➹ 07 SPAM

[peektuttut]

[As strange as this little town was, it wasn't outright dangerous; and though he'd LOVE to get away from those hearts and those creepy cupids, it was definitely nice to stretch his legs outside of a gymnasium. Or that CES place. After the taking some solace in the casino and the library, Tim meandered back to the town's center, sitting at a pretty

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[always_thewoman]

[And, quick as a wish, Irene - who had been flitting about the town in a love-struck daze - neatly deposited herself in Tim's lap. She didn't know who this kid was or why he was sitting alone on a day like today, but she did know one thing: She loved him. She smiled.]

Hello. I've been looking for you.

[peektuttut]

[Oh dear God there was a beautiful woman in his lap.

He had no idea who she was.

She was seriously beautiful.

This could not end well.]

Uh. [Tim is a smart, smart boy.] You...have? I don't, uh - I don't think I know you...

[always_thewoman]

[Poor Tim. Poor, dear, doomed Tim.

Irene likes to think she's totally benign]

Well, not in the biblical sense. But, you know, we're not leaving port until Sunday. [Irene pinches his cheek] You seem nice. I do so prefer nice people to unpleasant ones. You will be nice to me, won't you?

[peektuttut]

[Tim knows just about enough of the Bible to know that Adam and Eve knew each other pretty damn thoroughly. That pinched cheek is totally warming and no, of course he isn't blushing.]

Uh - yeah, of course, but - I don't think this is a - good idea? [Doomed. DOOMED.]

[always_thewoman]

[Irene scoffs at your morality! And finds Tim's bumbling adorable, in a seventh-grade-boyfriend kind of way. But then again, WHO DOESN'T?]

'Good', 'bad', those are just labels we put on things. Besides... don't you like me? [There may be shining eyes, oh, God, yes, those eyes are definitely glimmering with moisture]

[peektuttut]

[Well, everyone loves a man in tights. ...Even when he isn't wearing tights. AND THAT SHIMMERING WAS NOT FAIR. Tim shifted, hands just kind of hovering to either side. He had no idea where to put them.]

I - I don't even know you? [Shining eyes were bad signs.] But I - uh - I'm sure you're great?

[always_thewoman]

[This is true! Also, Irene is ALL KINDS OF UNFAIR to ALL KINDS OF MEN in K-Town. Crocodile tears is the smallest weapon in her arsenal. Also, Irene knew where those hands were meant to go, and it was her waist. She placed them there, then wrapped her arms around Tim's neck.]

I am, really, I am. And so are you. Would you like to kiss me now?

[peektuttut]

[Tim never thought he'd find himself in a situation where he needed an adult. After fighting bad guys with ridiculous themes for five years, this was at the end of his list of concerns. He kept his hands on her waist - lightly - thinking that maybe he could just lift her off.]

Yeah - uh, I mean, no! I don't even know your name!

[always_thewoman]

[Irene sighed. Seriously, kid? You're gonna be THAT GUY? The one that insists on NAMES? No game, I'm telling you. No. Game.]

My name is Irene. You may tell me yours if you feel you must. Or not. Either way.

[peektuttut]

[Oh yes. The Boy Virgin was definitely THAT guy.]

Uh - I'm Tim. And I think - really, I think this is probably a really bad idea. [Were those hearts multiplying. Yes. Yes they were. God damn it.]

[always_thewoman]

[Irene was petting his neck, now.]

Tim. Dear. You need to relax. I mean, really. It's Kissing Town.

[Aaaaaand dazzling smile, oh, yeah, she has one.]

[peektuttut]

[...She really does. Holy crap, she does, and it's making Tim fall silent for a moment before shaking his head.] I'm not really, uh....that kind of guy. Can - you get off my lap? [Not the politest way to phrase it, but Alfred would forgive him.]

[always_thewoman]

[Irene stared up at him for a moment, trying to read his expression. She resignedly removed herself from Tim's lap, but grasped his hands as she did so, pulling him so that he was standing facing her. She put a hand to his cheek kindly.]

Oh, Tim. You are sweet. I'll be going now. I do hope that you find someone as kind as yourself.

[She leaned up on tiptoe to kiss him chastely - because chaste is how Tim does things. And, with that, she swirls off in a froth of pink skirts, whistling]

[peektuttut]

[He didn't really have time to choke anything out before she left, a little too stunned to find anything proper to say. Holy crap, what just happened?

Enough sitting around out in the open, he was going somewhere to hide from those cupids again.]