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You have ever been hit by a chancla.
Actually, I have.
You grew up scared by something called "El Cucuy."
Es "El Coco". And no, I was never scared of that.
Others tell you to stop screaming when you are really just talking.
DUDE!!?
You light a candle on the night of the Lotto drawing.
No. Not everybody is obsessed with that. Although there are some pretty scary ladies who are.
You use your lips to point something out.
Excuse me, but how can anybody do that?
You constantly refer to cereal as "con fleis".
Haha. I actually learn to pronounce it correctly only two years ago.
Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if it's a one bedroom apartment.
So true. How else is she going to tell me dinner is ready? We don't have interphones.
You can dance ranchera, cumbia or salsa without music.
I can't dance. Period.
You use "manteca" (lard) instead of olive oil and can't figure out why your butt is getting bigger.
Ew. But I do know people who do use manteca to cook. Ew again.
You call your sneakers "tenees".
That's how they are called!!! (but it's spelled "tenis") I have a dictionary to prove it!
You have at least thirty cousins.
No, they are only fifteen counting both my mum's and my dad's sides of the family. But I do know more than 30 people who I call my cousins. They are mainly my mum's cousins.
You can't imagine anyone not liking spicy food.
I can't imagine a meal without spicy food.
You are in a 5-passenger car with 7 people in it and a person shouting "subanse, todavia caben".
The reasoning behind that is "why pay for another cap if this one can take us all?".
Whenever you feel under the weather, you compulsively dab on some "Vics" vapor rub all over your chest and inside your nostrils.
No. That thing stinks. But only the fact that I know what that sentence is referring to, should prove that a lot of people do rub that Vics thing every time they get a chance.
Your mom packs your "lonchera" everyday.
My mum never packed any lonche for me. There was one time, I think I was in second grade, when she went to my school during lunch time ( but she didn't get in, no mothers are allowed to do that; so instead of coming in, they just give the kids their lonche through the fence) and she sent a kid to get me. Only that I did not believe what the kid told me about my mum trying to give me some food, and kept playing. So my mum never tried to bring me some lonche to school again.
You or someone you know uses "Tres Flores" in their hair.
I don't know what "Tres Flores" is.
Tamales, champurrado, posole and menudo are must haves on Thanksgiving.
HAHA! We don't celebrate Thanksgiving! BUT all the food mentioned above is considered "December food".
There is more Budweiser than punch at little Juanito's birthday party.
Only half right. It's "Carta Blanca" if you live in Monterrey, or "Sol" or "Tecate" but never Budweiser, lol.
There is at least one member in your family name Maria, Guadalupe, Juan, Jose, or Jesus.
Oh yeah. It's kind of a tradition. My dad's named Jesús, one of my aunts is named Maria, as well as both of my grandmothers and one of my great-grandmothers.
Everyone still thinks Cesar Chavez is the best boxer even if he lost against Oscar De La Hoya.
Well, he might not be the best, but he did made box popular again, if only for a couple of years.
You've gone to the Pulgamarket every weekend for years.
Not really. And it'0s only Pulga, loose the "market". But there's a Pulga near my house (much too close for my liking) every Monday.
You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking up every inch of space on/under the TV.
Haha! There are a lot of houses like that.
You have a porcelain cat, dog, Buddha, or elephant in your living room.
Er... there's a porcelain Santa, but it only cames out of the closet every December.
You have plastic slipcovers on your sofas.
That's so tacky.
You swear "Choco Mil" is the same as Slim Fast and try to lose weight by drinking it.
lmao! I have never know of anyone doing that.
You have a drunk uncle/aunt.
Not that I know. But my family is big, so let me get at you on this one.
You're still afraid to open that umbrella in your house.
HaHA! in my case is justified, because we have ceiling fans, and opening an umbrella inside the house can be very dangerous indeed!
You not only know who Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante is, but you tell people he's your tio.
Um.. no? But then again, the family is really big...I'll have to ask my mum.
Your mother, tia or hermana's hair is blackcherry, "Sun in" red or a burgundy that would make Celia Cruz jealous.
YES! my cousin just died her hair.
You always try to find out what town another fellow Latino's family is from.
No.
You have ever had to "beepiar" a friend on their pager.
Flash news for you: the cellphones have been invented.
You wear your Sunday best to do laundry at the laundrymat and go grocery shopping.
The laundymats are almost exclusively to send fancy suits to wash.
You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold.
My mum just told me that again this afternoon!
You go to a wedding or Quiencienera, gossip about how bad the comida is, but be the first to take a plato to go.
I don't take a plato to go, but it is aknown fact that the weddings and Quinceaneras exist so people can gossip about how bad everything was.
You have a bottle of Tapatio in your purse.
Haha! I'm tempted to put one there now...
Your cousins are delinquents / hootchies.
They are not. But let me tell you about my neighboors...
You have a chola in your barrio named "La Flaca" who's bigger than a house.
I've never heard (or rather, read) the term "chola" until now.
You think Cristina trumps Oprah any day.
Haha! have you seen an angry Cuban? Poor Oprah is way to sweet, she wouldn't last against an angry Cristina.
You have a cousin named "Guero" who's darker than night.
Not really, but I've been called "Guera" and it's really not the case.
You know a chola named "La Shy Girl" who is loud and obnoxious.
um.. no.
You need to point out how much something you just bought cost.
Only if it was a very good deal.
You go to a white friends house for dinner and don't understand the concept of sitting at a table.
Meep. That'd be sad.
You've tried to bring a mango back to the US from Mexico, and a bonus point if you actually made it all the way home with it.
I've never do that, but I've seen people trying to take tamales to the US
You have a bottle of Bacardi or Tequila in your house right now.
It's a Don Pedro. And my dad is saving it for Christmas.
You drive a "Cheby", an "Ohsmobeel" or a "Bolswahgon"
Nope, but everybody has owned one of those at some point of their life.
You're proud to be Mexican - and you pass these jokes on to all your Mexican friends!
And post it in your lj!
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