Shutt uppe alreadey, My Dere Lady Anne

[pendrecarc]

I haffe, for the past severall dayes, beene engaged in reading the memoirs of Lady Anne Halkett, and itt seemes thatt her style and manner of spelling are contageous, for I cannott sett penne too paper or fingers to keyebord butt itt comes outt all wonkey. For the which I begge yowr pardonne, but sureley I canot bee blamed too severeley, for att leste my discours is not so tedeous as My Lady's, who withowt advantege of a fandomme yett managed too create of herselfe the moste heinous Mary-Sue as ever there was, and complaned so often that she was the most unfortunate person living, as her choice of paramores was so idiotick as too bee greately pityed, and as she could not ridde herselfe of those severall gentelmene who felle in love with here att firste sight, and as she was continualey slandered with despicabel lies and wrongede by those too whom she had ofered nought but civilitey, and yete was in all things innocentte of ill design or immodestey, that I could gladely strangel the selfe-righteous bitche by the throwte if I hade bene given the oportunitey.

********

No, I was not too fond of Lady Anne Halkett, her charming spelling aside. Think that'll come out in the paper?