one dream fades... but another comes to the light.
so i have spent the better part of my first semester wondering what i will do when this ends. i had so many options to weigh.. so many things to consider, and i think i have come to a conclusion that in the end will work nicely. but in turn i will have to sacrifice things that are important to me.
i am moving home for the summer break. i will stay with my mom untill i return in the fall. i already have two jobs waiting for me in springfield. i am going back to my store... the tj maxx i started in. i have worked for tjx for two years, in three different locations. i prefer springfield the most. i will also go back to eisenhower. i miss swimming, and they pay well. my only concern here is that i dont have the body i once did, so being in a bathing suit will probably be embarassing.
while im home im going to buy a new car, and save money. this way when i come back to dekalb i can have my own place. i hate the dorms... i dont like sharing my space.
my reservations lye with being back in springfield for so long. i miss some of my friends, and its nice to see my family, but i have been on my own for so long. i hope things work out there. also, i will be so far away from chicago, and people that mean so much to me. jess is moving in with her parents, which is the most financially feasable option, but she will be so far away! also, i have recently found someone very special... as it is now we are an hour apart... but how are we going to work with three hundred miles between us? she is so amazing, and i dont want to lose her. if this works... i see us having something solid. damn... i really want her with me.
--- Sonnet: To Time---
Today we move in jade and cease with garnet
amid the ticking jeweled clocks that mark
our years. Death comes in a casual steel car, yet
we vaunt ours days in neon and scorn the dark.
but outside the diabolic steel of this
most plastic-windowed city, i can hear
the lone wind raving in the gutter, his
voice crying exclusion in my ear.
so cry for the pagan girl left picking olives
beside the sunblue sea, and mourn the flagon
raised to toast a thousand kings, for all gives
sorrow; weep for the legandary dragon.
times is a great machine of iron bars
that drains eternally the milk of stars.
-- sylvia Plath, collected poem (311)
i am moving home for the summer break. i will stay with my mom untill i return in the fall. i already have two jobs waiting for me in springfield. i am going back to my store... the tj maxx i started in. i have worked for tjx for two years, in three different locations. i prefer springfield the most. i will also go back to eisenhower. i miss swimming, and they pay well. my only concern here is that i dont have the body i once did, so being in a bathing suit will probably be embarassing.
while im home im going to buy a new car, and save money. this way when i come back to dekalb i can have my own place. i hate the dorms... i dont like sharing my space.
my reservations lye with being back in springfield for so long. i miss some of my friends, and its nice to see my family, but i have been on my own for so long. i hope things work out there. also, i will be so far away from chicago, and people that mean so much to me. jess is moving in with her parents, which is the most financially feasable option, but she will be so far away! also, i have recently found someone very special... as it is now we are an hour apart... but how are we going to work with three hundred miles between us? she is so amazing, and i dont want to lose her. if this works... i see us having something solid. damn... i really want her with me.
--- Sonnet: To Time---
Today we move in jade and cease with garnet
amid the ticking jeweled clocks that mark
our years. Death comes in a casual steel car, yet
we vaunt ours days in neon and scorn the dark.
but outside the diabolic steel of this
most plastic-windowed city, i can hear
the lone wind raving in the gutter, his
voice crying exclusion in my ear.
so cry for the pagan girl left picking olives
beside the sunblue sea, and mourn the flagon
raised to toast a thousand kings, for all gives
sorrow; weep for the legandary dragon.
times is a great machine of iron bars
that drains eternally the milk of stars.
-- sylvia Plath, collected poem (311)