One last documentation of truth
Her words were enough to quell all the doubts.
“Why does he need to prove himself, when it’s obvious the man he is every day of his life is proof enough for me?”
She is my sister, that’s all; my childhood summed up in one person. I want to see her on fire with life. But I have to remind myself she is not me, her desires are not mine; neither of us is the better sister, we just are what we are.
Dwayne earned an A on the QCS and, subsequently, an OP of 6. I am bubbling over with pride. I’m excited over the prospect of him attending UQ and frittering away some quality time with my little younger brother over coffee, far away from Redcliffe and (terrible as it sounds) my family. He and I always had a sort of connection beyond them and I can’t wait to see what changes take place in him with the university lifestyle and all the challenges and opportunities that come with it.
My relationship with my father is in a state of complete disrepair.
My relationship with my mother grows ever stronger. Every day I understand and admire her more and I believe it’s the same for her. While speaking of my plans in Europe (which seem to be constantly evolving and becoming more serious and long-term) I was surprised to discover she believes I may end up making a life there and would be happy for me if I did. She knows this trip is likely to be the single most life-changing event for me…
As for me, since resigning from my job as a supervisor at Starbucks, I’m surprised as to how much things have changed around me. But then I remember once reading this book wherein the author was mulling over his relationship with his father.
Well into my teens I used to think he was so ignorant, but by the time I was 21 I was amazed as to how much he’d learned and how intelligent and worthy he had become in just a few short years.
Maybe my surroundings have not changed that much at all. Maybe it’s me that has changed.
My friendships have changed beyond recognition in the last couple of years and even in the last few weeks. Through my French course (which I adore f.y.i) I have met some brand new ones and look forward to getting to know them better. I have lost some close friends, one in a recent blaze of fury and lost some closeness to other friends, more subtly and agonisingly. Yet amongst those in my past there remain friends that are simply indispensable and will always be so. In spite of all cynicism born of reality, this I believe firmly.
A friend once said to me “Everything has to change,”
There is nothing new in that message, but I am only now realising its full weight. And suddenly change is a scent of jasmine in the air I breathe. I smell it like burnt grass, sunshine, chlorine and barbeques, like sunscreen and fresh cut fruits.
I’ve spent my life until now with a relatively skewed view on life and with a large part of who I really am waiting patiently in the shadows of my obstinacy.
I am throwing open the shutters and inviting myself out. And I’m very curious to meet me.
With that, I give you the very last entry in this journal, which has been my own electronic outlet and friend. I won’t forget it, but it’s time to move on. Somehow attempting to sum up the days and weeks and events and emotions that culminate life seems impossible and anything less seems a form of minimisation.
However, it doesn’t seem right to drop it without one last documentation of truth, for my own purpose.
Thank you all for baring witness.
“Why does he need to prove himself, when it’s obvious the man he is every day of his life is proof enough for me?”
She is my sister, that’s all; my childhood summed up in one person. I want to see her on fire with life. But I have to remind myself she is not me, her desires are not mine; neither of us is the better sister, we just are what we are.
Dwayne earned an A on the QCS and, subsequently, an OP of 6. I am bubbling over with pride. I’m excited over the prospect of him attending UQ and frittering away some quality time with my little younger brother over coffee, far away from Redcliffe and (terrible as it sounds) my family. He and I always had a sort of connection beyond them and I can’t wait to see what changes take place in him with the university lifestyle and all the challenges and opportunities that come with it.
My relationship with my father is in a state of complete disrepair.
My relationship with my mother grows ever stronger. Every day I understand and admire her more and I believe it’s the same for her. While speaking of my plans in Europe (which seem to be constantly evolving and becoming more serious and long-term) I was surprised to discover she believes I may end up making a life there and would be happy for me if I did. She knows this trip is likely to be the single most life-changing event for me…
As for me, since resigning from my job as a supervisor at Starbucks, I’m surprised as to how much things have changed around me. But then I remember once reading this book wherein the author was mulling over his relationship with his father.
Well into my teens I used to think he was so ignorant, but by the time I was 21 I was amazed as to how much he’d learned and how intelligent and worthy he had become in just a few short years.
Maybe my surroundings have not changed that much at all. Maybe it’s me that has changed.
My friendships have changed beyond recognition in the last couple of years and even in the last few weeks. Through my French course (which I adore f.y.i) I have met some brand new ones and look forward to getting to know them better. I have lost some close friends, one in a recent blaze of fury and lost some closeness to other friends, more subtly and agonisingly. Yet amongst those in my past there remain friends that are simply indispensable and will always be so. In spite of all cynicism born of reality, this I believe firmly.
A friend once said to me “Everything has to change,”
There is nothing new in that message, but I am only now realising its full weight. And suddenly change is a scent of jasmine in the air I breathe. I smell it like burnt grass, sunshine, chlorine and barbeques, like sunscreen and fresh cut fruits.
I’ve spent my life until now with a relatively skewed view on life and with a large part of who I really am waiting patiently in the shadows of my obstinacy.
I am throwing open the shutters and inviting myself out. And I’m very curious to meet me.
With that, I give you the very last entry in this journal, which has been my own electronic outlet and friend. I won’t forget it, but it’s time to move on. Somehow attempting to sum up the days and weeks and events and emotions that culminate life seems impossible and anything less seems a form of minimisation.
However, it doesn’t seem right to drop it without one last documentation of truth, for my own purpose.
Thank you all for baring witness.