G-G-G-G-Get Over It
OK GO is really good for doing homework to, lol. I like the lyrics, I need to download more of their music. :D
In other news, I've gotten a lot accomplished today. I tried to make a to-do list, but since I kind of fail of that, I made a 'PLAN OF ATTACK' list instead and gave all the tasks point values with a reward once I reached 100, 200 and 300 points. I'm happy to report that I've gotten all but two of the items on the list done. One of those items involves books that I don't have with me, and the other one involves international faxing. I also managed to make a phone call to my boss to tell her I am not able to come in to work on Saturday. I, disliking phone calls in any language, was really putting it off. What made it worse is the fact that I had to miss last week because I was super sick, but at least she was understanding, but I still dislike 'calling out' in general.
There was an earthquake this morning. I woke up a little bit before it, thought it strange that my body was rocking, and then was disturbed by my terrifying 'early earthquake warning' on my phone. I remember looking at it and being like, "lol, thanks for the warning...AFTER THE FACT" and then going back to sleep. At least I didn't freak out like I did at Mika's, lol. It's the only earthquake that I've really actually felt, and I was half asleep so I thought that I was being rocked, lol. Still earthquakes are scary, but at least in Hokkaido it's like 500% less dangerous for Earthquakes than the rest of Japan. I'm pretty sure if I experienced a stronger one then I'd freak out.
So, there was this really cool event going on in Nibutani. It's basically "The Current State of Ainu Education." People from Japan, Taiwan, New Zealand and America are going to speak. Narumi told me about it a while back and since it was scheduled for this weekend, I asked her about it on Tuesday, and then she called Koizumi and he said that the deadline for it had already passed.
Now, that day I had met with my tutor, who, for some reason, puts me in a terrible mood. It's probably because she's condescending, I can't understand a lot of the complicated words that she uses, and she always seems impatient when she's talking to me, and is always like, "That's not a word you use for writing!" with this tone that expects me to KNOW this stuff. I don't. I've studied some of the stuff, briefly, if at all, and I can't remember it all the time. It just pisses me off. She's always remarking about how I'm so good at speaking Japanese, but I can't write for crap. I know that, and I try really hard, but her reactions just make me angry. I showed her the notes that I took for the interview and she was like, "Well, why aren't they in Japanese?" I told her, point-blank, that it's faster for me to take notes in English, as it's my native tongue and all, and since I have a recording, I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I ended up getting really frustrated, to the point of tears and saying, "Look, I'm trying REALLY hard, okay?" She was like, "Oh I know you are. But do you really think that you can actually get this done by next week?" Ugh. If I say I will do something (assignment wise) then I will do something....ugggghh. Anyway.
The point of writing all of that was to explain that after I had gotten all wound up from meeting with my tutor, I was told that I missed the conference deadline. Both Narumi and Koizumi apologized, but Narumi told me that it was going to be okay....but that I could go for one day, but how was I going to get there? To go there meant that I'd have to miss work.
She asked me, do I really want to go. I told her I did. I do. I really, really want to go, and I got all frustrated and kept crying. (I was also having a day where it was tough to explain myself.) I told her I was tired, frustrated that I had to always make decisions based on money. I can't afford to miss work and go to the conference if I have to pay to get there and to stay somewhere. It is just tiring to always want to do things and to have to hold back all the time because I can't financially do what I want to do. It's just so hard.
Well, Narumi ended up deciding that everyone should go, and basically organized it so that the whole household could go. I can't really explain how much it means to me. She told me that I need to ask for help, that if people can't do things, they will tell me that they won't. That asking and telling them that I don't want to burden them is the worst way to ask. That I should just ask. If they accept it will be a burden regardless, but people want to do things for me just like I want to do things for them. I guess that's hard for me to understand. Like, I know why I want to help people, but I still, for some reason, think its bizarre that people want to help me.
Anyway, long, cry-y story short, Narumi said that there probably wouldn't be an issue registering late (there wasn't) and I guess she's renting a car for us to drive in, and we're staying at Koizumi's acquaintance's house. ;____; To have everyone do this for me is really nice and I'm super happy about it, so I really need to buckle down and try my best to write my thesis. I guess there are just things in this world that really overwhelm me with feelings that I cannot express. The Ainu people and their struggles to survive in modern Japan is one of those things. I was brought almost to tears by Honda-sensei, who is really an amazing woman who should be praised all around for the work that she's done for Ainu Youth in Nibutani and for all of Hokkaido by persevering through the harassment she encountered at work to make the scholarship for Ainu students to enter Sapporo Daigaku and then to graduate and hopefully work with some of the best and biggest companies in Hokkaido. To have people that are willing to do this, to help, makes me feel really proud, even though, granted, I'm not part of anything at all. But it uncovers my desire, that tiny little flame that wants to help the world's Native People work together to preserve and keep their culture.
Blah, blah, blah, I know. Anyway, despite that it's only a tiny, tiny minuscule thing, I want to write my thesis. I want to keep with the me the knowledge that I've gained, to carry with me all my life. Who knows if I go to graduate school, if I don't, if I end up being able to study Abenaki stuff or not, I just really want to learn and help, I guess. To help people understand one another. Guess that's why I also want to be a diplomat.
Uhhh...something about hip-length boots is inherently sexy....what? Just sayin'....>___> Don't look at me like that. Someone just walked by in them. Oh, there was also this really awkward couple in here. (here being Mister Donut) Anyway, the chick and dude were super loud and kept talking loudly, too. They kept laughing loudly, the chick had these huge horse teeth and they were sitting across from me so I could see the chick, but only the dude's back. At one point, the horse chick let out this huge awkward guffaw, and the girl sitting next to them (with one of those unfortunate balls of hair on her head) met my eyes and we both giggled silently. Once they got up to leave, we watched as Horse Chick painstakingly adjusted all of layers of skirt by lifting them all up...and smoothing them individually under her coat. A hot mess is what she was. Anyway, Ball of Hair girl and I shared another across-the-room giggle. It was good times. <3
There's also this worker in here who really dislikes being here...or something. I dunno. I feel like she's actually wishing for me to kill her with the attitude that she has. I guess its normal for America, but strange for Japan, lol. There's also this goth girl now sitting where Horse Chick and Awkward Guy had sat. She has really cute bow-type designs on her tights, and she's drawing. I keep snaking peeks at her stuff, it looks really good from where I'm sitting. I'm going to pretend that she's a famous manga-ka who lives in Sapporo. :D Hee hee hee~
I also got a call from Yamazaki-san and I'm going to tutor the Middle school boy who's currently in the DV Shelter with his mom. It should be interesting. I'm not sure what I'll be able to teach him, but I'd be happy just to chat with him. At least I hope it will put a little ray of sunshine in his kind of drab day. He's not able to go back to school now since they're in between housing situations and such. I'm not really sure what kind of person to expect, so I'm kind of nervous. Hopefully he won't be dissapointed, lol.
Well, I was supposed to meet with Norimi-chan today, but I kind of responded to her email kind of late and she emailed me to tell me that she had to head home. So since I already told Narumi that I'd be eating out tonight, I guess I'm going to grab something from Lawson and just sit around Misudo for a bit longer until I head home. *shrug* I got a bunch of homework done, so it's not a complete loss.
"Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better/ Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together"
"(Tell me am I right) Don't you feed me lies about some idealistic future/ (Tell me am I right) Your heart it won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures" -The Postal Service - Nothing Better --> <3
In other news, I've gotten a lot accomplished today. I tried to make a to-do list, but since I kind of fail of that, I made a 'PLAN OF ATTACK' list instead and gave all the tasks point values with a reward once I reached 100, 200 and 300 points. I'm happy to report that I've gotten all but two of the items on the list done. One of those items involves books that I don't have with me, and the other one involves international faxing. I also managed to make a phone call to my boss to tell her I am not able to come in to work on Saturday. I, disliking phone calls in any language, was really putting it off. What made it worse is the fact that I had to miss last week because I was super sick, but at least she was understanding, but I still dislike 'calling out' in general.
There was an earthquake this morning. I woke up a little bit before it, thought it strange that my body was rocking, and then was disturbed by my terrifying 'early earthquake warning' on my phone. I remember looking at it and being like, "lol, thanks for the warning...AFTER THE FACT" and then going back to sleep. At least I didn't freak out like I did at Mika's, lol. It's the only earthquake that I've really actually felt, and I was half asleep so I thought that I was being rocked, lol. Still earthquakes are scary, but at least in Hokkaido it's like 500% less dangerous for Earthquakes than the rest of Japan. I'm pretty sure if I experienced a stronger one then I'd freak out.
So, there was this really cool event going on in Nibutani. It's basically "The Current State of Ainu Education." People from Japan, Taiwan, New Zealand and America are going to speak. Narumi told me about it a while back and since it was scheduled for this weekend, I asked her about it on Tuesday, and then she called Koizumi and he said that the deadline for it had already passed.
Now, that day I had met with my tutor, who, for some reason, puts me in a terrible mood. It's probably because she's condescending, I can't understand a lot of the complicated words that she uses, and she always seems impatient when she's talking to me, and is always like, "That's not a word you use for writing!" with this tone that expects me to KNOW this stuff. I don't. I've studied some of the stuff, briefly, if at all, and I can't remember it all the time. It just pisses me off. She's always remarking about how I'm so good at speaking Japanese, but I can't write for crap. I know that, and I try really hard, but her reactions just make me angry. I showed her the notes that I took for the interview and she was like, "Well, why aren't they in Japanese?" I told her, point-blank, that it's faster for me to take notes in English, as it's my native tongue and all, and since I have a recording, I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I ended up getting really frustrated, to the point of tears and saying, "Look, I'm trying REALLY hard, okay?" She was like, "Oh I know you are. But do you really think that you can actually get this done by next week?" Ugh. If I say I will do something (assignment wise) then I will do something....ugggghh. Anyway.
The point of writing all of that was to explain that after I had gotten all wound up from meeting with my tutor, I was told that I missed the conference deadline. Both Narumi and Koizumi apologized, but Narumi told me that it was going to be okay....but that I could go for one day, but how was I going to get there? To go there meant that I'd have to miss work.
She asked me, do I really want to go. I told her I did. I do. I really, really want to go, and I got all frustrated and kept crying. (I was also having a day where it was tough to explain myself.) I told her I was tired, frustrated that I had to always make decisions based on money. I can't afford to miss work and go to the conference if I have to pay to get there and to stay somewhere. It is just tiring to always want to do things and to have to hold back all the time because I can't financially do what I want to do. It's just so hard.
Well, Narumi ended up deciding that everyone should go, and basically organized it so that the whole household could go. I can't really explain how much it means to me. She told me that I need to ask for help, that if people can't do things, they will tell me that they won't. That asking and telling them that I don't want to burden them is the worst way to ask. That I should just ask. If they accept it will be a burden regardless, but people want to do things for me just like I want to do things for them. I guess that's hard for me to understand. Like, I know why I want to help people, but I still, for some reason, think its bizarre that people want to help me.
Anyway, long, cry-y story short, Narumi said that there probably wouldn't be an issue registering late (there wasn't) and I guess she's renting a car for us to drive in, and we're staying at Koizumi's acquaintance's house. ;____; To have everyone do this for me is really nice and I'm super happy about it, so I really need to buckle down and try my best to write my thesis. I guess there are just things in this world that really overwhelm me with feelings that I cannot express. The Ainu people and their struggles to survive in modern Japan is one of those things. I was brought almost to tears by Honda-sensei, who is really an amazing woman who should be praised all around for the work that she's done for Ainu Youth in Nibutani and for all of Hokkaido by persevering through the harassment she encountered at work to make the scholarship for Ainu students to enter Sapporo Daigaku and then to graduate and hopefully work with some of the best and biggest companies in Hokkaido. To have people that are willing to do this, to help, makes me feel really proud, even though, granted, I'm not part of anything at all. But it uncovers my desire, that tiny little flame that wants to help the world's Native People work together to preserve and keep their culture.
Blah, blah, blah, I know. Anyway, despite that it's only a tiny, tiny minuscule thing, I want to write my thesis. I want to keep with the me the knowledge that I've gained, to carry with me all my life. Who knows if I go to graduate school, if I don't, if I end up being able to study Abenaki stuff or not, I just really want to learn and help, I guess. To help people understand one another. Guess that's why I also want to be a diplomat.
Uhhh...something about hip-length boots is inherently sexy....what? Just sayin'....>___> Don't look at me like that. Someone just walked by in them. Oh, there was also this really awkward couple in here. (here being Mister Donut) Anyway, the chick and dude were super loud and kept talking loudly, too. They kept laughing loudly, the chick had these huge horse teeth and they were sitting across from me so I could see the chick, but only the dude's back. At one point, the horse chick let out this huge awkward guffaw, and the girl sitting next to them (with one of those unfortunate balls of hair on her head) met my eyes and we both giggled silently. Once they got up to leave, we watched as Horse Chick painstakingly adjusted all of layers of skirt by lifting them all up...and smoothing them individually under her coat. A hot mess is what she was. Anyway, Ball of Hair girl and I shared another across-the-room giggle. It was good times. <3
There's also this worker in here who really dislikes being here...or something. I dunno. I feel like she's actually wishing for me to kill her with the attitude that she has. I guess its normal for America, but strange for Japan, lol. There's also this goth girl now sitting where Horse Chick and Awkward Guy had sat. She has really cute bow-type designs on her tights, and she's drawing. I keep snaking peeks at her stuff, it looks really good from where I'm sitting. I'm going to pretend that she's a famous manga-ka who lives in Sapporo. :D Hee hee hee~
I also got a call from Yamazaki-san and I'm going to tutor the Middle school boy who's currently in the DV Shelter with his mom. It should be interesting. I'm not sure what I'll be able to teach him, but I'd be happy just to chat with him. At least I hope it will put a little ray of sunshine in his kind of drab day. He's not able to go back to school now since they're in between housing situations and such. I'm not really sure what kind of person to expect, so I'm kind of nervous. Hopefully he won't be dissapointed, lol.
Well, I was supposed to meet with Norimi-chan today, but I kind of responded to her email kind of late and she emailed me to tell me that she had to head home. So since I already told Narumi that I'd be eating out tonight, I guess I'm going to grab something from Lawson and just sit around Misudo for a bit longer until I head home. *shrug* I got a bunch of homework done, so it's not a complete loss.
"Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better/ Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together"
"(Tell me am I right) Don't you feed me lies about some idealistic future/ (Tell me am I right) Your heart it won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures" -The Postal Service - Nothing Better --> <3