I can't go anywhere without my...
....
But like most days - my head is just full of unfinished thoughts. Colbie Callait's song is playing. Making me sad-ish.
Today I read the Wikipedia on "Blog" which I did not know was short for Web Log...
(Look at me learning something new.)
I am having a day I tell you.
It snowed, late April snows are weird. Everything was just starting to turn green, and then the snow falls like fluffy white out on springs mistake. As if a little snow could erase the green starting to show.
But it does.
For a moment the world is grumpy. People don't smile, and they forget the more then seasonal temperatures of the last weeks. We frown, and turn up our noses, as if it will stay.
I also have found a new song to torment me, because I seem to be stuck in this place where I pretend to be broken hearted.
It is more then a little annoying, and for the first time in my long career of break ups - I can not remember the bad times.
(I think when Billy and I broke up, he actually told me it had to end before all he had was bad memories... but I don't know if that actually happens.)
So meet my new passtime - Breakeven, by The Script
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven
Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no
What am I suppose to do
When the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say
When I'm all choked up and you're okay
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no
What am I gonna do
When the best part of me was always you
And what am I suppose to say
When I'm all choked up and you're okay
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven)
You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh
'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break
No it don't break, no it don't breakeven, no
What am I gonna do
When the best part of me was always you
And what am I supposed to say
When I'm all choked up and you're okay
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven)
Oh, it don't breakeven, no
Oh, it don't breakeven, no
Oh, it don't breakeven, no
It's funny to me, because even as I read it, I know that I am not actually that torn up.
But I love that someone put it all into words.
I get it... completely!! but I do not feel it.
So then I have to wonder if that is why I chose alot of the songs that I love.
Do I just love the misery of their lyrics? Or do I actually feel like the song was written on my behalf.
The mind is a funny thing. It can make you believe in love, and romance, and fairies, and feelings. But it does not leave a clear indication of which ones are real.
Or what real is for that matter... not that I am trying to justify one of the most thought about questions... but the real me is different than the real you.
BLAH - I need to go do some work, and get out of this place. Not this physical place, but the mental one.
But like most days - my head is just full of unfinished thoughts. Colbie Callait's song is playing. Making me sad-ish.
Today I read the Wikipedia on "Blog" which I did not know was short for Web Log...
(Look at me learning something new.)
I am having a day I tell you.
It snowed, late April snows are weird. Everything was just starting to turn green, and then the snow falls like fluffy white out on springs mistake. As if a little snow could erase the green starting to show.
But it does.
For a moment the world is grumpy. People don't smile, and they forget the more then seasonal temperatures of the last weeks. We frown, and turn up our noses, as if it will stay.
I also have found a new song to torment me, because I seem to be stuck in this place where I pretend to be broken hearted.
It is more then a little annoying, and for the first time in my long career of break ups - I can not remember the bad times.
(I think when Billy and I broke up, he actually told me it had to end before all he had was bad memories... but I don't know if that actually happens.)
So meet my new passtime - Breakeven, by The Script
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven
Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no
What am I suppose to do
When the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say
When I'm all choked up and you're okay
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no
What am I gonna do
When the best part of me was always you
And what am I suppose to say
When I'm all choked up and you're okay
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven)
You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh
'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break
No it don't break, no it don't breakeven, no
What am I gonna do
When the best part of me was always you
And what am I supposed to say
When I'm all choked up and you're okay
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven)
Oh, it don't breakeven, no
Oh, it don't breakeven, no
Oh, it don't breakeven, no
It's funny to me, because even as I read it, I know that I am not actually that torn up.
But I love that someone put it all into words.
I get it... completely!! but I do not feel it.
So then I have to wonder if that is why I chose alot of the songs that I love.
Do I just love the misery of their lyrics? Or do I actually feel like the song was written on my behalf.
The mind is a funny thing. It can make you believe in love, and romance, and fairies, and feelings. But it does not leave a clear indication of which ones are real.
Or what real is for that matter... not that I am trying to justify one of the most thought about questions... but the real me is different than the real you.
BLAH - I need to go do some work, and get out of this place. Not this physical place, but the mental one.