i have just diagnosed myself with cancer of the spirit. =)
Bloody hell.
Why am i so frustrated.
I feel like an ingrown toeanail.
I am twisting my nerves to the point where they cant take the stress and are threatening to break and splinter.
I feel like all my emotional tissues are inflamed and swollen with fluid.
im going to burst.
I have never WANTED to cry so badly.
I just want a release.
i want a vacumme in my little soul.
i dont know what has been bugging me for the last few days.
....well acttually i do.
but im not fully understanding why it makes me so upset.
Its somthing i cant really talkabout to anyone; not because its a sore subject, but because its rediculous to get so upset about it. its so rediculous to feel so sick from it all that it makes me throw up.
when ever i start thinking, my heart starts racing rapidly and my stomache writhes in agony and i feel like screaming.
i want to curl up insomeones arms.
like. a bears arms.
i want to have a pet bear.
a bear that felt so much sympathy for me.
bloody hell, im so selfish.
Hope reminds me of Love Spell.
...
I feel so isolated.
i feel so lonly.
and like always, i feel so disconnected from everyone else.
damn it damn it damn it damn it.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
i hate ranting in livejournal.
it doesnt help for shit.
i sit in this mind frame where i so believe that "when you write out what youre emotions you feel better"
but, as i write things down and slowly figure things out, all my itty bitty paints just become more stagnant and impassable
well.
anaywaysysy.
Bethany and i hung oout alot latly.
i never got bored.
we found a baby goose.
Its name is GANDER.
come see it.
we are the motheres.
my room is rotting.
im going to hell.
i love everyone that loves me.
so does this mean i am loving?
Why am i so frustrated.
I feel like an ingrown toeanail.
I am twisting my nerves to the point where they cant take the stress and are threatening to break and splinter.
I feel like all my emotional tissues are inflamed and swollen with fluid.
im going to burst.
I have never WANTED to cry so badly.
I just want a release.
i want a vacumme in my little soul.
i dont know what has been bugging me for the last few days.
....well acttually i do.
but im not fully understanding why it makes me so upset.
Its somthing i cant really talkabout to anyone; not because its a sore subject, but because its rediculous to get so upset about it. its so rediculous to feel so sick from it all that it makes me throw up.
when ever i start thinking, my heart starts racing rapidly and my stomache writhes in agony and i feel like screaming.
i want to curl up insomeones arms.
like. a bears arms.
i want to have a pet bear.
a bear that felt so much sympathy for me.
bloody hell, im so selfish.
Hope reminds me of Love Spell.
...
I feel so isolated.
i feel so lonly.
and like always, i feel so disconnected from everyone else.
damn it damn it damn it damn it.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
i hate ranting in livejournal.
it doesnt help for shit.
i sit in this mind frame where i so believe that "when you write out what youre emotions you feel better"
but, as i write things down and slowly figure things out, all my itty bitty paints just become more stagnant and impassable
well.
anaywaysysy.
Bethany and i hung oout alot latly.
i never got bored.
we found a baby goose.
Its name is GANDER.
come see it.
we are the motheres.
my room is rotting.
im going to hell.
i love everyone that loves me.
so does this mean i am loving?