(no subject)
i'm 8 minutes away from my 23rd birthday. it's insane how fast time has passed me by. my life is flashing before my eyes. a decade ago i was running (well, walking) away from home to jassmin's without even knowing where she lived. i wanted to commit suicide. i hated myself. all i wanted was love and to feel like i belonged somewhere. 10 years later and i still want those things (minus the suicide on my good days).
i hope this is my year to improve. i'm just hoping because i know setting high standards for myself means paving my path to failure. i hate promising things to myself and to other people because i end up going back on my word.
4 minutes. i feel like i'm waiting for a magical change to happen at midnight. a sudden burst of wisdom or maturity. god knows i need both! i'm actually nervous to be 23. maybe i'll just regress another year over night. who knows, maybe my next entry will be a bunch of mumbo jumbo because i forgot how to write.
happy birthday to me. how pathetic is it that i'm documenting this on livejournal, while i eat a hot pocket doused in ranch and Louisiana hot sauce. nobody in my house is awake. my boyfriend is neglecting me (again). my pregnant best friend is sleeping. i guess at the end of the day, i only have myself. as sad as that sounds, its the truth.
correction: my brother and sister surprised me. they totally saved me from offing myself. juuuuust kidding...
i hope this is my year to improve. i'm just hoping because i know setting high standards for myself means paving my path to failure. i hate promising things to myself and to other people because i end up going back on my word.
4 minutes. i feel like i'm waiting for a magical change to happen at midnight. a sudden burst of wisdom or maturity. god knows i need both! i'm actually nervous to be 23. maybe i'll just regress another year over night. who knows, maybe my next entry will be a bunch of mumbo jumbo because i forgot how to write.
happy birthday to me. how pathetic is it that i'm documenting this on livejournal, while i eat a hot pocket doused in ranch and Louisiana hot sauce. nobody in my house is awake. my boyfriend is neglecting me (again). my pregnant best friend is sleeping. i guess at the end of the day, i only have myself. as sad as that sounds, its the truth.
correction: my brother and sister surprised me. they totally saved me from offing myself. juuuuust kidding...