(no subject)
This was my contribution to the Christmas exchange 2009. Written for my darling strssna, hence the unusual genre :)
Title: Forever Now
Author: Peki
Pairing(s): Tom/Bill
Rating: NC17
Warnings: twincest
Summary: Give me your hand/I’ll build you castles made of sand/Anyplace, anywhere, anytime.
Author's notes: Thank you to remy_jen for the beta job and amythystluna for betaing and contributing the beautiful artwork!
“You know, just because the receptionist said that you could round the island on foot doesn’t mean that we should.”
“Why not?”
Tom should’ve known that protesting was useless. Once Bill had made up his mind, there was no stopping him, and now he was walking swiftly up the sandy path that led from the beach into the forest. At the edge of the woods, he stopped and looked back at Tom over his shoulder. “I wanted to go to the spa, but you said you needed action or you’d go nuts. And we’ve never gone hiking across the island. Come on!”
Tom followed, grumbling. When he’d said that, he’d pictured a wholly different kind of action, and since when did Bill enjoy nature walks, anyway? “You don’t go hiking half naked and without shoes,” he called after his twin, but Bill had already vanished between the trees. “Bill!”
“Just pretend we’re on Lost if that makes it more exciting,” he heard Bill’s voice from somewhere ahead, and he broke through the shrubs to find his brother standing under a coconut tree, his hands on his hips. “Wow, look at those nuts!”
He really made it too easy sometimes. Tom leered playfully. “I could’ve shown you some impressive nuts back at the house.”
Bill covered his face with one hand and groaned. “Your jokes have been better.”
“I’m on vacation,” Tom shrugged. “Hey, at least I try to amuse you.”
Bill glanced at him, chagrined. “Is this really so bad? Look how pretty it is out here!” He spread out his long, skinny arms as if he wanted to embrace the palm trees, the warm, sandy ground, the birds in the trees and the lizards darting through the underbrush. “Ah!” he breathed deeply. “I love it here.”
Tom watched him with amusement as he spun around in a circle, his face tilted up at the glimpses of sky and clouds between the crowns of the palm trees. Bill was wearing that goofy, contagious grin that pulled Tom in and swept him along with the irresistible current of his twin’s happiness and, in spite of himself, he smiled. If it took trudging through the forest to keep that expression on Bill’s face, trudge he would.
He just really wished he was wearing shoes, and something more practical than swimming trunks.
“You’ll get dizzy,” he pointed out when Bill continued to spin like a manic ballerina figurine in a music box.
Bill twirled once more and then fell into Tom’s arms, giddy and breathless. His arms wound around Tom’s neck and held on tight, and Tom could smell the salty sea on his skin, the sand and the sun. He bowed his head over Bill’s shoulder and brushed Bill’s neck with the tip of his nose, tongue sneaking out to catch a taste. Bill’s skin was warm and a bit moist with sweat, and he tasted just as good as he smelled.
Bill squirmed, ticklish. “When we’re old and done with everything,” he laughed, “can we move here? Please? We could have a hut on the beach and go for a swim at sunset and sit in the sand eating coconuts--”
“What is it with you and nuts today?” Tom murmured.
Bill shrugged, his bony shoulder hitting Tom in the nose. Grumbling, Tom let him go. “I just like them.” Bill smiled brightly, then snatched Tom’s hand and dragged him further into the woods. “Come on, let’s go exploring, I want to see the sights!”
“There are no sights, just sand and the sea and coconuts. You can see all that from the house,” Tom coaxed. Maybe he could lure Bill back to their beach house yet, which stood just a tempting hundred meters off the shore at the end of a pier, the waves rippling gently against the wooden posts that elevated it above sea level. It was a beautiful little hiding place, with a bathroom overlooking the ocean and a large carved bed with crisp, cool sheets and discreet room service. Cool drinks and a hot tub were calling their names, and Tom wanted nothing more than to go back there and indulge in the luxury of their alone time. Days to steal away like this were too rare. Tom wanted them all, every precious minute. “Let’s just be lazy.”
“Lazy, huh?” Bill gave him a shrewd look. “Sure. Later. Come along.” And off he skipped; Tom trailed after him, muttering under his breath about stupid little brothers and their stupid ideas.
The path wound through the forest in a zig-zagging line. Tom sidestepped tree roots and vines, taking care not to stumble into anything nasty. Bill was accident prone enough for them both; if something happened, Tom would have to carry him back halfway across the island. He glared at a spot between his brother’s shoulder blades as Bill walked ahead of him. Sometimes, he really questioned his twin’s sanity.
It wasn’t until they had reached the edge of the forest that Bill stopped. Before them, the woods opened up onto a beach overlooking a small lagoon. The island’s coastline curved and dipped, curling in on itself to form an almost-perfect white half circle against the backdrop of the deep blue sea, like a crescent moon hanging low in the early evening sky. In the distance, where the water turned from brilliant aquamarine to dark sapphire, waves crested against a sandbar and then flowed gently towards the shore to lap at the sandy beach. The dark, wet sand gradually became smooth and powder-soft further along the beach, where they now stood in the shade of the palm trees. The lagoon lay abandoned and silent save for the murmur of the ocean and the occasional cry of a bird. They were all alone.
Tom breathed deeply. He was glad now that they had chosen the loneliest, most remote island for their vacation, even if party opportunities were severely limited. He glanced at his twin. He had Bill with him; who’d ever need any other entertainment?
“Oh, it’s beautiful!” Bill clapped his hands, a grin spreading across his face. “See, I told you! Let’s go skinny dipping!”
Snorting, Tom followed as his twin ran down the beach, dragging his feet through the fine sand. The air was warm and dryer out here than in the forest; it felt like a heated caress on Tom’s bare skin. “Do you want to end up naked in Bild?” he called after Bill.
“We’re all alone.”
Tom glanced doubtfully up and down the lonely beach, and when he looked back, Bill was dropping his swimming trunks.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Bill had certain exhibitionist tendencies; Tom had known this since they’d been little kids whose favorite way to annoy their mother was to promptly strip off all their clothes after she’d just finished dressing them, making it impossible to tell them apart. Tom had grown out of that at some point, but Bill hadn’t, and his face was just as devious now as Tom remembered it to be back then, albeit for wholly different reasons.
Tom looked back at the forest, half-expecting paparazzi to jump out from behind a palm tree. They were all by themselves, blissfully alone, but his paranoid habits had long become second nature. He frowned at Bill, who was splashing his feet in the shallow water, naked and carefree and grinning like a lunatic.
“What?” he asked all-too-innocently when he noticed Tom’s look. “I like a seamless tan.”
“What for?” Tom asked. “Who’s going to see your ass?”
Bill’s lashes fluttered coyly. “You never know.”
Tom knew he was being played. He knew it, and still he couldn’t help the hot rush of jealousy that surged up inside and burned in his chest. He glared at Bill from narrowed eyes, saw his twin’s impish smile turn knowing, smug, and he was in the water and after Bill in a heartbeat, giving him no time to evade Tom’s grabby hands.
Bill yelped as his twin flung himself at him; their bodies connected with a wet smack and they both went tumbling back into the clear blue water. His scream was swallowed up by the sea and for a few seconds peace and quiet reigned in paradise before the pair came back up again, coughing and spluttering.
“Let me go let me go let me goooo!” Bill squealed, laughing and kicking his feet, stirring up the water around them until it bubbled and fizzed as if the heat of their bodies was bringing it to boiling point.
Tom grinned. He had Bill caught with his back pressed to Tom’s chest and his arms twisted back uselessly, and if there was one thing Bill hated, it was being helpless. Carefully, avoiding the flailing limbs, Tom let go of one arm, only to seize the small silver ring dangling off Bill’s left nipple.
All air seemed to leave Bill’s lungs all at once. He froze, breathless.
“Let’s try again,” Tom said pleasantly, twisting the ring just so. “Be good.”
Bill hissed like an angry king cobra. “If you rip off my nipple, you’ll have to give me one of yours for a transplant,” he threatened. “I’m not walking around nipple-less.”
Tom raised an eyebrow. “Who’s going to see your nipples anyway?”
Bill opened his mouth for a cheeky reply, but seemed to think better of it when Tom pulled a little harder on his nipple ring. He gasped quietly.
“You like it,” Tom stated without the shadow of a doubt. He smirked. Even if he hadn’t known his twin so well, the clear water washing around Bill’s bare hips left little to the imagination.
“So what if I do?” Bill said indignantly. He tilted his head back against Tom’s shoulder and fixed him with the full force of his glare, naked, wet and pissy. He looked so adorably silly that Tom had to bite his lip to hide a grin. “Would you rather I didn’t?”
Tom would have given up anything on this earth, anything at all; just this he couldn’t live without. “Nah,” he said, low. He tugged at the small silver ring, more gently now. “I like it too.”
He did; he did, and that was why, even though he knew Bill inside out and better than anyone, should’ve seen revenge coming, he let his guard down. Transfixed, he stared into Bill’s beautiful, ferocious face, let his eyes trace the path of a water droplet rolling down his neck and zero in on the tiny brown nipple with its shiny ring, and the moment of distraction was all that Bill needed.
A big splash of salt water hit Tom in the face. He raised his arms reflexively to shield his eyes, and Bill spun away. Another wave washed over him; Tom yelped, stumbled back blindly, and then a hand clasped his hip and slim, insistent fingers slipped inside his swimming trunks to grasp him firmly.
Tom went very still. Bill had him, quite literally, by the balls; he wouldn’t hurt him, of that Tom was sure, but Bill could very well reduce him to a quivering mess with a few well-measured strokes of his talented hand. Tom wasn’t ready to yield yet, no matter that a certain part of him had sprung to attention and was very eager to see how this little game would play out if Tom shifted just a bit, resisted just a little.
“Let go,” he breathed, fingers shaky now on Bill’s nipple ring, “and I’ll let you go.”
Bill smirked. “Aw, but do you really want that?” He tightened his grip slightly and Tom felt a shiver race through him and settle, achingly, at the pit of his stomach.
“Yes?”
Bill’s eyes flashed. “Liar,” he said fondly and closed the small distance between them, his free hand wrapping around the back of Tom’s neck. “God, I love you,” and then his lips were on Tom’s, his tongue stud was flicking against the seam of his mouth and, for a few blissful seconds, Tom gave in to the hard kiss, pushing back at Bill with equal fervor.
It was Bill who moaned then, always so easily swept away with the storm of his desires. His other arm wrapped around Tom’s shoulders as one leg curled around the back of Tom’s knee, bringing them closer together. Tom slid his hands down Bill’s sides along his narrow hips, reached around to palm his ass and, moaning into Tom’s mouth, Bill brought his other knee up to squeeze Tom’s hips desperately between his thighs. They were both hard now, and when their erections bumped together, Bill grinding up against Tom’s groin, Tom saw stars and almost, almost forgot any coherent thought.
He broke the kiss to stare up, panting, into Bill’s dark eyes and smiled. Then, as if in slow motion, he let them both fall forward and into the warm water. Bill screeched.
They were partners, lovers, friends, but they were also brothers who had beaten each other up with frying pans when they were little; the instincts were still there, buried only loosely under the layers of newer, more intricate emotions. Tom surfaced, gasping, and flung a handful of wet, sticky sand at the thin chest of his twin, who had just come up a few meters away, flailing and coughing.
Bill shrieked in shock. He looked down at the brown splatter on his chest, then up into Tom’s laughing face. An unholy glint sparked in his eyes. “You want it? You got it.”
“Bring it on,” Tom taunted, and then a wave of water came at him and he went under again.
Coughing out a laugh, he came up with more sand clutched in both fists, and suddenly Bill was close… close enough to dump the handfuls right on his head to mess up his twin’s precious hair, and Bill screamed in outrage and flung himself at Tom, and they both tumbled back into the water.
Tiny white bubbles prickled across Tom’s skin as they rushed to the surface. Bill’s hands were tight on his shoulders but he evaded Tom’s grip, slippery and lithe like a merman; randomly, Tom thought of their visit with Ingrid and Klaus, that elderly couple, and he burst out laughing and inhaled a mouthful of sea water.
Choking, he struggled to break through the mirror-like surface and came up coughing violently. Bill’s grip hadn’t loosened, but now he was pulling Tom up to stand on his feet and his hands were steadying him, their dynamic too long-practiced to not feel instinctively when a fight was over. He smacked Tom’s back hard.
“You’re not supposed to breathe underwater,” he told Tom as if that was a rare pearl of wisdom.
Tom tried to retort something snide, but all that came out was a wet cough.
“There, there,” Bill said in the tones of their octogenarian grandmother. He rubbed Tom’s bare shoulders gently. “What were you doing, silly? Did you want to drown? I still need you.” His arms came around Tom’s back, squeezing hard, and Tom gratefully coughed up some more water and clung.
“I…thought of…Ingrid,” he forced out. His mouth felt parched with the salty taste of the sea water. “That…mermaid thing?”
Bill’s chuckle reverberated through them both, pressed together as they were. “And you were supposed to be a pirate. How could you be a pirate if you’d drown so easily?”
“All your fault,” Tom grumbled.
“Sorry,” Bill said cheerfully. He pulled back and studied Tom’s face. “All right now? You’re purple.”
Tom affected a frown. “I’ve been better.”
“Aw, do you want me to kiss the boo-boo?” Bill cooed. “Where does it hurt?”
It was only fair: after all, Tom’s sore throat was Bill’s fault. Tom pointed vaguely at his neck. “There.”
Obligingly, Bill leaned down for a kiss. He dipped his tongue into the hollow at the base of Tom’s neck, lips whispering over his collar bones and up along his Adam’s apple. His tongue left a wet trail along the line of Tom’s throat. Tom swallowed hard, and Bill chuckled against his skin. His lips had reached the sharp angle of Tom’s jaw; he nipped him there playfully before moving back along the side of his neck, his hair tickling Tom’s cheek as he leaned down and sucked soft skin between his teeth.
Tom shuddered. At home, he couldn’t afford to have visible love bites for fear of stupid questions; he didn’t want the whole world to think that he’d let some girl mark him. That was a privilege and a rare pleasure, reserved for the times when it was just them and they could still be whatever they wanted to be. Bill dragged his tongue stud across his skin and Tom gasped out a sobbing breath, hands coming up to cradle Bill’s head tenderly.
Bill pulled away slightly. He nudged the small purple bruise he’d left on Tom’s neck with his nose. “Where else does it hurt?” he asked slyly.
“Here.” Tom touched his chest, which still hurt from all the coughing. He didn’t even remotely care that he was delivering himself voluntarily into the hands of the greatest tease he had ever had the pleasure of knowing. Bill was just too fucking good, and besides, Tom could always pay him back for his sins later: tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. This, he thought joyfully as he looked down to watch Bill press his lips against his chest, this would be forever.
“Hmm,” Bill purred. “All better now?” His fingers were at the waistband of Tom’s shorts, toying with the drawstring that kept them hanging precariously low on Tom’s hips while his mouth traced the lines of smooth, hard abs.
Tom cleared his throat. He sounded hoarse when he spoke. “Uh, you know, while you’re down there…”
His twin’s snicker tickled Tom’s stomach. One hand dipped below the water and wandered lazily up the inside of Tom’s thigh. “Yes?”
“Uhh,” Tom made; the back of Bill’s hand was rubbing against his balls, making the muscles in Tom’s stomach twitch and his toes curl into the slick sand of the ocean ground. Tom squeezed his eyes shut and saw the bright glittering reflections of the sun caressing the sea burned into the inside of his eyelids. White lights flickered before his eyes, and when Bill touched him more firmly, with purpose, they exploded like fireworks.
“Why are you still wearing pants?” Bill complained, and promptly yanked them down to float around Tom’s knees in the shallow water. Tom’s cock twitched as Bill wrapped a hand around the base. Tom breathed deeply through his nose, willing himself not to start thrusting up into that tight fist that enveloped him so perfectly, and then suddenly the hand was replaced by a hot pair of lips and Tom almost lost it.
Bill’s chuckle hummed through him, prickled across his skin. The hard little stud of Bill’s piercing swirled around and around the sensitive head of his cock, and Tom’s legs would’ve given out from under him if not for the hands on his hips, steadying him. “So fucking delicious,” Bill murmured, coming up for air. His thumbs flicked back and forth over Tom’s hips, dipped into the hollows below his hipbones. “So hot.”
Tom squeezed his eyes shut. If Bill didn’t stop talking in that voice and take mercy on him soon, he would…he would…
He didn’t know what he would, as Bill chose that moment to flatten his tongue against the underside of Tom’s shaft. He dragged that damned tongue stud upwards in a tantalizing stroke, and Tom spat out a curse that sounded more like a plea.
“Fuck.”
“That’s the idea.”
Bill was on his feet again in one fluid motion, his lips seeking Tom’s hungrily. He tasted of salt water and cock when he thrust his tongue into Tom’s mouth, and tasting himself on Bill’s lips finally made Tom’s composure crack.
“Come on,” he muttered, hands pulling at his twin, pulling him towards the shore. “Come on, come on, I want--”
Bill laughed quietly. “What do you want?”
“You,” Tom bit out.
They stumbled out of the water, tripping over each other’s feet and the shorts that slid down Tom’s legs. Bill pulled at his twin’s lip ring with his teeth, making a low, rough noise at the back of his throat, and Tom’s knees buckled; he sent them both tumbling into the warm sand. They rolled around for a moment, each struggling to gain the upper hand even though they both knew they were perfectly matched: one could only win if the other let him.
Finally, it was Tom who came out on top. He broke the kiss and grinned down at Bill, who lay in the sand, his hair fanning out around him like a black halo, a striking contrast against the white. He was breathing hard and his face was scrunched up tight with need, but his smile was brilliant and fierce in triumphant surrender. One of his knees came up between Tom’s legs and rubbed him insistently. “Come on then,” he breathed, eyes sparking with the challenge, “do it.”
Tom bit down hard on his lip. Bill was offering himself up for Tom to make his choice, take his pick, do as he pleased, and the thought of that alone was enough to turn Tom’s brain to mush. “Do what?” he whined, leaning shamelessly into the pressure of Bill’s knee against his groin. The friction wasn’t enough. Impatient, he ground into Bill’s hip, bucking hard against his tattooed hipbone. Bill shuddered. His leg curled around the back of Tom’s knee and brought him in closer.
“Do it, do it, do it,” he chanted, voice high and needy now. “Fuck me!”
Tom braced his elbows on either side of his twin’s head, staring down into Bill’s beautifully desperate face. Much as he wanted to indulge them both, much as every fiber of his body was screaming at him to sink himself into Bill’s tight body, he’d sworn to himself once, as they stood at the cusp of their changing relationship, that he would never, ever hurt his twin, and that was the only true rule he lived by, the one he never forgot, not even in the moments of his greatest desire.
He leaned down and touched Bill’s lips with his. Bill’s eyes were screwed shut; they fluttered in surprise at Tom’s gentle touch, and Tom reached up and cradled Bill’s cheek in his palm. “Later,” he rasped. “Now, this.”
His hips were moving as of their own volition now, instinctively seeking the friction they both craved. Their cocks rubbed together as Tom ground down and they both hissed. Bill was making little noises of pleasure as one of Tom’s large hands closed around their cocks and squeezed. He propped himself up on his elbows and watched, eyes shuttered and dark, as Tom’s fist pumped up and down rapidly, both of them already carried so far away that there was no way they were drawing this out for long.
Droplets of sweat rolled down Tom’s spine and pooled at the small of his back. His skin tingled with the sand and the sun and the sensation, each nerve coming alive under the touch of his hand, the feel of Bill’s cock rubbing against his and the smoldering dark eyes that were roaming his body. Bill’s teeth were bared in an almost-snarl, and Tom stared down into his twin’s mesmerizing eyes, his raw need hinging on the expression on that beautiful face.
Whatever Bill wanted, needed, he’d give him, and receive the same in turn; Tom was certain of that, and the hot sudden rush of satisfaction made his spine ripple and his limbs tremble with the strain of containing the force of his desire.
The pressure built at the pit of his stomach, deep inside. His body felt tight, as if it wanted to shatter into a thousand parts at Bill’s command, for him to piece together again at his leisure. Tom bit down hard on his lip, the movements of his wrist erratic now.
“Now,” Bill groaned, “now,” and then he erupted with a sharp cry, his hips bucking up against Tom’s thighs and forcing Tom’s own release. He came in a wild shudder, all over his hand and Bill’s stomach, crying out in relief.
“Fuck, fuck--”
Spent, he collapsed on top of his twin. Bill snorted out a laugh, breathless. His face was a brilliant shade of pink, hot against Tom’s cheek. Together, they lay in a sweaty, sticky mess until their heavy breathing had slowed down and their hearts weren’t threatening to burst out of their chests.
Slowly, Tom raised his head then and grinned down at Bill. “How awesome am I?”
“Coming here was my idea!” Bill exclaimed. He made a face. His hips bucked off the ground. “Yuck, sand. Sand in bad places.”
Tom pulled back to sit on his haunches and surveyed the mess they’d made. “Told you so.” He was feeling the rub of sand and seawater in some sensitive spots too, but he couldn’t help grinning. The afternoon had been worth a little discomfort.
Bill, though, seemed to finally remember that he didn’t actually like nature much when he came in close contact with it. He wiped at the sticky, milky splatters on his stomach with his hand, but only managed to spread the mess. His face scrunched up as if with terrible upset. “I feel like a schnitzel, all covered in batter.”
Tom laughed. “My favorite.”
Bill stuck out his tongue. He pushed Tom off him and climbed to his feet, dusting himself off as best as he could. “You’re a vegetarian.”
Tom leered. “Not when you’re the meat.”
His twin let out a long-suffering sigh. “Okay, you’re not allowed to talk anymore until you’ve come up with some better lines.”
“But I--”
“Hush!”
“You wouldn’t--”
Bill held up one hand. “Nuh-huh.”
“Hmph.”
“Sometimes, you shouldn’t say words,” Bill informed him wisely, and skipped down to the shore to wash off the sand. His swimming trunks were still lying where he’d dropped them; he shook them out before he put them on, but still grimaced as he pulled them up his legs. “Ugh. I don’t care what you say, tomorrow is spa day. I need some skin treatments after all this sand.”
Tom had to admit that wearing damp clothes after frolicking naked on the beach felt unpleasant and confining. He tugged surreptitiously at his shorts, which clung to his front. His skin was sticky. He couldn’t wait to get in the hot tub with a nice strong drink and, possibly, Bill.
“It’s too bad Gustav isn’t here,” Bill said wistfully. “He gives the best backrubs. And Georg makes the best cocktails.”
“I’m sure Georg is happily making love to his girlfriend and Gustav is enjoying his mom’s cooking,” Tom snorted. “Please. I’ll give you a backrub.”
Bill glanced up at him, a small smile playing around his lips. “Jealous? Of Gustav and Georg?”
“No,” Tom said. “Just, leave the poor guys be. We’ll all be together again soon enough. They need their time off, and so do we.”
“Just the two of us, you mean?” Bill smiled. “Yeah, you’re right. Hey, is that rain?” He held out his hands, palms up.
Tom squinted up at the sky. Fluffy grey cotton-ball clouds had gathered and hung over the beach, wrapping up their island as if it was a fragile water globe. A droplet of rain hit his nose. “Yeah. Let’s get going.”
He grabbed Bill’s hand; together, they hurried back into the forest as heavier drops began to fall. Under the trees, the air was thick, moist and sweet. Raindrops rolled off the large palm leaves and dripped down to splash on their bare shoulders.
“It’s not supposed to rain,” Bill said petulantly. “Why fly thousands of kilometers if it’s just going to rain? We could have that at home.”
In a small clearing, Tom stopped. The rain was beginning to fall more densely here, without the green roof of the trees above sheltering them. Glittering raindrops pelted Bill’s head and shoulders and trickled from his bangs into his eyes. He blinked rapidly, black eyelashes fluttering against cheeks that weren’t pale and gaunt for once, but pink with sun and laughter and lust.
Smiling, Tom reached out and caught him around the back of his warm neck, thumb rubbing at the base of Bill’s skull. “At home,” he said, “we couldn’t have this,” and he leaned in, almost shyly, to kiss the corner of Bill’s mouth. Under his lips, the frown gave way to a slow smile, and Tom nipped at Bill’s full lower lip that tasted of sweet rain and Bill’s own, unique flavor, knowing he would never get enough of this. For as long as they lived, he would crave it: the soft, teasing nudge of Bill’s tongue against his, dancing over his lips in a tantalizing game of advance and retreat before Bill finally took mercy on them both and opened up, hot and demanding, pulling Tom close with grabby hands and teeth scraping his skin, drawing him in until Tom felt like he was spinning, spiraling, sinking deeper and deeper, and yet he never wanted to surface again.
He wanted to drown in Bill’s kiss; surrender his first, his last breath, whisper it into him on an endearment just like Bill breathed life into him with every look, every touch, every moment of closeness that had ever been and would ever be, as long as they were together.
Nothing could come between them, but there were rules that even they had to abide by in the real world, out there. Here and now, in the rainy forest, he could reach out, draw Bill close and show openly what he always hid away inside. There was no world beyond the sea at a time like this; just the two of them, wrapped up in each other’s embrace, safe in the garden of their own secret paradise.
“I’m so glad we come here every year,” Bill murmured against his lips, and Tom could hear the smile in his voice now. “We need it.”
“We don’t need it,” Tom replied softly. “But it sure is nice.”
“Yeah, it is.” Bill pulled away, his eyes sparkling, but didn’t let go of Tom’s hands. “You know what else is nice? A long bath. God, I’m dying for a wash.”
“Hot tub?” Tom made hopefully.
“I was thinking of a bubble bath.” A devious look came over Bill’s face as he considered. “Hmm. What do you think will happen if we put bubbles in the hot tub?”
Tom laughed.
Bill made a bee line for the bathroom as soon as they reached the house. He breezed past Tom sneaking a quick ass grab while Tom picked up the phone; he wanted to order room service before putting up the Do Not Disturb sign for the rest of the day.
“Order me a cocktail, will you. A Sex on the Beach.”
Tom coughed and stumbled through the order while behind him, he heard his twin cackle evilly and then escape into the shower to wash off the sand.
Bill was rinsing his hair by the time Tom hung up the phone and shuffled into the bathroom. He leaned in the doorway and watched Bill flail around under the hot spray to the sound of his own loud singing.
”Gib mir die Hand, ich bau dir ein Schloss aus Sand…“
It was an old Nena song about love and hope, building castles out of sand, someday, somewhere, when the time was right. Tom smiled slightly, watching his twin twist and shake his delectable ass in a manner that only Bill would call dancing. It looked supremely stupid. Tom adored it.
Much as he enjoyed Bill’s body, it was not that which drew him like a magnet; too familiar, too much like his own to be exciting just for itself, it was merely the pretty package that held the other half of his soul. Bill carried a piece of Tom inside him always, just like Tom carried a piece of Bill, remnants of the time when they had been one. It was in their blood, their hearts, their minds, and when he touched Bill he could feel it, like a spark that warmed him, lit up his life even in the moments of his dark despair, and he knew that there was something in him that answered to Bill in the same way. They were meant to be one. They always had been.
Quietly, barely audible over the murmur of the water, he asked, “Can I just say something?”
Bill shook back his hair, droplets flying everywhere, and turned to Tom, a big smile on his face. “Is it something good?”
Bill wrought pretty lyrics from the emotions that he couldn’t contain; Tom’s feelings were in the touch of his lips on bare skin, the careful strokes of his fingers tracing patterns across his twin’s back, the hot breaths that chased shivers along Bill’s spine. They didn’t need to be voiced. Bill already knew the words.
They were the thought on which Tom rose in the morning and to which he fell asleep at night. They were every word he’d ever spoken to Bill and none. They were the beginning and end of all things; the most difficult truth of all, and the simplest. “I love you,” Tom said dryly. “Is that good enough?”
Across the room, they smiled at each other. “Yeah,” Bill said. “That’s perfect.”
Title: Forever Now
Author: Peki
Pairing(s): Tom/Bill
Rating: NC17
Warnings: twincest
Summary: Give me your hand/I’ll build you castles made of sand/Anyplace, anywhere, anytime.
Author's notes: Thank you to remy_jen for the beta job and amythystluna for betaing and contributing the beautiful artwork!
“You know, just because the receptionist said that you could round the island on foot doesn’t mean that we should.”
“Why not?”
Tom should’ve known that protesting was useless. Once Bill had made up his mind, there was no stopping him, and now he was walking swiftly up the sandy path that led from the beach into the forest. At the edge of the woods, he stopped and looked back at Tom over his shoulder. “I wanted to go to the spa, but you said you needed action or you’d go nuts. And we’ve never gone hiking across the island. Come on!”
Tom followed, grumbling. When he’d said that, he’d pictured a wholly different kind of action, and since when did Bill enjoy nature walks, anyway? “You don’t go hiking half naked and without shoes,” he called after his twin, but Bill had already vanished between the trees. “Bill!”
“Just pretend we’re on Lost if that makes it more exciting,” he heard Bill’s voice from somewhere ahead, and he broke through the shrubs to find his brother standing under a coconut tree, his hands on his hips. “Wow, look at those nuts!”
He really made it too easy sometimes. Tom leered playfully. “I could’ve shown you some impressive nuts back at the house.”
Bill covered his face with one hand and groaned. “Your jokes have been better.”
“I’m on vacation,” Tom shrugged. “Hey, at least I try to amuse you.”
Bill glanced at him, chagrined. “Is this really so bad? Look how pretty it is out here!” He spread out his long, skinny arms as if he wanted to embrace the palm trees, the warm, sandy ground, the birds in the trees and the lizards darting through the underbrush. “Ah!” he breathed deeply. “I love it here.”
Tom watched him with amusement as he spun around in a circle, his face tilted up at the glimpses of sky and clouds between the crowns of the palm trees. Bill was wearing that goofy, contagious grin that pulled Tom in and swept him along with the irresistible current of his twin’s happiness and, in spite of himself, he smiled. If it took trudging through the forest to keep that expression on Bill’s face, trudge he would.
He just really wished he was wearing shoes, and something more practical than swimming trunks.
“You’ll get dizzy,” he pointed out when Bill continued to spin like a manic ballerina figurine in a music box.
Bill twirled once more and then fell into Tom’s arms, giddy and breathless. His arms wound around Tom’s neck and held on tight, and Tom could smell the salty sea on his skin, the sand and the sun. He bowed his head over Bill’s shoulder and brushed Bill’s neck with the tip of his nose, tongue sneaking out to catch a taste. Bill’s skin was warm and a bit moist with sweat, and he tasted just as good as he smelled.
Bill squirmed, ticklish. “When we’re old and done with everything,” he laughed, “can we move here? Please? We could have a hut on the beach and go for a swim at sunset and sit in the sand eating coconuts--”
“What is it with you and nuts today?” Tom murmured.
Bill shrugged, his bony shoulder hitting Tom in the nose. Grumbling, Tom let him go. “I just like them.” Bill smiled brightly, then snatched Tom’s hand and dragged him further into the woods. “Come on, let’s go exploring, I want to see the sights!”
“There are no sights, just sand and the sea and coconuts. You can see all that from the house,” Tom coaxed. Maybe he could lure Bill back to their beach house yet, which stood just a tempting hundred meters off the shore at the end of a pier, the waves rippling gently against the wooden posts that elevated it above sea level. It was a beautiful little hiding place, with a bathroom overlooking the ocean and a large carved bed with crisp, cool sheets and discreet room service. Cool drinks and a hot tub were calling their names, and Tom wanted nothing more than to go back there and indulge in the luxury of their alone time. Days to steal away like this were too rare. Tom wanted them all, every precious minute. “Let’s just be lazy.”
“Lazy, huh?” Bill gave him a shrewd look. “Sure. Later. Come along.” And off he skipped; Tom trailed after him, muttering under his breath about stupid little brothers and their stupid ideas.
The path wound through the forest in a zig-zagging line. Tom sidestepped tree roots and vines, taking care not to stumble into anything nasty. Bill was accident prone enough for them both; if something happened, Tom would have to carry him back halfway across the island. He glared at a spot between his brother’s shoulder blades as Bill walked ahead of him. Sometimes, he really questioned his twin’s sanity.
It wasn’t until they had reached the edge of the forest that Bill stopped. Before them, the woods opened up onto a beach overlooking a small lagoon. The island’s coastline curved and dipped, curling in on itself to form an almost-perfect white half circle against the backdrop of the deep blue sea, like a crescent moon hanging low in the early evening sky. In the distance, where the water turned from brilliant aquamarine to dark sapphire, waves crested against a sandbar and then flowed gently towards the shore to lap at the sandy beach. The dark, wet sand gradually became smooth and powder-soft further along the beach, where they now stood in the shade of the palm trees. The lagoon lay abandoned and silent save for the murmur of the ocean and the occasional cry of a bird. They were all alone.
Tom breathed deeply. He was glad now that they had chosen the loneliest, most remote island for their vacation, even if party opportunities were severely limited. He glanced at his twin. He had Bill with him; who’d ever need any other entertainment?
“Oh, it’s beautiful!” Bill clapped his hands, a grin spreading across his face. “See, I told you! Let’s go skinny dipping!”
Snorting, Tom followed as his twin ran down the beach, dragging his feet through the fine sand. The air was warm and dryer out here than in the forest; it felt like a heated caress on Tom’s bare skin. “Do you want to end up naked in Bild?” he called after Bill.
“We’re all alone.”
Tom glanced doubtfully up and down the lonely beach, and when he looked back, Bill was dropping his swimming trunks.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Bill had certain exhibitionist tendencies; Tom had known this since they’d been little kids whose favorite way to annoy their mother was to promptly strip off all their clothes after she’d just finished dressing them, making it impossible to tell them apart. Tom had grown out of that at some point, but Bill hadn’t, and his face was just as devious now as Tom remembered it to be back then, albeit for wholly different reasons.
Tom looked back at the forest, half-expecting paparazzi to jump out from behind a palm tree. They were all by themselves, blissfully alone, but his paranoid habits had long become second nature. He frowned at Bill, who was splashing his feet in the shallow water, naked and carefree and grinning like a lunatic.
“What?” he asked all-too-innocently when he noticed Tom’s look. “I like a seamless tan.”
“What for?” Tom asked. “Who’s going to see your ass?”
Bill’s lashes fluttered coyly. “You never know.”
Tom knew he was being played. He knew it, and still he couldn’t help the hot rush of jealousy that surged up inside and burned in his chest. He glared at Bill from narrowed eyes, saw his twin’s impish smile turn knowing, smug, and he was in the water and after Bill in a heartbeat, giving him no time to evade Tom’s grabby hands.
Bill yelped as his twin flung himself at him; their bodies connected with a wet smack and they both went tumbling back into the clear blue water. His scream was swallowed up by the sea and for a few seconds peace and quiet reigned in paradise before the pair came back up again, coughing and spluttering.
“Let me go let me go let me goooo!” Bill squealed, laughing and kicking his feet, stirring up the water around them until it bubbled and fizzed as if the heat of their bodies was bringing it to boiling point.
Tom grinned. He had Bill caught with his back pressed to Tom’s chest and his arms twisted back uselessly, and if there was one thing Bill hated, it was being helpless. Carefully, avoiding the flailing limbs, Tom let go of one arm, only to seize the small silver ring dangling off Bill’s left nipple.
All air seemed to leave Bill’s lungs all at once. He froze, breathless.
“Let’s try again,” Tom said pleasantly, twisting the ring just so. “Be good.”
Bill hissed like an angry king cobra. “If you rip off my nipple, you’ll have to give me one of yours for a transplant,” he threatened. “I’m not walking around nipple-less.”
Tom raised an eyebrow. “Who’s going to see your nipples anyway?”
Bill opened his mouth for a cheeky reply, but seemed to think better of it when Tom pulled a little harder on his nipple ring. He gasped quietly.
“You like it,” Tom stated without the shadow of a doubt. He smirked. Even if he hadn’t known his twin so well, the clear water washing around Bill’s bare hips left little to the imagination.
“So what if I do?” Bill said indignantly. He tilted his head back against Tom’s shoulder and fixed him with the full force of his glare, naked, wet and pissy. He looked so adorably silly that Tom had to bite his lip to hide a grin. “Would you rather I didn’t?”
Tom would have given up anything on this earth, anything at all; just this he couldn’t live without. “Nah,” he said, low. He tugged at the small silver ring, more gently now. “I like it too.”
He did; he did, and that was why, even though he knew Bill inside out and better than anyone, should’ve seen revenge coming, he let his guard down. Transfixed, he stared into Bill’s beautiful, ferocious face, let his eyes trace the path of a water droplet rolling down his neck and zero in on the tiny brown nipple with its shiny ring, and the moment of distraction was all that Bill needed.
A big splash of salt water hit Tom in the face. He raised his arms reflexively to shield his eyes, and Bill spun away. Another wave washed over him; Tom yelped, stumbled back blindly, and then a hand clasped his hip and slim, insistent fingers slipped inside his swimming trunks to grasp him firmly.
Tom went very still. Bill had him, quite literally, by the balls; he wouldn’t hurt him, of that Tom was sure, but Bill could very well reduce him to a quivering mess with a few well-measured strokes of his talented hand. Tom wasn’t ready to yield yet, no matter that a certain part of him had sprung to attention and was very eager to see how this little game would play out if Tom shifted just a bit, resisted just a little.
“Let go,” he breathed, fingers shaky now on Bill’s nipple ring, “and I’ll let you go.”
Bill smirked. “Aw, but do you really want that?” He tightened his grip slightly and Tom felt a shiver race through him and settle, achingly, at the pit of his stomach.
“Yes?”
Bill’s eyes flashed. “Liar,” he said fondly and closed the small distance between them, his free hand wrapping around the back of Tom’s neck. “God, I love you,” and then his lips were on Tom’s, his tongue stud was flicking against the seam of his mouth and, for a few blissful seconds, Tom gave in to the hard kiss, pushing back at Bill with equal fervor.
It was Bill who moaned then, always so easily swept away with the storm of his desires. His other arm wrapped around Tom’s shoulders as one leg curled around the back of Tom’s knee, bringing them closer together. Tom slid his hands down Bill’s sides along his narrow hips, reached around to palm his ass and, moaning into Tom’s mouth, Bill brought his other knee up to squeeze Tom’s hips desperately between his thighs. They were both hard now, and when their erections bumped together, Bill grinding up against Tom’s groin, Tom saw stars and almost, almost forgot any coherent thought.
He broke the kiss to stare up, panting, into Bill’s dark eyes and smiled. Then, as if in slow motion, he let them both fall forward and into the warm water. Bill screeched.
They were partners, lovers, friends, but they were also brothers who had beaten each other up with frying pans when they were little; the instincts were still there, buried only loosely under the layers of newer, more intricate emotions. Tom surfaced, gasping, and flung a handful of wet, sticky sand at the thin chest of his twin, who had just come up a few meters away, flailing and coughing.
Bill shrieked in shock. He looked down at the brown splatter on his chest, then up into Tom’s laughing face. An unholy glint sparked in his eyes. “You want it? You got it.”
“Bring it on,” Tom taunted, and then a wave of water came at him and he went under again.
Coughing out a laugh, he came up with more sand clutched in both fists, and suddenly Bill was close… close enough to dump the handfuls right on his head to mess up his twin’s precious hair, and Bill screamed in outrage and flung himself at Tom, and they both tumbled back into the water.
Tiny white bubbles prickled across Tom’s skin as they rushed to the surface. Bill’s hands were tight on his shoulders but he evaded Tom’s grip, slippery and lithe like a merman; randomly, Tom thought of their visit with Ingrid and Klaus, that elderly couple, and he burst out laughing and inhaled a mouthful of sea water.
Choking, he struggled to break through the mirror-like surface and came up coughing violently. Bill’s grip hadn’t loosened, but now he was pulling Tom up to stand on his feet and his hands were steadying him, their dynamic too long-practiced to not feel instinctively when a fight was over. He smacked Tom’s back hard.
“You’re not supposed to breathe underwater,” he told Tom as if that was a rare pearl of wisdom.
Tom tried to retort something snide, but all that came out was a wet cough.
“There, there,” Bill said in the tones of their octogenarian grandmother. He rubbed Tom’s bare shoulders gently. “What were you doing, silly? Did you want to drown? I still need you.” His arms came around Tom’s back, squeezing hard, and Tom gratefully coughed up some more water and clung.
“I…thought of…Ingrid,” he forced out. His mouth felt parched with the salty taste of the sea water. “That…mermaid thing?”
Bill’s chuckle reverberated through them both, pressed together as they were. “And you were supposed to be a pirate. How could you be a pirate if you’d drown so easily?”
“All your fault,” Tom grumbled.
“Sorry,” Bill said cheerfully. He pulled back and studied Tom’s face. “All right now? You’re purple.”
Tom affected a frown. “I’ve been better.”
“Aw, do you want me to kiss the boo-boo?” Bill cooed. “Where does it hurt?”
It was only fair: after all, Tom’s sore throat was Bill’s fault. Tom pointed vaguely at his neck. “There.”
Obligingly, Bill leaned down for a kiss. He dipped his tongue into the hollow at the base of Tom’s neck, lips whispering over his collar bones and up along his Adam’s apple. His tongue left a wet trail along the line of Tom’s throat. Tom swallowed hard, and Bill chuckled against his skin. His lips had reached the sharp angle of Tom’s jaw; he nipped him there playfully before moving back along the side of his neck, his hair tickling Tom’s cheek as he leaned down and sucked soft skin between his teeth.
Tom shuddered. At home, he couldn’t afford to have visible love bites for fear of stupid questions; he didn’t want the whole world to think that he’d let some girl mark him. That was a privilege and a rare pleasure, reserved for the times when it was just them and they could still be whatever they wanted to be. Bill dragged his tongue stud across his skin and Tom gasped out a sobbing breath, hands coming up to cradle Bill’s head tenderly.
Bill pulled away slightly. He nudged the small purple bruise he’d left on Tom’s neck with his nose. “Where else does it hurt?” he asked slyly.
“Here.” Tom touched his chest, which still hurt from all the coughing. He didn’t even remotely care that he was delivering himself voluntarily into the hands of the greatest tease he had ever had the pleasure of knowing. Bill was just too fucking good, and besides, Tom could always pay him back for his sins later: tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. This, he thought joyfully as he looked down to watch Bill press his lips against his chest, this would be forever.
“Hmm,” Bill purred. “All better now?” His fingers were at the waistband of Tom’s shorts, toying with the drawstring that kept them hanging precariously low on Tom’s hips while his mouth traced the lines of smooth, hard abs.
Tom cleared his throat. He sounded hoarse when he spoke. “Uh, you know, while you’re down there…”
His twin’s snicker tickled Tom’s stomach. One hand dipped below the water and wandered lazily up the inside of Tom’s thigh. “Yes?”
“Uhh,” Tom made; the back of Bill’s hand was rubbing against his balls, making the muscles in Tom’s stomach twitch and his toes curl into the slick sand of the ocean ground. Tom squeezed his eyes shut and saw the bright glittering reflections of the sun caressing the sea burned into the inside of his eyelids. White lights flickered before his eyes, and when Bill touched him more firmly, with purpose, they exploded like fireworks.
“Why are you still wearing pants?” Bill complained, and promptly yanked them down to float around Tom’s knees in the shallow water. Tom’s cock twitched as Bill wrapped a hand around the base. Tom breathed deeply through his nose, willing himself not to start thrusting up into that tight fist that enveloped him so perfectly, and then suddenly the hand was replaced by a hot pair of lips and Tom almost lost it.
Bill’s chuckle hummed through him, prickled across his skin. The hard little stud of Bill’s piercing swirled around and around the sensitive head of his cock, and Tom’s legs would’ve given out from under him if not for the hands on his hips, steadying him. “So fucking delicious,” Bill murmured, coming up for air. His thumbs flicked back and forth over Tom’s hips, dipped into the hollows below his hipbones. “So hot.”
Tom squeezed his eyes shut. If Bill didn’t stop talking in that voice and take mercy on him soon, he would…he would…
He didn’t know what he would, as Bill chose that moment to flatten his tongue against the underside of Tom’s shaft. He dragged that damned tongue stud upwards in a tantalizing stroke, and Tom spat out a curse that sounded more like a plea.
“Fuck.”
“That’s the idea.”
Bill was on his feet again in one fluid motion, his lips seeking Tom’s hungrily. He tasted of salt water and cock when he thrust his tongue into Tom’s mouth, and tasting himself on Bill’s lips finally made Tom’s composure crack.
“Come on,” he muttered, hands pulling at his twin, pulling him towards the shore. “Come on, come on, I want--”
Bill laughed quietly. “What do you want?”
“You,” Tom bit out.
They stumbled out of the water, tripping over each other’s feet and the shorts that slid down Tom’s legs. Bill pulled at his twin’s lip ring with his teeth, making a low, rough noise at the back of his throat, and Tom’s knees buckled; he sent them both tumbling into the warm sand. They rolled around for a moment, each struggling to gain the upper hand even though they both knew they were perfectly matched: one could only win if the other let him.
Finally, it was Tom who came out on top. He broke the kiss and grinned down at Bill, who lay in the sand, his hair fanning out around him like a black halo, a striking contrast against the white. He was breathing hard and his face was scrunched up tight with need, but his smile was brilliant and fierce in triumphant surrender. One of his knees came up between Tom’s legs and rubbed him insistently. “Come on then,” he breathed, eyes sparking with the challenge, “do it.”
Tom bit down hard on his lip. Bill was offering himself up for Tom to make his choice, take his pick, do as he pleased, and the thought of that alone was enough to turn Tom’s brain to mush. “Do what?” he whined, leaning shamelessly into the pressure of Bill’s knee against his groin. The friction wasn’t enough. Impatient, he ground into Bill’s hip, bucking hard against his tattooed hipbone. Bill shuddered. His leg curled around the back of Tom’s knee and brought him in closer.
“Do it, do it, do it,” he chanted, voice high and needy now. “Fuck me!”
Tom braced his elbows on either side of his twin’s head, staring down into Bill’s beautifully desperate face. Much as he wanted to indulge them both, much as every fiber of his body was screaming at him to sink himself into Bill’s tight body, he’d sworn to himself once, as they stood at the cusp of their changing relationship, that he would never, ever hurt his twin, and that was the only true rule he lived by, the one he never forgot, not even in the moments of his greatest desire.
He leaned down and touched Bill’s lips with his. Bill’s eyes were screwed shut; they fluttered in surprise at Tom’s gentle touch, and Tom reached up and cradled Bill’s cheek in his palm. “Later,” he rasped. “Now, this.”
His hips were moving as of their own volition now, instinctively seeking the friction they both craved. Their cocks rubbed together as Tom ground down and they both hissed. Bill was making little noises of pleasure as one of Tom’s large hands closed around their cocks and squeezed. He propped himself up on his elbows and watched, eyes shuttered and dark, as Tom’s fist pumped up and down rapidly, both of them already carried so far away that there was no way they were drawing this out for long.
Droplets of sweat rolled down Tom’s spine and pooled at the small of his back. His skin tingled with the sand and the sun and the sensation, each nerve coming alive under the touch of his hand, the feel of Bill’s cock rubbing against his and the smoldering dark eyes that were roaming his body. Bill’s teeth were bared in an almost-snarl, and Tom stared down into his twin’s mesmerizing eyes, his raw need hinging on the expression on that beautiful face.
Whatever Bill wanted, needed, he’d give him, and receive the same in turn; Tom was certain of that, and the hot sudden rush of satisfaction made his spine ripple and his limbs tremble with the strain of containing the force of his desire.
The pressure built at the pit of his stomach, deep inside. His body felt tight, as if it wanted to shatter into a thousand parts at Bill’s command, for him to piece together again at his leisure. Tom bit down hard on his lip, the movements of his wrist erratic now.
“Now,” Bill groaned, “now,” and then he erupted with a sharp cry, his hips bucking up against Tom’s thighs and forcing Tom’s own release. He came in a wild shudder, all over his hand and Bill’s stomach, crying out in relief.
“Fuck, fuck--”
Spent, he collapsed on top of his twin. Bill snorted out a laugh, breathless. His face was a brilliant shade of pink, hot against Tom’s cheek. Together, they lay in a sweaty, sticky mess until their heavy breathing had slowed down and their hearts weren’t threatening to burst out of their chests.
Slowly, Tom raised his head then and grinned down at Bill. “How awesome am I?”
“Coming here was my idea!” Bill exclaimed. He made a face. His hips bucked off the ground. “Yuck, sand. Sand in bad places.”
Tom pulled back to sit on his haunches and surveyed the mess they’d made. “Told you so.” He was feeling the rub of sand and seawater in some sensitive spots too, but he couldn’t help grinning. The afternoon had been worth a little discomfort.
Bill, though, seemed to finally remember that he didn’t actually like nature much when he came in close contact with it. He wiped at the sticky, milky splatters on his stomach with his hand, but only managed to spread the mess. His face scrunched up as if with terrible upset. “I feel like a schnitzel, all covered in batter.”
Tom laughed. “My favorite.”
Bill stuck out his tongue. He pushed Tom off him and climbed to his feet, dusting himself off as best as he could. “You’re a vegetarian.”
Tom leered. “Not when you’re the meat.”
His twin let out a long-suffering sigh. “Okay, you’re not allowed to talk anymore until you’ve come up with some better lines.”
“But I--”
“Hush!”
“You wouldn’t--”
Bill held up one hand. “Nuh-huh.”
“Hmph.”
“Sometimes, you shouldn’t say words,” Bill informed him wisely, and skipped down to the shore to wash off the sand. His swimming trunks were still lying where he’d dropped them; he shook them out before he put them on, but still grimaced as he pulled them up his legs. “Ugh. I don’t care what you say, tomorrow is spa day. I need some skin treatments after all this sand.”
Tom had to admit that wearing damp clothes after frolicking naked on the beach felt unpleasant and confining. He tugged surreptitiously at his shorts, which clung to his front. His skin was sticky. He couldn’t wait to get in the hot tub with a nice strong drink and, possibly, Bill.
“It’s too bad Gustav isn’t here,” Bill said wistfully. “He gives the best backrubs. And Georg makes the best cocktails.”
“I’m sure Georg is happily making love to his girlfriend and Gustav is enjoying his mom’s cooking,” Tom snorted. “Please. I’ll give you a backrub.”
Bill glanced up at him, a small smile playing around his lips. “Jealous? Of Gustav and Georg?”
“No,” Tom said. “Just, leave the poor guys be. We’ll all be together again soon enough. They need their time off, and so do we.”
“Just the two of us, you mean?” Bill smiled. “Yeah, you’re right. Hey, is that rain?” He held out his hands, palms up.
Tom squinted up at the sky. Fluffy grey cotton-ball clouds had gathered and hung over the beach, wrapping up their island as if it was a fragile water globe. A droplet of rain hit his nose. “Yeah. Let’s get going.”
He grabbed Bill’s hand; together, they hurried back into the forest as heavier drops began to fall. Under the trees, the air was thick, moist and sweet. Raindrops rolled off the large palm leaves and dripped down to splash on their bare shoulders.
“It’s not supposed to rain,” Bill said petulantly. “Why fly thousands of kilometers if it’s just going to rain? We could have that at home.”
In a small clearing, Tom stopped. The rain was beginning to fall more densely here, without the green roof of the trees above sheltering them. Glittering raindrops pelted Bill’s head and shoulders and trickled from his bangs into his eyes. He blinked rapidly, black eyelashes fluttering against cheeks that weren’t pale and gaunt for once, but pink with sun and laughter and lust.
Smiling, Tom reached out and caught him around the back of his warm neck, thumb rubbing at the base of Bill’s skull. “At home,” he said, “we couldn’t have this,” and he leaned in, almost shyly, to kiss the corner of Bill’s mouth. Under his lips, the frown gave way to a slow smile, and Tom nipped at Bill’s full lower lip that tasted of sweet rain and Bill’s own, unique flavor, knowing he would never get enough of this. For as long as they lived, he would crave it: the soft, teasing nudge of Bill’s tongue against his, dancing over his lips in a tantalizing game of advance and retreat before Bill finally took mercy on them both and opened up, hot and demanding, pulling Tom close with grabby hands and teeth scraping his skin, drawing him in until Tom felt like he was spinning, spiraling, sinking deeper and deeper, and yet he never wanted to surface again.
He wanted to drown in Bill’s kiss; surrender his first, his last breath, whisper it into him on an endearment just like Bill breathed life into him with every look, every touch, every moment of closeness that had ever been and would ever be, as long as they were together.
Nothing could come between them, but there were rules that even they had to abide by in the real world, out there. Here and now, in the rainy forest, he could reach out, draw Bill close and show openly what he always hid away inside. There was no world beyond the sea at a time like this; just the two of them, wrapped up in each other’s embrace, safe in the garden of their own secret paradise.
“I’m so glad we come here every year,” Bill murmured against his lips, and Tom could hear the smile in his voice now. “We need it.”
“We don’t need it,” Tom replied softly. “But it sure is nice.”
“Yeah, it is.” Bill pulled away, his eyes sparkling, but didn’t let go of Tom’s hands. “You know what else is nice? A long bath. God, I’m dying for a wash.”
“Hot tub?” Tom made hopefully.
“I was thinking of a bubble bath.” A devious look came over Bill’s face as he considered. “Hmm. What do you think will happen if we put bubbles in the hot tub?”
Tom laughed.
Bill made a bee line for the bathroom as soon as they reached the house. He breezed past Tom sneaking a quick ass grab while Tom picked up the phone; he wanted to order room service before putting up the Do Not Disturb sign for the rest of the day.
“Order me a cocktail, will you. A Sex on the Beach.”
Tom coughed and stumbled through the order while behind him, he heard his twin cackle evilly and then escape into the shower to wash off the sand.
Bill was rinsing his hair by the time Tom hung up the phone and shuffled into the bathroom. He leaned in the doorway and watched Bill flail around under the hot spray to the sound of his own loud singing.
”Gib mir die Hand, ich bau dir ein Schloss aus Sand…“
It was an old Nena song about love and hope, building castles out of sand, someday, somewhere, when the time was right. Tom smiled slightly, watching his twin twist and shake his delectable ass in a manner that only Bill would call dancing. It looked supremely stupid. Tom adored it.
Much as he enjoyed Bill’s body, it was not that which drew him like a magnet; too familiar, too much like his own to be exciting just for itself, it was merely the pretty package that held the other half of his soul. Bill carried a piece of Tom inside him always, just like Tom carried a piece of Bill, remnants of the time when they had been one. It was in their blood, their hearts, their minds, and when he touched Bill he could feel it, like a spark that warmed him, lit up his life even in the moments of his dark despair, and he knew that there was something in him that answered to Bill in the same way. They were meant to be one. They always had been.
Quietly, barely audible over the murmur of the water, he asked, “Can I just say something?”
Bill shook back his hair, droplets flying everywhere, and turned to Tom, a big smile on his face. “Is it something good?”
Bill wrought pretty lyrics from the emotions that he couldn’t contain; Tom’s feelings were in the touch of his lips on bare skin, the careful strokes of his fingers tracing patterns across his twin’s back, the hot breaths that chased shivers along Bill’s spine. They didn’t need to be voiced. Bill already knew the words.
They were the thought on which Tom rose in the morning and to which he fell asleep at night. They were every word he’d ever spoken to Bill and none. They were the beginning and end of all things; the most difficult truth of all, and the simplest. “I love you,” Tom said dryly. “Is that good enough?”
Across the room, they smiled at each other. “Yeah,” Bill said. “That’s perfect.”