Song Lyrics Meme
Since half my friends list is doing this, I figured I'd give it a shot, too.
The opening lyrics from 20 songs, chosen at random from my playlist, are listed under the cut. Pick one and write a brief little ficlet or drabble based on the lyric. And if any of my non-QAF friends want to join in, feel free to post something related to Buffy, Angel, Highlander, or even something completely original.
First, the fics I've posted in other people's journals:
1. For wide_ocean, I wrote a short 308 gapfiller
lyric: "I'm done denying the truth to anyone, 'cause I'm alive"
All I can think about is that kiss. What was it? What did it mean? Was he saying good-bye once and for all? Or was it his way of telling me he won't be giving up again?
Part of me thinks it would be easier if it was good-bye. Easier like the way, when he left, it was easier to for me to tell Lindsay, "I never loved him," than to admit how much I missed him. Easier like the way it was easier for me to tell Mikey, "I told him from day one, I don't believe in love," than to admit that Mikey was right, that I loved him more than anything.
Easier to live my life alone, to deny that I cared about him, than to risk getting hurt again.
When he left, I was sure that I wanted things easier. But ever since that kiss, I'm not sure anymore if that's what I want. It might be easier, but it's also lonely... empty.
I know that my refusal to admit that I cared was part of the reason why he left. If he comes back, I won't make that mistake again. But I also know that, when it comes to feelings, I'm a coward. If that kiss was good-bye, I will never admit how I feel. I won't have the courage unless he makes the first move.
So I wonder again, was the kiss good-bye... or hello?
Then there's a knock on my door.
"Mr. Kinney?"
I don't have to wonder anymore.
"Taylor. Come in. Sit down. You wanted to see me?"
2. For twistinside82, I wrote a much shorter 304 drabble
lyric: Hands touch, eyes meet, sudden silence, sudden heat.
His hands are touching mine, and I never want him to stop touching me.
I look into his eyes, and I want to stay like this forever.
It's been so long. I've missed this so much.
But I know it's not real. And I know that if I don't end this now, I'll never be able to let him go.
So I take a deep breath and ask him, "Shouldn't you be getting back to your boyfriend?"
3. For burnitbackwards I wrote a pre-series, Brian piece
lyric: He decided he'd be better off alone
There was nothing special about that night. It was exactly like so many nights before. The only difference was the reason. Other times it was because he left his bicycle in the driveway, because he forgot to hand in one of his assignments at school, because Father Flanagan thought he was a bad influence on the other altar boys. This time it was because he had taken the milk out at breakfast and had forgotten to put it away before leaving for school. By the time his father got home from work, the milk was spoiled.
He was sitting in his bedroom all alone, holding a bag of ice over his soon-to-be black eye and trying not to cry. Just like always, his mother came in and told him, "You know your father loves you. He wouldn't get so angry if he didn't love you so much."
It was exactly the same as so many nights before. Only this time something was different. This time Brian decided that he didn't believe in love. If that was what love was, it was better to be alone.
4. For shape5 A 220 Gapfiller
lyric: I touch the fire and it freezes me I look into it and it's black
I used to be so sure. No matter what anyone told me... no matter what he said himself... I knew he loved me. I knew it.
I don't have that anymore.
Ever since I woke up in the hospital and discovered that he hadn't come to see me even once, I've had doubts. When four more weeks passed and he still never came, those doubts continued to grow.
He let me come and stay with him, he bought me a computer, he's paying for school, he even agreed to my stupid rules. But was that love or guilt?
At times I've acted like a child, testing him, wanting to know... would he care if I broke those rules? If I pushed him away, would he come back? Would he let me come back? And if he did, was it because he loved me... or because he simply didn't care?
Sometimes I'm almost convinced that he must love me. He wouldn't do so much for me if he didn't. But then he'll do something else, and I'm just as convinced that he couldn't act that way if he really cared.
I used to be so sure. Now I don't know anything.
Sometime I feel like the real Justin died that night, and I'm just a shell that's been left in his place.
All I know is that I can't keep doing this anymore. I'm so tired of guessing, of trying to figure him out. Being with Brian is terrifying. Being with Ethan is easy. It's not glamorous or exciting, and it doesn't make my heart beat faster like being with Brian has since the moment I first saw him, but it's comfortable. When I'm with Ethan, I feel safe.
I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, but I can't keep playing these games any more. Even though it's my decision, I can still feel my heart breaking as I look at him across the dance floor one last time before leading Ethan out the door.
5. ETA: For zoisite84 An early Season 1 Drabble
lyric: I reject you, but I can't follow through / I'd forget you, but you'd end up tapping on my back door.
After Brian woke up with Justin in his bed for the ninth or tenth time, he wondered what it would take to convince this kid that he was a bad bet. To convince him that he didn't do boyfriends, he didn't do repeats, and they weren't a couple. For some reason, it never occurred to Brian that if he really meant any of those things, saying them wasn't enough. That he might have to actually stop bringing Justin home with him.
6. ETA: For reinabelle Another early Season 1 Drabble
lyric: Hear me now and don't forget, I'm not the man my actions would suggest.
He thinks I'm this great guy. So what if I gave him a place to stay for the night when his mother started following him around. Or if I went to the fucking GLC (I hate that place) when his sketches were in the art show. Or if I let him move in with me when his asshole father kicked him out. None of it means anything. That's not who I really am. Even my best friends will tell him that I'm a selfish prick; he shouldn't expect anything from me. Sooner or later, he'll figure out that they're right.
7. ETA: For just_for_kicks A post-314 Drabble
lyric: I am everything you wanted I am everything you need
When Brian woke up and looked at the nearly vacant space surrounding him, for a moment he felt as empty as his loft. What the fuck had possessed him to give up almost everything he owned?
Then he heard the toilet flushing. Justin came out of the bathroom, got into bed and leaned close enough to kiss him. As he rolled Justin over onto his back and deepened the kiss, he remembered what Justin had said the night before. He decided Justin was right. He hadn't given up anything that mattered. Everything he needed was right here in his arms.
Here are my 20 songs
1. I'm a tangled up puppet / Spinning round in knots / And the more I see what I used to be / The less of you I've got.
Tangled Up Puppet by Harry Chapin
2. Oh yeah! I want to bask in your golden light
Television by Bad Religion
3. It's been a hard day's night, and I been working like a dog
A Hard Day's Night by The Beatles
4. She wore faded jeans and soft black leather
It'll All Work Out by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
5. What kind of love have you got? / You should be home, but you're not / A room full of noise and dangerous boys / still makes you thirsty and hot
Victim of Love by The Eagles
6. I lived my life in shadow / Never the sun on my face
Under Your Spell from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Once More with Feeling
7. It's getting near dawn, / When lights close their tired eyes.
Sunshine of My Love by Cream
8. Heaven on Earth, we need it now / I'm sick of all of this hanging around
Peace on Earth by U2
9. I know what kind of love this is / After all, I was there when we made it
I Know What Kind of Love This Is by Cry Cry Cry
10. I never felt magic crazy as this
Northern Sky by Nick Drake
11. I'd gladly lose me to find you / I'd gladly give up all I had /To find you I'd suffer anything and be glad
Bargain by The Who
12. Some people stay far away from the door / If there's a chance of it opening up / They hear a voice in the hall outside / And hope that it just passes by
An Innocent Man by Billy Joel
13. Now that we love / Now that the lonely nights are over / How do we make love stay?
Make Love Stay by Dan Fogelberg
14. Yes indeed I'm alone again / and here comes emptiness crashing in
Another Lonely Day by Ben Harper
15. So cold today / Wind is blowing / You turn your face away / Can hardly see where you're going
Nowhere by Lucy Kaplansky
16. Yea, there was a time I didn't like the love, I liked the climbers,
As Cool As I Am by Dar Williams
17. Sailing along / The river of time / Adrift on dreams / Through midnight chimes
Never Blame The Rainbows For The Rain by Moody Blues
18. Eleven times I been busted, eleven times I been to jail
Double Trouble by Lynyrd Skynyrd
19. Your vicarious existence, it's a danger to us all / The way you sleepwalk through your life in a pixilated thrall
In Your Name by Kevin McCalix
(You probably never heard of him; it's my brother's stage name. If you're interested, you can get this song and the lyrics here)
20. One summer evening drunk to hell / I sat there nearly lifeless
A Pair Of Brown Eyes by The Pogues
The opening lyrics from 20 songs, chosen at random from my playlist, are listed under the cut. Pick one and write a brief little ficlet or drabble based on the lyric. And if any of my non-QAF friends want to join in, feel free to post something related to Buffy, Angel, Highlander, or even something completely original.
First, the fics I've posted in other people's journals:
1. For wide_ocean, I wrote a short 308 gapfiller
lyric: "I'm done denying the truth to anyone, 'cause I'm alive"
All I can think about is that kiss. What was it? What did it mean? Was he saying good-bye once and for all? Or was it his way of telling me he won't be giving up again?
Part of me thinks it would be easier if it was good-bye. Easier like the way, when he left, it was easier to for me to tell Lindsay, "I never loved him," than to admit how much I missed him. Easier like the way it was easier for me to tell Mikey, "I told him from day one, I don't believe in love," than to admit that Mikey was right, that I loved him more than anything.
Easier to live my life alone, to deny that I cared about him, than to risk getting hurt again.
When he left, I was sure that I wanted things easier. But ever since that kiss, I'm not sure anymore if that's what I want. It might be easier, but it's also lonely... empty.
I know that my refusal to admit that I cared was part of the reason why he left. If he comes back, I won't make that mistake again. But I also know that, when it comes to feelings, I'm a coward. If that kiss was good-bye, I will never admit how I feel. I won't have the courage unless he makes the first move.
So I wonder again, was the kiss good-bye... or hello?
Then there's a knock on my door.
"Mr. Kinney?"
I don't have to wonder anymore.
"Taylor. Come in. Sit down. You wanted to see me?"
2. For twistinside82, I wrote a much shorter 304 drabble
lyric: Hands touch, eyes meet, sudden silence, sudden heat.
His hands are touching mine, and I never want him to stop touching me.
I look into his eyes, and I want to stay like this forever.
It's been so long. I've missed this so much.
But I know it's not real. And I know that if I don't end this now, I'll never be able to let him go.
So I take a deep breath and ask him, "Shouldn't you be getting back to your boyfriend?"
3. For burnitbackwards I wrote a pre-series, Brian piece
lyric: He decided he'd be better off alone
There was nothing special about that night. It was exactly like so many nights before. The only difference was the reason. Other times it was because he left his bicycle in the driveway, because he forgot to hand in one of his assignments at school, because Father Flanagan thought he was a bad influence on the other altar boys. This time it was because he had taken the milk out at breakfast and had forgotten to put it away before leaving for school. By the time his father got home from work, the milk was spoiled.
He was sitting in his bedroom all alone, holding a bag of ice over his soon-to-be black eye and trying not to cry. Just like always, his mother came in and told him, "You know your father loves you. He wouldn't get so angry if he didn't love you so much."
It was exactly the same as so many nights before. Only this time something was different. This time Brian decided that he didn't believe in love. If that was what love was, it was better to be alone.
4. For shape5 A 220 Gapfiller
lyric: I touch the fire and it freezes me I look into it and it's black
I used to be so sure. No matter what anyone told me... no matter what he said himself... I knew he loved me. I knew it.
I don't have that anymore.
Ever since I woke up in the hospital and discovered that he hadn't come to see me even once, I've had doubts. When four more weeks passed and he still never came, those doubts continued to grow.
He let me come and stay with him, he bought me a computer, he's paying for school, he even agreed to my stupid rules. But was that love or guilt?
At times I've acted like a child, testing him, wanting to know... would he care if I broke those rules? If I pushed him away, would he come back? Would he let me come back? And if he did, was it because he loved me... or because he simply didn't care?
Sometimes I'm almost convinced that he must love me. He wouldn't do so much for me if he didn't. But then he'll do something else, and I'm just as convinced that he couldn't act that way if he really cared.
I used to be so sure. Now I don't know anything.
Sometime I feel like the real Justin died that night, and I'm just a shell that's been left in his place.
All I know is that I can't keep doing this anymore. I'm so tired of guessing, of trying to figure him out. Being with Brian is terrifying. Being with Ethan is easy. It's not glamorous or exciting, and it doesn't make my heart beat faster like being with Brian has since the moment I first saw him, but it's comfortable. When I'm with Ethan, I feel safe.
I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, but I can't keep playing these games any more. Even though it's my decision, I can still feel my heart breaking as I look at him across the dance floor one last time before leading Ethan out the door.
5. ETA: For zoisite84 An early Season 1 Drabble
lyric: I reject you, but I can't follow through / I'd forget you, but you'd end up tapping on my back door.
After Brian woke up with Justin in his bed for the ninth or tenth time, he wondered what it would take to convince this kid that he was a bad bet. To convince him that he didn't do boyfriends, he didn't do repeats, and they weren't a couple. For some reason, it never occurred to Brian that if he really meant any of those things, saying them wasn't enough. That he might have to actually stop bringing Justin home with him.
6. ETA: For reinabelle Another early Season 1 Drabble
lyric: Hear me now and don't forget, I'm not the man my actions would suggest.
He thinks I'm this great guy. So what if I gave him a place to stay for the night when his mother started following him around. Or if I went to the fucking GLC (I hate that place) when his sketches were in the art show. Or if I let him move in with me when his asshole father kicked him out. None of it means anything. That's not who I really am. Even my best friends will tell him that I'm a selfish prick; he shouldn't expect anything from me. Sooner or later, he'll figure out that they're right.
7. ETA: For just_for_kicks A post-314 Drabble
lyric: I am everything you wanted I am everything you need
When Brian woke up and looked at the nearly vacant space surrounding him, for a moment he felt as empty as his loft. What the fuck had possessed him to give up almost everything he owned?
Then he heard the toilet flushing. Justin came out of the bathroom, got into bed and leaned close enough to kiss him. As he rolled Justin over onto his back and deepened the kiss, he remembered what Justin had said the night before. He decided Justin was right. He hadn't given up anything that mattered. Everything he needed was right here in his arms.
Here are my 20 songs
1. I'm a tangled up puppet / Spinning round in knots / And the more I see what I used to be / The less of you I've got.
Tangled Up Puppet by Harry Chapin
2. Oh yeah! I want to bask in your golden light
Television by Bad Religion
3. It's been a hard day's night, and I been working like a dog
A Hard Day's Night by The Beatles
4. She wore faded jeans and soft black leather
It'll All Work Out by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
5. What kind of love have you got? / You should be home, but you're not / A room full of noise and dangerous boys / still makes you thirsty and hot
Victim of Love by The Eagles
6. I lived my life in shadow / Never the sun on my face
Under Your Spell from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Once More with Feeling
7. It's getting near dawn, / When lights close their tired eyes.
Sunshine of My Love by Cream
8. Heaven on Earth, we need it now / I'm sick of all of this hanging around
Peace on Earth by U2
9. I know what kind of love this is / After all, I was there when we made it
I Know What Kind of Love This Is by Cry Cry Cry
10. I never felt magic crazy as this
Northern Sky by Nick Drake
11. I'd gladly lose me to find you / I'd gladly give up all I had /To find you I'd suffer anything and be glad
Bargain by The Who
12. Some people stay far away from the door / If there's a chance of it opening up / They hear a voice in the hall outside / And hope that it just passes by
An Innocent Man by Billy Joel
13. Now that we love / Now that the lonely nights are over / How do we make love stay?
Make Love Stay by Dan Fogelberg
14. Yes indeed I'm alone again / and here comes emptiness crashing in
Another Lonely Day by Ben Harper
15. So cold today / Wind is blowing / You turn your face away / Can hardly see where you're going
Nowhere by Lucy Kaplansky
16. Yea, there was a time I didn't like the love, I liked the climbers,
As Cool As I Am by Dar Williams
17. Sailing along / The river of time / Adrift on dreams / Through midnight chimes
Never Blame The Rainbows For The Rain by Moody Blues
18. Eleven times I been busted, eleven times I been to jail
Double Trouble by Lynyrd Skynyrd
19. Your vicarious existence, it's a danger to us all / The way you sleepwalk through your life in a pixilated thrall
In Your Name by Kevin McCalix
(You probably never heard of him; it's my brother's stage name. If you're interested, you can get this song and the lyrics here)
20. One summer evening drunk to hell / I sat there nearly lifeless
A Pair Of Brown Eyes by The Pogues