just another day.....
so.. okay Keith said that I'm a bad influence on his sister......
n maybe I am... I was thinkin that maybe I am because I'm goin to go through my stage and if you haven't been there.. you really don't understand....and I really don't want her to be around while I go through it.. I'm kind of hoping that I don't go through it but I get at these stages where its just me.. iono its hard to explain... I think that instead, I'm just going to keep writing in my notebook.. I've almost filled it cause I've been writing a lot lately.. I'll have to go get another one........damnit
at the family reunion.... my mom almost made me cry... I didn't eat much cause I wasn't hungry.. FOR THE RECORD: I don't starve myself... I just don't eat when I'm not hungry.. n lately.. I haven't been hungry... well she sat down and I got breakfast, (a pancake..just one) and I was eating it slowly and threw half of it away.. she said something about me not eating "Wow peggy.. u sure haven't been eating lately" or something like that... so ALL EYES on me.. I was soo embaressed and so I told her "I don't eat when I'm not hungry.." n I felt that the whole campout I was being watched.... so I tried to eat a lot... okay yesterday night I had a turkey sandwhich... I think thats enough if your nto hungry.. well then at lunch I felt like everyone was watching me when I sat down so I ate a couple bites and gave my dad the leftovers adn walked away... I just couldn't take everyone watching me and then I heard them talk about me when I left.. Its not that I don't eat cuz I"m depressed... yeah I'm depressed OH WELL.. but I just don't eat if I'm not hungry.. sorry.. I don't push food in my mouth!!! And if I DO eat, I'll just end up puking it up anyways!!!!!!! and then I'll feel guilty cause I think that I'm sick or something so I'll eat and then feel guilty about stuffing myself.. iono..
so I'm gonna start working out!!! Yeah running! RUNNING.. and I think that I'm gonna quit smoking.. iono 'bout that one.. but I'm gonna go tanning.. iono.. when I don't feel good about myself I go to extremes to change.. EXTREMES.. We'll see how this one turns out!!! but I'm gonna go running starting tomorrow... its gonna hopefully...HOPEFULLY.. help me out about self esteem!! not that its low or anythin...no way.. I'm hot shitt!! *sarcastically spoken* but no really... i ain't all that..
n maybe I am... I was thinkin that maybe I am because I'm goin to go through my stage and if you haven't been there.. you really don't understand....and I really don't want her to be around while I go through it.. I'm kind of hoping that I don't go through it but I get at these stages where its just me.. iono its hard to explain... I think that instead, I'm just going to keep writing in my notebook.. I've almost filled it cause I've been writing a lot lately.. I'll have to go get another one........damnit
at the family reunion.... my mom almost made me cry... I didn't eat much cause I wasn't hungry.. FOR THE RECORD: I don't starve myself... I just don't eat when I'm not hungry.. n lately.. I haven't been hungry... well she sat down and I got breakfast, (a pancake..just one) and I was eating it slowly and threw half of it away.. she said something about me not eating "Wow peggy.. u sure haven't been eating lately" or something like that... so ALL EYES on me.. I was soo embaressed and so I told her "I don't eat when I'm not hungry.." n I felt that the whole campout I was being watched.... so I tried to eat a lot... okay yesterday night I had a turkey sandwhich... I think thats enough if your nto hungry.. well then at lunch I felt like everyone was watching me when I sat down so I ate a couple bites and gave my dad the leftovers adn walked away... I just couldn't take everyone watching me and then I heard them talk about me when I left.. Its not that I don't eat cuz I"m depressed... yeah I'm depressed OH WELL.. but I just don't eat if I'm not hungry.. sorry.. I don't push food in my mouth!!! And if I DO eat, I'll just end up puking it up anyways!!!!!!! and then I'll feel guilty cause I think that I'm sick or something so I'll eat and then feel guilty about stuffing myself.. iono..
so I'm gonna start working out!!! Yeah running! RUNNING.. and I think that I'm gonna quit smoking.. iono 'bout that one.. but I'm gonna go tanning.. iono.. when I don't feel good about myself I go to extremes to change.. EXTREMES.. We'll see how this one turns out!!! but I'm gonna go running starting tomorrow... its gonna hopefully...HOPEFULLY.. help me out about self esteem!! not that its low or anythin...no way.. I'm hot shitt!! *sarcastically spoken* but no really... i ain't all that..