(no subject)
Hey you guys I definatly got a job at Borders but I might also have a 2nd job somewhere else. But I am still a bit depressed. Ugh just Stuff. I just want to Hold Chris right now and cry and cuddle and fall asleep. But what do I get to do...right now I am typing this then crying myself to sleep. I don't feel like writing everything about the last few days but lets just break down some of the good and bad. 1st I was feeling a bit lonely and Jealous. Then a friend calls and asks me to come down for a day or 2. I get there and meet all kinds of lesbians! So I have like 3 new best friends. ILOANA pronounced ILL-ANN-AH. is really awsome. she looks just like one of my best friends sisters. And her name reminds me of this girl I had a crush on in college before I came out. her name was ILONA pronounced ILL-OWN-AH. but anyways she was very beautiful and she said she wanted to go party. Thursday night. So I was like Hmmmm My friend Jazmyne ALWAYS wants to party with me so maybe I can invite her. So I call her up and all of a sudden I'm like here talk to my friend. Iloana and Jazmyne Talk for 3 hours. Then we go and they totally love each other. ALL Up in each others grill's they were making out like it was fuckin the end of the world. And all Malinda and I could do is pretend not to watch.I can tell so many things about that night. I just wish my baby would have been there. I would have liked to have been dancing with him instead of Malinda. (the 2 songs I did dance to) Then we go home and DRAMA. Wake up to DRAMA. then DRAMA. I felt like a fucking Magnet tonight and all I attracted was shit. We were supposed to go out again tonight and DRAMA. so I called up my Chris and he came and got me and brought me home. I feel as if he is distanceing himself from me. I really just wanted to sit and talk to him the last 2 nights but thursday I couldn't let Jaz and Iloana goto the club alone right after they met. And tonight he was to tired. I wish he would tell me these things though. It's so hard to talk to him when I always feel as if he doesn't want to talk to me also. But anyways I'm off. Late.