(no subject)
Still no computer yet, but I'm at my mom's so I figure I'll update. I was going to post a really hilarious story about how the Isuzu broke and how I drove it 30 minutes to my mom's down I-85 with a broken exhaust, but I don't really have the energy. To summarize, between the speed and the ungodly noise of not having a working exhaust, I felt like I was starring in The Straight Story. Those of you who are David Lynch fans will understand.
Every week I check babycenter.com and baby-gaga.com to see what I can expect from pregnancy, and this week is particularly infuriating. Both websites talk about the return of moodiness, which is certainly the case for me, but baby-gaga decided to tell me this:
"Oh and all that moodiness? Just go with the flow emotionally. This doesn't mean letting the hormones win and becoming a complete psychotic. Instead, feel the feelings, but know that the drama you’re feeling is largely a result of increased adrenaline thanks indirectly to hormonal swings-not because things really are that dramatic and merit adult temper tantrums."
How in the hell are you supposed to "feel the feelings" without turning into a psychotic or becoming dramatic? There have been two days in the last week now where I simply cannot stop crying. I know that the potency of my emotional reaction probably does have to do with the hormones and whatnot, but I'm not sure that I should just be "going with the flow" on this one. For starters, my husband lost his job today without warning (the economy's fault, not his), and earlier in the week I was moved to an "on-call" basis because of lack of business. I doubt that I will work more than 12 hours a week while I'm still with FedEx. Granted, hubby has an interview on Tuesday, but I'm not going to count our chickens before they hatch, and despite my best efforts- relying on nepotism, calling in favors, begging in general- no one is willing to hire an almost 7 months pregnant lady in any capacity. Not a great position to be in when you're ushering a child into the world. Not only that but being completely screwed financially does not couple well with the persistant urge to accomplish something. Every bone in my body screams, "GET READY FOR THE BABY YOU DAMN FOOL!!!!!" except that I won't be living in the apartment we are currently in so I can't do anything to prepare for the baby there except pack my belongings (which I have been doing with little satisfaction) and I have not had my baby shower yet and have roughly zero spare dollars at the moment so I'm left to constantly delete and re-do my registry based on what I think is the absolute bare minimum I can afford to get by on for the first couple of months. I have absolutely no idea what that is considering that I've never been a mom, and all my friends who have all tell me "oh you just can't live without ." Any other task in my life that needs to be accoplished is to be avoided at all costs because I'm pregnant. "Oh you can't be bending over a fender taking apart and fixing the Honda because you're pregnant." "You can't strip the paint of the base boards because you're pregnant." "You can't move around the furniture because you're pregnant." So all I can do is sit here, being pregnant, unable to get anything done, and dangerously close to a mental breakdown complete with Britney Spears-like head shaving. I can't just go with that flow, I'm sorry.
I thought typing this out might help but I'm actually just about to cry again so adios for now. Perhaps when the lap top returns I will post again.
Every week I check babycenter.com and baby-gaga.com to see what I can expect from pregnancy, and this week is particularly infuriating. Both websites talk about the return of moodiness, which is certainly the case for me, but baby-gaga decided to tell me this:
"Oh and all that moodiness? Just go with the flow emotionally. This doesn't mean letting the hormones win and becoming a complete psychotic. Instead, feel the feelings, but know that the drama you’re feeling is largely a result of increased adrenaline thanks indirectly to hormonal swings-not because things really are that dramatic and merit adult temper tantrums."
How in the hell are you supposed to "feel the feelings" without turning into a psychotic or becoming dramatic? There have been two days in the last week now where I simply cannot stop crying. I know that the potency of my emotional reaction probably does have to do with the hormones and whatnot, but I'm not sure that I should just be "going with the flow" on this one. For starters, my husband lost his job today without warning (the economy's fault, not his), and earlier in the week I was moved to an "on-call" basis because of lack of business. I doubt that I will work more than 12 hours a week while I'm still with FedEx. Granted, hubby has an interview on Tuesday, but I'm not going to count our chickens before they hatch, and despite my best efforts- relying on nepotism, calling in favors, begging in general- no one is willing to hire an almost 7 months pregnant lady in any capacity. Not a great position to be in when you're ushering a child into the world. Not only that but being completely screwed financially does not couple well with the persistant urge to accomplish something. Every bone in my body screams, "GET READY FOR THE BABY YOU DAMN FOOL!!!!!" except that I won't be living in the apartment we are currently in so I can't do anything to prepare for the baby there except pack my belongings (which I have been doing with little satisfaction) and I have not had my baby shower yet and have roughly zero spare dollars at the moment so I'm left to constantly delete and re-do my registry based on what I think is the absolute bare minimum I can afford to get by on for the first couple of months. I have absolutely no idea what that is considering that I've never been a mom, and all my friends who have all tell me "oh you just can't live without ." Any other task in my life that needs to be accoplished is to be avoided at all costs because I'm pregnant. "Oh you can't be bending over a fender taking apart and fixing the Honda because you're pregnant." "You can't strip the paint of the base boards because you're pregnant." "You can't move around the furniture because you're pregnant." So all I can do is sit here, being pregnant, unable to get anything done, and dangerously close to a mental breakdown complete with Britney Spears-like head shaving. I can't just go with that flow, I'm sorry.
I thought typing this out might help but I'm actually just about to cry again so adios for now. Perhaps when the lap top returns I will post again.