(no subject)
i have so much to say, but i'll probably forget now that i remembered to update this shit.
let's begin with the fact that i don't know what the hell to do with myself. i don't want to live in el paso OR san antonio. i feel like i don't belong anywhere. i don't know where to plant my roots. el paso is ghetto and i know (and hate) everyone, and san antonio is ghetto and i don't know anyone. i don't want to change my mind once adam moves here and it turns out his move was useless. i don't want to move back to el paso and give up on whatever my dreams are (i don't know what they are). i don't know what i want to study. i don't know where i want to work. i don't know where i want to live. i don't know with who i want to live. i don't know who i want to cut ties with. i don't know who i can trust.
my aunt is a FUCKTARD with a capital F, capital U, capital C, capital K, capital T, capital A, capital R, and capital D. who in the universe does she think she is? what makes her think i will take her psychotic ass opinion into consideration, when i don't listen to my very own parents?! and to have the balls to tell me i am a bad influence for her daughters! BAHAHAHAHA! lady, you MOONED your 14 year old daughter. excuse me for taking you as seriously as i take a fucking piece of shit seriously! no wonder they don't respect you. you're psychotic, indecisive, bipolar, and way to eager to discuss your chronic constipation with whoever SEEMS to be listening. i only WISH i could tell you I DON'T GIVE A HOLY/SATANIC FUCK ABOUT YOU! but my mom raised me better than that. speaking of my mom, she's the ONLY wise and classy woman in our family. THE ONLY ONE. so get the idea of trying to be like her out of your psychotic mind. P.S. learn to read correctly. gourmet is definitely NOT pronounced GURR-MAY.
on to another rant. why is it that morons have their lives just FALL together. i'm a damn good person. i don't lie, cheat, steal, fuck people over, or anything horrific like other people. i don't have any problems with anyone. i don't fuck all these guys and have all sorts of children. i'm faithful to my boyfriend. i'm a family girl. i don't even go out anymore. good things are NOT happening. things aren't falling into place like they need to be. it's not fair. i don't have kids or stds. why should i be the one suffering?
enough of that. my hair is long-ish. well, longer than i've had it in years. i don't even have bangs anymore, but i'm thinking about getting them, even though i know i will end up regretting it!!!!! that's the story of my life. i wish i didn't know regret. unfortunately we're on a first name basis. i hate that i already feel regret for decisions i haven't even made yet. for example, 50% of me wants tattoos SOOOO bad, but the other 50% of me is already regretting them. so what do i do? live for the moment and say FUCK IT, i'm getting a tattoo!!! or do i suck it up and never get one. ohhhhh what a difficult life i lead.
to say my new years eve sucked asshole would be the understatement of the millennium. spent it getting my heart broken and shit on a few times in the span of 2 hours. it's definitely a new years eve to FORGET but seeing as how i just documented it, that will NEVER happen. i hope starting the new year off shitty means my year will rule! cuz last year adam and i started it off....um.......awesomely and we had a shittastic year. i guess that's the optimist in me trying to come up with some kind of solution to my troubles. whatever is clever.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeelp, i'm outties.
let's begin with the fact that i don't know what the hell to do with myself. i don't want to live in el paso OR san antonio. i feel like i don't belong anywhere. i don't know where to plant my roots. el paso is ghetto and i know (and hate) everyone, and san antonio is ghetto and i don't know anyone. i don't want to change my mind once adam moves here and it turns out his move was useless. i don't want to move back to el paso and give up on whatever my dreams are (i don't know what they are). i don't know what i want to study. i don't know where i want to work. i don't know where i want to live. i don't know with who i want to live. i don't know who i want to cut ties with. i don't know who i can trust.
my aunt is a FUCKTARD with a capital F, capital U, capital C, capital K, capital T, capital A, capital R, and capital D. who in the universe does she think she is? what makes her think i will take her psychotic ass opinion into consideration, when i don't listen to my very own parents?! and to have the balls to tell me i am a bad influence for her daughters! BAHAHAHAHA! lady, you MOONED your 14 year old daughter. excuse me for taking you as seriously as i take a fucking piece of shit seriously! no wonder they don't respect you. you're psychotic, indecisive, bipolar, and way to eager to discuss your chronic constipation with whoever SEEMS to be listening. i only WISH i could tell you I DON'T GIVE A HOLY/SATANIC FUCK ABOUT YOU! but my mom raised me better than that. speaking of my mom, she's the ONLY wise and classy woman in our family. THE ONLY ONE. so get the idea of trying to be like her out of your psychotic mind. P.S. learn to read correctly. gourmet is definitely NOT pronounced GURR-MAY.
on to another rant. why is it that morons have their lives just FALL together. i'm a damn good person. i don't lie, cheat, steal, fuck people over, or anything horrific like other people. i don't have any problems with anyone. i don't fuck all these guys and have all sorts of children. i'm faithful to my boyfriend. i'm a family girl. i don't even go out anymore. good things are NOT happening. things aren't falling into place like they need to be. it's not fair. i don't have kids or stds. why should i be the one suffering?
enough of that. my hair is long-ish. well, longer than i've had it in years. i don't even have bangs anymore, but i'm thinking about getting them, even though i know i will end up regretting it!!!!! that's the story of my life. i wish i didn't know regret. unfortunately we're on a first name basis. i hate that i already feel regret for decisions i haven't even made yet. for example, 50% of me wants tattoos SOOOO bad, but the other 50% of me is already regretting them. so what do i do? live for the moment and say FUCK IT, i'm getting a tattoo!!! or do i suck it up and never get one. ohhhhh what a difficult life i lead.
to say my new years eve sucked asshole would be the understatement of the millennium. spent it getting my heart broken and shit on a few times in the span of 2 hours. it's definitely a new years eve to FORGET but seeing as how i just documented it, that will NEVER happen. i hope starting the new year off shitty means my year will rule! cuz last year adam and i started it off....um.......awesomely and we had a shittastic year. i guess that's the optimist in me trying to come up with some kind of solution to my troubles. whatever is clever.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeelp, i'm outties.