I miss not crying.
I know I messed up, I know I wasn't thinking. I don't need people telling me those things, and my own mum calling me every name in the book. I need help right now, it's hard enough and I don't want it to be harder. Having nothing to do that night, I turned to, well you know. I always turn to that when there is nothing to do. Everytime I think about Brian I cry, I miss him so much, I think this is only going to bring us closer. We aren't bad kids, we just needed something to make us realize how bad what we were doing really was. I could say I'm gonna stop, but I don't think anyone would believe me cuz no one trusts me. I need to get back on my feet, eat again, stop laying in bed all day. It all feels like a dream, I hate it, I don't know what to do. Brian's parents don't even know me yet probably hate me. There is nothing for me to do, I wish there was, what I'm I supposed to do? I hate myself. So might as well have everyone hate me too, if you can't even like yourself, how do you expect other people to like you? Sorry everybody. A person is who they want to be, its built in their head, stubborn or not, they choose their path, they are their own person. I need Brian right now, he's the only one who would understand me, I don't get to talk to him till tomorrow. I care bout that boy so much right now, it's crazy. Please just help me, I don't wanna do this by myself even though it is my fault. Thanks Lea.