and the shit hit the fan
once again.. i an basically set my watch by when shit is gonna go bad for a day.. but if anyone can deal with an emotional person its me, i have practice... but for once in my life i dont have the words, the life experiance, the past pain or the means of communicating an answer.. i actually honestly dont know what to do to make this person feel better about their life.. and it scares me.. ive never had a friend where loving them, and being there for them, and givng them all the advice i could wasnt enough.. i've always been the one to help fix problems to mediate, and to get things working again.. i just dont know how to deal with people when they complain about how hard life is all the time but dont want to do one fucking thing to get rid of the things that hurt them the most.. my mom has been a big help to me latley about this shit.. i can only help so much and she makes me realize that.. that i cant change the world in one day and that things take time.. but patience has never been one of my values i want everything to happen automatically at once.. all together.. and have everything done already.. i'm tired of waiting for things to be perfect.. i cant wait anymore.. well i can but i dont want to.. there are times when i just want to throw up my hands and say fuck everything and everyone.. but i dont. i dont EVER give up on anything.. and in the end i dont know a situation where i didnt get what i want ..so yeah im gonna go with faith on this one that in the end ill get what i want.. and disearve for being there for people.. when all i really want is a thank you