Happy Galentine's Day
Not so relevant to this post, except that it's a story about a woman who is awesome: against my better judgment I got antsy and posted fic on a Saturday evening, even though we all know that's a bad time to do these things if you want anyone to see it. So in case you're interested and missed it, A Fairer House than Prose (or on DW) is my long-
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Susan had never planned to grow old with someone else. There were plenty of times when she wouldn't have bet on growing old, period, and each time she gets a new ache or pain that makes her want to complain, she thinks of Marcus and feels grateful and guilty. But when, as a younger woman, she thought of the expanse of her life and imagined how she might spend all of it, she never imagined the quiet consistency of another person spending it with her.
Susan's loves had always been transient: her mother and brother, both gone too soon. A string of incidental lovers in her youth. Then Talia. Beautiful, infuriating, surprising, wonderful Talia, whom Susan loved for perhaps a few months and knew she loved for only a few days before it was over. She might have loved Marcus, if she'd let herself, and after losing Talia and Marcus in such quick succession, she made a quiet resolve-which she's kept-not to fall in love again.
She's done a lot of things since directing traffic on Babylon 5, but that still feels like the time that defines her. Those few years defined the lives of all who were there, in one way or another. But Susan also felt at home on Babylon 5 in a way that she'd never felt at home anywhere else. People moved. Ships in, ships out, always something new going on. Susan was a transitory person, and Babylon 5 suited her; it was exactly why she took care not to stay too long.
Susan spent the first 60 years of her life in transit, but she's spent the past 30 sitting still. She kept busy as head of the Rangers, and even in retirement has remained an active political and military voice in the Alliance. But her home is on Minbar, and her days have a comfortable but flexible routine to them that her younger self could not have imagined.
And she is growing old with Delenn. When Delenn asked her to lead the Rangers, alongside Delenn herself serving as president of the Alliance, Susan was worried about entering a relationship that was so clearly a partnership. Susan's work relationships were hierarchical, her friendships were broad and group-oriented, and her romantic relationships were invariably short-lived. She wasn't sure how to be co-head of the galaxy, especially in a partnership that had, for the whole of its existence, been occupied by a married couple.
It's easier than she expected. Susan had always liked Delenn but had never expected to know her like this, to share space with her every day for decades, to argue and agree with her, to be her confidante and dearest friend. One evening, as they laughed over a thirty-year-old inside joke, Susan realized that she had been with Delenn almost ten years longer than John had. It's not the same thing-Susan has never fallen in love with Delenn, or vice versa, though they do love one another-but it is something important and something Susan never expected to want.
Susan always leaves Delenn to her solitary mornings, when she watches the sun rise with her memories of John. Each evening, Susan and Delenn watch the sun set together.
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It's a lovely portrait of Susan. So apt and undramatic and true. I love your comments about the way a partnership - a friendship without hierarchy or group dynamics, terrifies her.
And accidentally finding that, through work again, is awesome. GIRLS SHOULD BE FRIENDS ON TV MORE. And I love this - thank you so much. Galentine's fic indeed.
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GIRLS SHOULD BE FRIENDS ON TV MORE
I feel like I should have this tattooed somewhere.
*hugs*
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