Friends are over-rated.
Special Note: Originally this was a friends only entry. But recent events have decided me to change it to completely public. The person I am refering to is named Donna... She has proved to me in these last few days that I would find more of a friend in a piece of molding solidified shit then I was able to find in her in the last few months. I hope one day she realizes what a fucking bitch she is and, how her actions affect everyone around her.
I really want to write something I may regret, so in order to postpone the regret untill a later day someone may by some odd chance stumble upon this I made it a Friends Only Entry.
I spent like a fucking hour cleaning out the inside of my car yesterday. The first part of the annoyance was the fact that 50% of the mess in the back was from a single person, and that person was not me. So from that moment on the rest of the day I was slightly annoyed with that person. I mean christ, I am in the car literally 10 times more then this person, and half the mess was theirs? The numbers do not add up... at all...
So I make a special point to say something to that person without them realizing I am annoyed. I say I just cleaned my car so please take all trash with you. It was really meant for said person but I directed it to everyone so no one could feel like I was singling them out.
But at the end of the day when I am getting my bottle out of the car I find a fucking empty soda bottle and a fucking tea packet... I just spent a fucking hour cleaning my car and I made a special point to tell them, and they can't even show the respect to clean their fucking mess up. I mean christ how shitty is that.
Then it takes me to today. I made plans to hang out with this person's friend today. Since a show that we heard about was in a different location and I am short on cash and can't afford the gas to it we decided to just hang out. Well the person who I was refering to earlier said that they could not go to that show with us, I forget the exact reason why. But, well this person has found a way to hang out with the person I made plans with till well, its about 10pm right now, or close enough. The show would be ending around now anyways. Now how fucked up is that.
This person just wants to try to get their make out on with anything that even resembles the opposite sex. It gets real irritating to hear about their flavor of the week, who turns out to be seeing someone else, or is soon forgotten by another flavor that pops up prematurely. So they will not let the person who I made plans with to leave because they do not feel comfortable around the people they want to get their make-out on with by themself... So I've had a day of plans turn to complete shit.
I've probably could have done so many other things today but, all I've done was fucking take my brother to his fucking doctors appointment which was way too long. Pay a fucking late fee for this person... who should have taken their own fucking video rental back on their fucking own, and have been responsible. Then wait all... fucking...day... to... learn... I... wasted... a... day... waiting... and... being... mad...at... the... wrong... person... initially.
So I feel real bad now, because I was honestly debating not answering the phone when my actual good friend called a little bit ago. Oh and there the friend is now calling again. I feel real bad that I was mad at her. But the person who wanted to not go to a show last night with us for some fucked up reason, wants to invite herself to my house to watch a DVD with the other person.
This will be a fucking test of my anger problems. I really want to just fucking go off on this person, and I have been really trying hard to not get mad but this is real upsetting. I mean it was starting to upset me, I thought that the plans I made were being avoided or put off for reasons that were completely different, and after feeling shitty and almost mad, I feel real bad about that now.
I hate my little unsure low self esteem side of me. It makes me think that people don't like me. As much as I like to think that I have gotten over it, I haven't. It was obvious tonight because I thought I was being avoided for some stupid reason. I honestly didn't even have a single idea why I might be being avoided...
I've really relaxed now, this little journal entry has really helped me to vent a lot. And as much as I want to not post it in order so that the certain person doesn't read it. I really do not beleive in editing your thoughts and feelings. This is how I feel right now, not how I will feel in 10 minutes... or 2 days. So if that person is reading this, if it bothers you that I feel this way that much, then do something about it. It was all your doing, not mine.
For every action is an equal and opposite reaction.
Shit on me, I'll shit on you, just hope it isn't wet.
I really want to write something I may regret, so in order to postpone the regret untill a later day someone may by some odd chance stumble upon this I made it a Friends Only Entry.
I spent like a fucking hour cleaning out the inside of my car yesterday. The first part of the annoyance was the fact that 50% of the mess in the back was from a single person, and that person was not me. So from that moment on the rest of the day I was slightly annoyed with that person. I mean christ, I am in the car literally 10 times more then this person, and half the mess was theirs? The numbers do not add up... at all...
So I make a special point to say something to that person without them realizing I am annoyed. I say I just cleaned my car so please take all trash with you. It was really meant for said person but I directed it to everyone so no one could feel like I was singling them out.
But at the end of the day when I am getting my bottle out of the car I find a fucking empty soda bottle and a fucking tea packet... I just spent a fucking hour cleaning my car and I made a special point to tell them, and they can't even show the respect to clean their fucking mess up. I mean christ how shitty is that.
Then it takes me to today. I made plans to hang out with this person's friend today. Since a show that we heard about was in a different location and I am short on cash and can't afford the gas to it we decided to just hang out. Well the person who I was refering to earlier said that they could not go to that show with us, I forget the exact reason why. But, well this person has found a way to hang out with the person I made plans with till well, its about 10pm right now, or close enough. The show would be ending around now anyways. Now how fucked up is that.
This person just wants to try to get their make out on with anything that even resembles the opposite sex. It gets real irritating to hear about their flavor of the week, who turns out to be seeing someone else, or is soon forgotten by another flavor that pops up prematurely. So they will not let the person who I made plans with to leave because they do not feel comfortable around the people they want to get their make-out on with by themself... So I've had a day of plans turn to complete shit.
I've probably could have done so many other things today but, all I've done was fucking take my brother to his fucking doctors appointment which was way too long. Pay a fucking late fee for this person... who should have taken their own fucking video rental back on their fucking own, and have been responsible. Then wait all... fucking...day... to... learn... I... wasted... a... day... waiting... and... being... mad...at... the... wrong... person... initially.
So I feel real bad now, because I was honestly debating not answering the phone when my actual good friend called a little bit ago. Oh and there the friend is now calling again. I feel real bad that I was mad at her. But the person who wanted to not go to a show last night with us for some fucked up reason, wants to invite herself to my house to watch a DVD with the other person.
This will be a fucking test of my anger problems. I really want to just fucking go off on this person, and I have been really trying hard to not get mad but this is real upsetting. I mean it was starting to upset me, I thought that the plans I made were being avoided or put off for reasons that were completely different, and after feeling shitty and almost mad, I feel real bad about that now.
I hate my little unsure low self esteem side of me. It makes me think that people don't like me. As much as I like to think that I have gotten over it, I haven't. It was obvious tonight because I thought I was being avoided for some stupid reason. I honestly didn't even have a single idea why I might be being avoided...
I've really relaxed now, this little journal entry has really helped me to vent a lot. And as much as I want to not post it in order so that the certain person doesn't read it. I really do not beleive in editing your thoughts and feelings. This is how I feel right now, not how I will feel in 10 minutes... or 2 days. So if that person is reading this, if it bothers you that I feel this way that much, then do something about it. It was all your doing, not mine.
For every action is an equal and opposite reaction.
Shit on me, I'll shit on you, just hope it isn't wet.