Rant: Just because you have the word "SEXY" printed across your fat ass, doesn't mean you are.
Greetings and Salutations
I woke up yesterday morning, after a little more than three hours sleep, and turned on my television to be rudely snapped out of my zombie like state by a commercial with a fat, ugly woman sitting in her bath tub. It was a commercial for Rona. You know, the really annoying ones with that stupid voice over..."You don't need a professional, you're a handy man/woman". Something along those lines. Anyway, it pissed me off, and it got me to thinking about how much I hate ugly fat chicks.
Now, I'm not talking about chicks with a few extra vanity pounds. If you're just like 20 pounds over weight, it's not considered fat, it's considered pleasantly plump.
I'm reffering to those chicks that are 40-8000 pounds over weight. Those gargantuan sins of nature that can't walk up 3 stairs without stopping to take a half hour break just to get their breath back.
Don't get me wrong here, I don't hate these broads because they're fat. I hate them because they think they can pull off wearing tight clothes that reveal that disgusting tub of hanging, overlapping flesh they call a "tummy". You all know what kind of clothes I'm talking about. Those midriff tees with the words "Princess" or "Angel" slapped on the front. Oh, and lets not forget those sweat pants with the word, "Sexy" printed on the ass. I guess no one told these whales that just because it says so on your clothes, doesn't mean you're either one of those things. There's a reason those shirts/pants don't come in quadruple XL. That reason is, you're fat and disgusting. Cover your fat ass up.
You're not Christina or Britney or Beyonce. If you want to wear tight clothes, then have the fucking deceny to go to a gym and work for the body that you pretend to have, instead of spending your time sitting on your fat ass, watching day time tv while picking the remains of your breakfast pizza out of that deep end you call a belly button.
But no, they don't want to work. They believe they have "inner beauty", because they spend all day watching Ricky Lake, and have adopted the "if you got it, flaunt it" mentality. Well, I hate to be the one to tell you this, Shamu, but inner beauty isn't going to get you laid, and it doesn't make you 400 pounds thinner. The only thing you "got" is a serious weight problem........you can't WEIGHT to start eating again.
I'm not saying that you have to have the "perfect" body, but tiny clothes were made for thin people. If you need the Jaws of Life to get you into your hot pants and tube top (shout out to polarbear_esq) then it WASN'T MADE FOR YOU. Get some decency, and cover up before I throw up....all over your fat ass.
Cheers.
P.S. I know I spelled "wait" wrong. If you didn't get the joke, you're a moron.
I woke up yesterday morning, after a little more than three hours sleep, and turned on my television to be rudely snapped out of my zombie like state by a commercial with a fat, ugly woman sitting in her bath tub. It was a commercial for Rona. You know, the really annoying ones with that stupid voice over..."You don't need a professional, you're a handy man/woman". Something along those lines. Anyway, it pissed me off, and it got me to thinking about how much I hate ugly fat chicks.
Now, I'm not talking about chicks with a few extra vanity pounds. If you're just like 20 pounds over weight, it's not considered fat, it's considered pleasantly plump.
I'm reffering to those chicks that are 40-8000 pounds over weight. Those gargantuan sins of nature that can't walk up 3 stairs without stopping to take a half hour break just to get their breath back.
Don't get me wrong here, I don't hate these broads because they're fat. I hate them because they think they can pull off wearing tight clothes that reveal that disgusting tub of hanging, overlapping flesh they call a "tummy". You all know what kind of clothes I'm talking about. Those midriff tees with the words "Princess" or "Angel" slapped on the front. Oh, and lets not forget those sweat pants with the word, "Sexy" printed on the ass. I guess no one told these whales that just because it says so on your clothes, doesn't mean you're either one of those things. There's a reason those shirts/pants don't come in quadruple XL. That reason is, you're fat and disgusting. Cover your fat ass up.
You're not Christina or Britney or Beyonce. If you want to wear tight clothes, then have the fucking deceny to go to a gym and work for the body that you pretend to have, instead of spending your time sitting on your fat ass, watching day time tv while picking the remains of your breakfast pizza out of that deep end you call a belly button.
But no, they don't want to work. They believe they have "inner beauty", because they spend all day watching Ricky Lake, and have adopted the "if you got it, flaunt it" mentality. Well, I hate to be the one to tell you this, Shamu, but inner beauty isn't going to get you laid, and it doesn't make you 400 pounds thinner. The only thing you "got" is a serious weight problem........you can't WEIGHT to start eating again.
I'm not saying that you have to have the "perfect" body, but tiny clothes were made for thin people. If you need the Jaws of Life to get you into your hot pants and tube top (shout out to polarbear_esq) then it WASN'T MADE FOR YOU. Get some decency, and cover up before I throw up....all over your fat ass.
Cheers.
P.S. I know I spelled "wait" wrong. If you didn't get the joke, you're a moron.