(no subject)
I put the bracelette back on.
I suppose there is some symbolism in that. I take it off when I am angry, frustrated, sad or depressed over him. Putting it back on must have some small reference to the fact that I am feeling better about our friendship.
Talking last night definately helped make things more clear. I realize that we both have a long way to go before we are even close to capable of having a functioning friendship but I am relieved to discover we are both incredibly willing to work for it.
I really thought that he didn't care, that I was wasting my time, that I should just give up. I didn't want to waste my time on false hope. I felt useless and unwanted. I didn't matter.
I can't say that this feeling won't come back. It will. I will become insecure, worried, afraid and disappointed. It's a pattern I can't seem to escape. However, I am going to try my hardest to make this friendship work. I can't think of anything I want more. Everything will be okay. In the end, I know we are suppose to be best friends.
I suppose there is some symbolism in that. I take it off when I am angry, frustrated, sad or depressed over him. Putting it back on must have some small reference to the fact that I am feeling better about our friendship.
Talking last night definately helped make things more clear. I realize that we both have a long way to go before we are even close to capable of having a functioning friendship but I am relieved to discover we are both incredibly willing to work for it.
I really thought that he didn't care, that I was wasting my time, that I should just give up. I didn't want to waste my time on false hope. I felt useless and unwanted. I didn't matter.
I can't say that this feeling won't come back. It will. I will become insecure, worried, afraid and disappointed. It's a pattern I can't seem to escape. However, I am going to try my hardest to make this friendship work. I can't think of anything I want more. Everything will be okay. In the end, I know we are suppose to be best friends.