my once-a-month post
but no promises.
the urge to blog is mostly gone, but when it strikes, i'll be back (:
i just wanna give thanks for so many things.
as i've shared with my those closer to me, this past 2 weeks have been the worst weeks of my life.
i've been immensely stressed out and also extremely exhausted (both mentally, physically and spiritually).
i say worst weeks because it's the first time in a long while that i've fought against God; i refused to let go and let God, i stubbornly wanted to do things my way. i've been self-glorifying, hypocritical, selfish, jealous and a whole host of other emotions i'm too ashamed to admit. i can't say that i've overcome all these emotions, because i'm still struggling with them, still struggling to love more, to glorify God in everything, to be true, to be sincere. but by His grace i'm slowly but surely getting there, and i really thank God for that.
i thank God also for causing my long-time feuding good friends to stop their cold war, for causing one of them to relent and talk to the other again, and for causing the other to gladly accept the "give-in" and wanting to build up the friendship again. it's been a difficult 6 months - for me as well as for both of them, and i'm just so so so glad it's all finally over, and i was really just beaming with joy and disbelief when i received the great news today. it was really a miracle; thank you Father. let us all be friends and not fight anymore :D
i'm also thankful that the stress of wongpartnership moots is all over (: it was a success, and although there were quite a few screw-ups and a whole lot of stress along the way (though sometimes the stress is self-induced), wongpartnership lawyers were a delight to work with (: and the judges for the finals, the honorable tribunal, was such a delight to talk to, i was pleasantly surprised (: and yes, i've gained a lot, just like how i did for mallals. and though i may complain and gripe when i'm actually going through all that stress, i really am thankful and glad kendra asked me to join mdc (: so, thanks kend (:
you know how when you are in the worst of moods, your family is always the one that bears the brunt of it all? i thank God for the patience of my parents and my sisters. my sisters, who don't snap back at me or start a quarrel with me when i snap at them for no reason at all, knowing that i am stressed and leaving me alone. my mom who stays up and waits for me when i get home late, who has to bear with me when the late-for-school-when-i'm-already-horribly-stressed temper flares, and still manages to smile and tells me to take care when i leave the house, who rushes into the room and asks so anxiously if i'm alright when i suddenly break down in the dead of the night. i love all of you. and i'm sorry i'm not home often enough. but i really really thank God for all of you - you'll have been there for me all my life, and i know you'll will continue to be.
i've been acutely aware of how terribly hard it was to be around me this past few weeks - i was constantly edgy, losing my temper all the time, getting into bad moods, feeling snappish and mean, breaking down... i wonder how my friends could stand me, all my mood swings, all my mean comments. but yet they have stood by me, encouraged me, offered their help in whatever way possible, and i really really really thank God for each and everyone of you - aiwern, timo, sikhi, suef, maine, ying, luke. true friends indeed, i count myself very blessed to call you guys my close friends (:
and time and time again, i cannot comprehend why God, when He has blessed me with all these good people/things, still blesses me with you. for i am undeserving and sinful, i fail Him time and again, i disobey, i am unfaithful, i am unbelieving, i am so unworthy. and yet He has given me you, and for that i am thankful. thank you for being my pillar of support, the one person i can call anytime, the one who has heard all my grievances, hushed away all my tears and fears. the one who is not afraid to be frank, to chide me if need be, who encourages me to do the right thing in God's eyes (and who tells me what that right thing is), who prays for me daily, who loves me for who i am.
and so i pray i continue to remember God's many blessings, and never take them for granted, realising that i do not deserve any of this at all. the next 2 weeks are not going to be easy - 3 assignments due, advocacy cup events - but by God's grace yeah? and at the end of the 2 weeks, i know i'll be able to look back and say "indeed, God is good" (:
the urge to blog is mostly gone, but when it strikes, i'll be back (:
i just wanna give thanks for so many things.
as i've shared with my those closer to me, this past 2 weeks have been the worst weeks of my life.
i've been immensely stressed out and also extremely exhausted (both mentally, physically and spiritually).
i say worst weeks because it's the first time in a long while that i've fought against God; i refused to let go and let God, i stubbornly wanted to do things my way. i've been self-glorifying, hypocritical, selfish, jealous and a whole host of other emotions i'm too ashamed to admit. i can't say that i've overcome all these emotions, because i'm still struggling with them, still struggling to love more, to glorify God in everything, to be true, to be sincere. but by His grace i'm slowly but surely getting there, and i really thank God for that.
i thank God also for causing my long-time feuding good friends to stop their cold war, for causing one of them to relent and talk to the other again, and for causing the other to gladly accept the "give-in" and wanting to build up the friendship again. it's been a difficult 6 months - for me as well as for both of them, and i'm just so so so glad it's all finally over, and i was really just beaming with joy and disbelief when i received the great news today. it was really a miracle; thank you Father. let us all be friends and not fight anymore :D
i'm also thankful that the stress of wongpartnership moots is all over (: it was a success, and although there were quite a few screw-ups and a whole lot of stress along the way (though sometimes the stress is self-induced), wongpartnership lawyers were a delight to work with (: and the judges for the finals, the honorable tribunal, was such a delight to talk to, i was pleasantly surprised (: and yes, i've gained a lot, just like how i did for mallals. and though i may complain and gripe when i'm actually going through all that stress, i really am thankful and glad kendra asked me to join mdc (: so, thanks kend (:
you know how when you are in the worst of moods, your family is always the one that bears the brunt of it all? i thank God for the patience of my parents and my sisters. my sisters, who don't snap back at me or start a quarrel with me when i snap at them for no reason at all, knowing that i am stressed and leaving me alone. my mom who stays up and waits for me when i get home late, who has to bear with me when the late-for-school-when-i'm-already-horribly-stressed temper flares, and still manages to smile and tells me to take care when i leave the house, who rushes into the room and asks so anxiously if i'm alright when i suddenly break down in the dead of the night. i love all of you. and i'm sorry i'm not home often enough. but i really really thank God for all of you - you'll have been there for me all my life, and i know you'll will continue to be.
i've been acutely aware of how terribly hard it was to be around me this past few weeks - i was constantly edgy, losing my temper all the time, getting into bad moods, feeling snappish and mean, breaking down... i wonder how my friends could stand me, all my mood swings, all my mean comments. but yet they have stood by me, encouraged me, offered their help in whatever way possible, and i really really really thank God for each and everyone of you - aiwern, timo, sikhi, suef, maine, ying, luke. true friends indeed, i count myself very blessed to call you guys my close friends (:
and time and time again, i cannot comprehend why God, when He has blessed me with all these good people/things, still blesses me with you. for i am undeserving and sinful, i fail Him time and again, i disobey, i am unfaithful, i am unbelieving, i am so unworthy. and yet He has given me you, and for that i am thankful. thank you for being my pillar of support, the one person i can call anytime, the one who has heard all my grievances, hushed away all my tears and fears. the one who is not afraid to be frank, to chide me if need be, who encourages me to do the right thing in God's eyes (and who tells me what that right thing is), who prays for me daily, who loves me for who i am.
and so i pray i continue to remember God's many blessings, and never take them for granted, realising that i do not deserve any of this at all. the next 2 weeks are not going to be easy - 3 assignments due, advocacy cup events - but by God's grace yeah? and at the end of the 2 weeks, i know i'll be able to look back and say "indeed, God is good" (: