one shitty ass day
so today has been weird..ive been all sorts of emotional.. going from angry to crying with the drop of a hat.. maybe its because ive been really sick, and am still really sick even though i'm trying to act like i'm better.. i havent been able to eat in days and that sucks, and i just have no energy what so ever.. even walking to the kitchen like kills me, or makes me feel like i'm gonna throw up.. i'm seriously dreading feedin the cat cause i dont think i can deal with the smell..i'm supossed to go to disneyland this weekend but now who knows, based on how i'm feeling right now its not looking like i'm gonna be in good enough shape to do that.. i hate it, i was sick on my birthday, when molly was here.. its like karma is getting my ass and i know what its for but i dont care.. there are so many things in my life right now that i am so confused about.. things are just fucking with my head that normally i dont let get to me, and its like all at once it came and got me and i cant ignore anything anymore.. i talked to my cousin yesterday for a while and he kinda cleared some shit up in my head.. hes always been good with the whole giving advice making me feel better thing..my mom and granny sold the house.. but dont have a new one to move into so i dont know whats going on there.. so who knows.. i want it to be hot outside already so i can just spend the day by the pool.. and i need to start packing cause i'm moving soon.. really its just too much stuff going on that i just dont want to do.. im in one of those, get in bed and stay there the rest of my life moods.. i really think its because i'm sick but who knows.. i hope thats all cause i cant deal with the whole downward spirial of life again.. really when it comes down to it.. i want to live my life myself.. i'm really tired of people telling me what to do.. i know people think they know the best for me, but seriously i'm a big girl and i'm capable of making my own decisions even if they arent the right ones..thats all for now i need to lay down...