out at sea
that feeling -when you're in the ocean
and you lay on your back looking up at the sky
the people around you just fade into the background and their voices dull
and you just float
and if you stay like that for a really long time
your entire body goes cold
and time stands still
it's almost like being asleep...which is almost like being dead o_O weeird
mmm maybe not reallyhahhaa
i am traveling because i was tired of floating
not really living
just floating
but not in the deep blue sea
floating near the shore in shallow waters
i'm abroad because
life became a routine
-go to class
-memorize
-throw up facts during finals
-forget all the information
-eat
-sleep
slight variations
throw in a night of dancing every so often, and mini adventures with close friends
it's acutally quite a lovely way to be - it's very comfortable
but i was floating.
i wasn't learning anything, i wasn't becoming excited about little things like i use to, i wasn't 'growing' whatever that means
some people think i'm on some 'crazy adventure'
and they "wish" they could do something like this
really most people can
if i can afford it anyone can
it's just the actually planning
and buying the plan ticket and all that that i guess can seem a bit daunting
but really once you make the decision to go somehwere/ do something
things start falling into place
"just do it" - best motto
it's really not crazy
so here i am
across the world
having a pretty good time
[and only assuming it's going to get better once school ends and i get to start doing my backpacking thing :) ]
and i realize
even here
i start to float
the act of coming here
was a decision to start swimming
and i got here
and i set up a like a temp-life
with a new group of people to hang out with
and a new home
and a new job
and i'm sitting here
trying to cram a semester's worth of information into my head
only so i can regurgitate it onto my exam tomorrow
and i think i've realized
jesus christ you can't fucking swim your entire life
sometimes you just need to float
hahahahaha
i really admire those people who really live every single day to the very fullest
but i dont' think i can be one of those people
and after swimming for awhile and making things happen
sometimes it's nice
to just have a little bit of a routine before
getting into another marathon
i swim as many days as i can
and i take the opportunities that i notice
and i am fairly happy this way :]
i hope i am passionate about life
but i'm not sure
but i hope i am
i think it's important
anyways
i think most of that didn't make any sense
but it is logical in my head
and i'm really just procrastinating
someone asked me yesterday"so what do you wnat to be when you grow up"
and oddly enough
this is where my train of thought lead me
XD
for halloween
i was the sun
earth + 7 other planets (not counting pluto) ALL REVOLVE AROUND ME
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA