Danny.<3
the past 6 days have been unbearable. idk how nat is doing it, she is one tough cookie. i'm talking to her now, and i just can't help but think of how proud of her i am. she really is amazing.
as for the rest of us, idk. i had my talk with sam about how we should be happy that Danny's now FINALLY peaceful after all the crap and rumours, and that really calmed me down. I have this like weird understanding of how God just wanted him back up there, ya know? it's not something easily described, i gues. I really didn't understand how something this terrible could've happened to him, it just seemed so surreal and dreamlike. School has been terrible, my concentration is at an all time low, along with everyone elses. at least the teachers are being semi-understanding about it. i understand life goes on but it has really been horrible. this week, words really can't describe it.
i'm so exhausted right now and suffering from major lack of sleep, but i figured i might as well just write in here. i was up late doing an essay for mr.c that is like 3 classes old, so i felt bad. but this was the 1st hw assignment i've done since this whole thing started. i just can't concentrate and everything is just blurry. it just doesnt seem real anymore; Danny's gone. just the other friday, on his birthday, when he came to say hey, we were talking about how we had to hang out and how we missed each other, and how he had to come to our musical practices and come see the show. he'll have the best seat in the house now.
memories are overwhelming me now, i keep thinking about all of them and all of the ones last year, esp during musical, all the times me and him got our ribbons caught together and we got in trouble together with russel, all the lines he and vicky could never coordinate cus, as always, he never knew them so while vicky was hiccupping danny would be talking... oh it was so much fun... and when i met him for the first time, back when i was in 8th grade... yeahhh. good times... i was looking through my Godspell scrapbook and i couldn't help but just feel so happy and privilegded that i got to work with him. He was just so amazing, no other word can really describe him. just so passionate about what he did... he's really gonna be missed.
no musical tomorrow because of the wake, and then russel's just giving us sunday off so we can get ourselves together. i'm really genuinely thankful for this break, because we really do need it, a "fresh start" monday, as he called it. and this time nat will be part of it. God, i love that girl.
i guess that's all for now, the following days shall be more peaceful, hopefully.
love to all, and if anyone needs someone to talk to, i'm here. I'm praying for all of you,<3<3