Fic: Superbadfic X: It Slices, It Dices, It Surgerizes! (1/1)
Audience participation week on Superbadfic. Thanks to
divas_lamentfor pulling double duty this week by contributing this laughably awful bad fic and then beta reading for me.
Fic: Superbadfic X: It Slices, It Dices, It Surgerizes! (1/1)
Story by: Pen37, Divas_lament
Photos by: oxoniensis art, screencap paradise, jraunlimited, Disney Blog
Summary: After a reinvent renvent revenant zombie hunt goes wrong, Dean is stuck in the hospital. Unfortunately for him, Raven is a doctor and works on people. She surgerizes them.
Author: pen37 and divas_lament
Beta: divas_lament
Fandom: Supernatural
Classification: Gen
Characters: Sam, Dean,
pairings: None
The rest of the superbadfic series is here.
Rating: G
Warning: There are photos. May not be dialup friendly.
Once upton a time, there was a beatifull girl. Her name was Raven and she had so many problems. She had a terrible scar on her face, was missing a toe, her parents beat her when they weren’t ignoring her, and she ran her dog over wither awesome black Mercedes convertible on the way to her job that morning. She worked in a lab because she was supersmart and got 100 on her sats. Raven is a doctor and works on people. She surgerizes them.
Dean turned off the commercial for the teddy bear fabric softner and lay back on the hospital bed. He hated when a hunt went wrong. They'd been hunting revenants. Or had they been Reinvents? Renvents? Revenants? He never could keep that straight.
Hell with it. They were zombies.
Anyway, one of them turned on him, and the next thing he knew, he was strapped down in a hospital bed. And the ugly-ass nurse Betties here wouldn't even let him have his guns.
Which was really too bad. Because he was sure that there was something here. Something . . . sinister. Something that smelled like . . . angst . . . and bubble gum.
She was putting on her special black labcoat with her name dr. Mcjohnessonhamburgermanstone-Smith on the pocket. She does not have a white one becaue she hated all light colors. They did not match her soul. A nurse ran in all out of breath and covered with blood.
“OMG Raven! We need you now. This guy is dying. Only you can save him!!!!! The nurse told her. It was true. Raven was the best doctor ever in the history of the hospital and was wanted by every other hospital in the world for her mad skillz.
Dean prayed that it was a reaper. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her as she skulked into the room.
He could tell right away she was a sue. She was wearing a color that on anyone else might have been black. But on her it was pure balk. Balk lab coat. Balk nail Polish. Balk hair.
He could feel the balkness creeping into his soul from being near her.
She ran to the operating room without stopping tto wash her hans. There wasn’t any time to waist.
He wanted to get away from her when she came into the room and stood over him. She smiled in what he thought was supposed to be a reassuring way, but Dean couldn't keep from recoiling. He didn't want her touching him. She obviously hadn't washed her hands.
Suddenly, Sam stepped out from the bathroom, cocked the sawed-off, and fired.
The girl screamed, flickered, and then vanished in a spray of pink glitter.
“Dude? You okay?” Sam asked.
“They let people like that into a hospital?”
Sam nodded.
“That's downright unsanitary! We should call the state health board. ”
“What are you talking about?” Sam raised his eyebrows.
“I'm talking about this hospital. They've obviously got a sueage problem.”
A/N: . Next week is guest author week. I'll be bringing you a ficspam gem provided to me by
clarksmuse
Also? Before you comment about the misspelling of black and polish, I already know. I intentionally misspelled them balk and Polish. In this context, they're adverbs describing a Mary Sue (suisms).Therefore balk=black and Polish (a nationality)=polish (nail varnish).
The photo I used for the mary sue is the Disney/Snow White/Anne Leibovitz ad. I just thought this photo was reflective of the innermost mind of a sue.
Here is the whole story, as submitted to me by divas_lament. I think surgerizes is my new favorite adverb.
Once upton a time, there was a beatifull girl. Her name was Raven and she had so many problems. She had a terrible scar on her face, was missing a toe, her parents beat her when they weren’t ignoring her, and she ran her dog over wither awesome black Mercedes convertible on the way to her job that morning. She worked in a lab because she was supersmart and got 100 on her sats. Raven is a doctor and works on people. She surgerizes them.
She was putting on her special black labcoat with her name dr. Mcjohnessonhamburgermanstone-Smith on the pocket. She does not have a white one becaue she hated all light colors. They did not match her soul. A nurse ran in all out of breath and covered with blood.
“OMG Raven! We need you now. This guy is dying. Only you can save him!!!!! The nurse told her. It was true. Raven was the best doctor ever in the history of the hospital and was wanted by every other hospital in the world for her mad skillz.
She ran to the operating room without stopping tto wash her hans. There wasn’t any time to waist. Raven began operatin on the man and within a few minutes she had fixed the bleeding. He was going to live.
The next day she went into his room to check on him. The patient’s name was Dean Winchester. His brother had told her that they had been fighting a Winnebago. He said they did not normally tell strangers but he could tell that she was different.
“You saved my life. the man in the bed spoke. His face had a couple of scratches but they would be fine. He had too handsome of a face to scar.
“Yeah. Raven said back nicely with a sunshiny smile on her face.
“You’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen.
‘I’ve got problems
‘me too.”
‘I can fix you!
‘we can fix each other!
The next day she left with her sexy patient and his brother to go fight evil. They fell in love and got married and had six kids all named after different people that he knew that died and her dead dog came with them after they resurrected him.
ThE ENd.
R&R HO’S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO FLEMAZZZzZ!!! Or DIEEEEEEEEEEEE. BTW, DEAN IS MINE U JELUS SKANKSSSSSSSSSSS GO CRY TO UR MOM N STUF CUZ HE’S MINEE (and raven’s LOLZ!)
divas_lamentfor pulling double duty this week by contributing this laughably awful bad fic and then beta reading for me.
Fic: Superbadfic X: It Slices, It Dices, It Surgerizes! (1/1)
Story by: Pen37, Divas_lament
Photos by: oxoniensis art, screencap paradise, jraunlimited, Disney Blog
Summary: After a reinvent renvent revenant zombie hunt goes wrong, Dean is stuck in the hospital. Unfortunately for him, Raven is a doctor and works on people. She surgerizes them.
Author: pen37 and divas_lament
Beta: divas_lament
Fandom: Supernatural
Classification: Gen
Characters: Sam, Dean,
pairings: None
The rest of the superbadfic series is here.
Rating: G
Warning: There are photos. May not be dialup friendly.
Once upton a time, there was a beatifull girl. Her name was Raven and she had so many problems. She had a terrible scar on her face, was missing a toe, her parents beat her when they weren’t ignoring her, and she ran her dog over wither awesome black Mercedes convertible on the way to her job that morning. She worked in a lab because she was supersmart and got 100 on her sats. Raven is a doctor and works on people. She surgerizes them.
Dean turned off the commercial for the teddy bear fabric softner and lay back on the hospital bed. He hated when a hunt went wrong. They'd been hunting revenants. Or had they been Reinvents? Renvents? Revenants? He never could keep that straight.
Hell with it. They were zombies.
Anyway, one of them turned on him, and the next thing he knew, he was strapped down in a hospital bed. And the ugly-ass nurse Betties here wouldn't even let him have his guns.
Which was really too bad. Because he was sure that there was something here. Something . . . sinister. Something that smelled like . . . angst . . . and bubble gum.
She was putting on her special black labcoat with her name dr. Mcjohnessonhamburgermanstone-Smith on the pocket. She does not have a white one becaue she hated all light colors. They did not match her soul. A nurse ran in all out of breath and covered with blood.
“OMG Raven! We need you now. This guy is dying. Only you can save him!!!!! The nurse told her. It was true. Raven was the best doctor ever in the history of the hospital and was wanted by every other hospital in the world for her mad skillz.
Dean prayed that it was a reaper. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her as she skulked into the room.
He could tell right away she was a sue. She was wearing a color that on anyone else might have been black. But on her it was pure balk. Balk lab coat. Balk nail Polish. Balk hair.
He could feel the balkness creeping into his soul from being near her.
She ran to the operating room without stopping tto wash her hans. There wasn’t any time to waist.
He wanted to get away from her when she came into the room and stood over him. She smiled in what he thought was supposed to be a reassuring way, but Dean couldn't keep from recoiling. He didn't want her touching him. She obviously hadn't washed her hands.
Suddenly, Sam stepped out from the bathroom, cocked the sawed-off, and fired.
The girl screamed, flickered, and then vanished in a spray of pink glitter.
“Dude? You okay?” Sam asked.
“They let people like that into a hospital?”
Sam nodded.
“That's downright unsanitary! We should call the state health board. ”
“What are you talking about?” Sam raised his eyebrows.
“I'm talking about this hospital. They've obviously got a sueage problem.”
A/N: . Next week is guest author week. I'll be bringing you a ficspam gem provided to me by
clarksmuse
Also? Before you comment about the misspelling of black and polish, I already know. I intentionally misspelled them balk and Polish. In this context, they're adverbs describing a Mary Sue (suisms).Therefore balk=black and Polish (a nationality)=polish (nail varnish).
The photo I used for the mary sue is the Disney/Snow White/Anne Leibovitz ad. I just thought this photo was reflective of the innermost mind of a sue.
Here is the whole story, as submitted to me by divas_lament. I think surgerizes is my new favorite adverb.
Once upton a time, there was a beatifull girl. Her name was Raven and she had so many problems. She had a terrible scar on her face, was missing a toe, her parents beat her when they weren’t ignoring her, and she ran her dog over wither awesome black Mercedes convertible on the way to her job that morning. She worked in a lab because she was supersmart and got 100 on her sats. Raven is a doctor and works on people. She surgerizes them.
She was putting on her special black labcoat with her name dr. Mcjohnessonhamburgermanstone-Smith on the pocket. She does not have a white one becaue she hated all light colors. They did not match her soul. A nurse ran in all out of breath and covered with blood.
“OMG Raven! We need you now. This guy is dying. Only you can save him!!!!! The nurse told her. It was true. Raven was the best doctor ever in the history of the hospital and was wanted by every other hospital in the world for her mad skillz.
She ran to the operating room without stopping tto wash her hans. There wasn’t any time to waist. Raven began operatin on the man and within a few minutes she had fixed the bleeding. He was going to live.
The next day she went into his room to check on him. The patient’s name was Dean Winchester. His brother had told her that they had been fighting a Winnebago. He said they did not normally tell strangers but he could tell that she was different.
“You saved my life. the man in the bed spoke. His face had a couple of scratches but they would be fine. He had too handsome of a face to scar.
“Yeah. Raven said back nicely with a sunshiny smile on her face.
“You’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen.
‘I’ve got problems
‘me too.”
‘I can fix you!
‘we can fix each other!
The next day she left with her sexy patient and his brother to go fight evil. They fell in love and got married and had six kids all named after different people that he knew that died and her dead dog came with them after they resurrected him.
ThE ENd.
R&R HO’S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO FLEMAZZZzZ!!! Or DIEEEEEEEEEEEE. BTW, DEAN IS MINE U JELUS SKANKSSSSSSSSSSS GO CRY TO UR MOM N STUF CUZ HE’S MINEE (and raven’s LOLZ!)