebration that we typically have. It has been reschedule, but for a time that I won't be going. Why? I have my reasons, and honestly, it's more about the day, and becoming more and more about my sister, as spoiled as she is sometimes. At least so she seems. She sadly has that 'It's all about me' attitude, but some of it is for show and attention, and she'd never step on somebodies toes on purpose. Her kind and gentle loving spirit reminds me of those around me that are the same, though their expressions of individuality are obviously different.
For this Christmas, I don't want any tangible gifts, though I know I will (and already have) get some. It never really felt like Christmas, and really never sank in until I started reading some entries here and there, and listening to voice mails of genuine care in them this morning. What I want is for those who feel as though they're without love to know that they are loved. For those who are lonely, to look around and know, that in some ways at least, you're not alone.
I realize at times I feel that way, then I look around, and realize that I have people around me that do care in some way, in a way that they can. Even if it's offering to go do something that I wouldn't/couldn't do, it's their way of trying to show that they care. Some of my friends never know what I go through on a day to day basis, in fact I would wager that none do. That's my choice, and that choice can leave me feeling alone, and at times, unloved. After all, who could love my secret places? My friends, that's who. From the bear hug, a share of a dragon's trove, a flamingo's dance, a coyote's long distant howl, a jackal's smile, and one who is so much like me at times in both personality and experiences that all we can do is laugh; each show love in their own unique way. I can accept that or reject it, but that doesn't change the fact that it exists. And not accepting by default rejects it, but it's still there.
As all of you are part of this giant conglamorat known as the penguin colony, as am I. Know that all of you are loved and thought about this Christmas.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good morning.
And in case I don't see you, have a good day, a good afternoon, and a good night.
- Joshua