do you see me?

[pelonomi]

I wish you would look at me. I wanted to ask you what the matter was tonight when you left. My heart needed to know if your haste was just urgency or if it was anxiety. Our eyes didn't meet for long enough for me to tell. I want to hold you in my gaze and search you. I wan to search you and find myself in you. I want to know if you could be "the one". But I don't know if its even safe to open that can of worms. My man-fast is still going and I am trying to make sense of things. I want to choose my saviour over the one who caused the fall of mankind - the first man himself: Adam. I used to worship Adam, a man, but now I am having my "after moment" with God I know I need Jesus in my life. My saviour. I don't know if there's room for us in the universe. US as in you and me together. Maybe I should pray about it. I don't know how to pray about boys without feeling stupid. Like God would say, I'll be with you just after I finish with world peace and starvation. Uh - actually, I think broken nails is just before your boy issue so if you'd like to take a seat...... Of course I know that's not how God is. He is worried about my baby toe just as much as he is about my heart.

My heart beats loudly in my ears when I see you and when you see me back. Maybe its a phase. Lets just skip to the chase - just tell me if you are the one so I can take my heart out my ears and put it back in teh box to which it belongs.