Outta it..
So i think i'm going through another "depressed" period..i think it has a lot of do with being around things that remind me of mike, it does still bother me, and all i can wait for is the day where it doesnt hurt anymore..i havent cried though, which is weird cause when i was with him i got used to the whole this asshole makes me cry every other day thing, and now nothing, even if i want to, just to get a release it wont come. I havent heard from Palm Beach, which sucks. I really really want that job, and i want to be able to work for just a little bit before i leave for atlanta, you know? and there is another thing..i think having to leave after the visit is going to kill me, i mean ive never had to visit and not be able to stay and i think im just going to realize how much i miss having a normal life, with everyone i love and care about in a city i know like the back of my hand..things just sometimes seem so much easier when i'm there..the other day i was thinking about how much i really dont want to move back..but now all of a sudden i feel like i want to again, maybe its just this time of year, i mean on the 22nd of november last year is when i moved back, and that means that coming up is 1 year of knowing mike, and i dont even talk to him anymore, which it always bothers me that i dont talk to people anymore, i mean really how can you be so close to someone, and have them be such a big part of your life and visa versa, and then all of a sudden, nothing, no seeing eachother, no contact, no talking on the phone, no way to even know if they are ok..it worries me sometimes. There are other people other than mike that i think about, and everyone knows who that is..i think im just really missing everyone in atlanta, and missing everything about being with them all the time, but things are different and i know im going to go back and see how things have changed and ill be fine, but for now, i just sit back and wonder. I know ive changed a lot over the past 6 months that ive been away, ive been through things i never thought would happen, there have been a lot of bad times, that have changed me as a person, and good that had brought out a side of me that the people back home dont even know. So i wonder, is it leaving the place your familar with that changes you, or is everyone going to be different too? its a scary thought..i think i just need to see my friends, have fun time with my family, get LOTS AND LOTS of random booty, that is slightly planned because i know who i want it to be, and have a good week, of fun, then come back to reality because thats what las vegas is for me now, reality, and atlanta is my little dream land..if that makes any sense at all..but since i am feeling bummed i need to get out of the house, and thats what im going to do..