(no subject)
So my Great Grandma passed away this morning. Apparently the nurses had her in her wheelchair, gave her her medication, then she just put her head down and quietly died.
The thing is that I'm not very sad about it. I haven't shed a tear, and I don't expect I will. Don't get me wrong -- I loved her very dearly and will miss her. But my Great Grandma was 97, and she's been ready to go for a long time. Ever since my Great Grandpa passed away over 20 years ago, she's been complaining about missing him and wanting to be with him. Then, a couple of years ago she had a stroke, and after a long stay in a hospital she had to be moved into a full-time care facility (though it's remarkable that she lived in her own home until she was about 95). She's been just sort of living her life out in a bed and a wheelchair ever since, not really conscious of the world around her. It was so sad to see her that way, and I can't help but feel that it's merciful that she's finally been allowed to move on.
There aren't many 29-year olds who get to say they have a living great grandmother, and I definitely feel fortunate to have had her in my life this long. But I have many fond memories of her to carry with me, and she's gone to a better place and was long overdue to do so. I'm happy for her. I just wish I didn't feel so guilty about not being very sad at the loss of a loved one.
Rest in peace, Great Grandma. I love you.
The thing is that I'm not very sad about it. I haven't shed a tear, and I don't expect I will. Don't get me wrong -- I loved her very dearly and will miss her. But my Great Grandma was 97, and she's been ready to go for a long time. Ever since my Great Grandpa passed away over 20 years ago, she's been complaining about missing him and wanting to be with him. Then, a couple of years ago she had a stroke, and after a long stay in a hospital she had to be moved into a full-time care facility (though it's remarkable that she lived in her own home until she was about 95). She's been just sort of living her life out in a bed and a wheelchair ever since, not really conscious of the world around her. It was so sad to see her that way, and I can't help but feel that it's merciful that she's finally been allowed to move on.
There aren't many 29-year olds who get to say they have a living great grandmother, and I definitely feel fortunate to have had her in my life this long. But I have many fond memories of her to carry with me, and she's gone to a better place and was long overdue to do so. I'm happy for her. I just wish I didn't feel so guilty about not being very sad at the loss of a loved one.
Rest in peace, Great Grandma. I love you.