(no subject)

[peeeeeaches]

well.. today was ok at first.. then yesterday johnny wanted me to go to the pit so i said hold ill call lauren but her line was busy...so i talked to her in school today n shes like yeah its a party lets go! so im like ok orthadontist at 4 but i can hang out later i jsut have to tel my mom im sleeping but then kristen n lauren semi fight..they got pissed at eachother...brittany and kristen decided to hang out today and then lauren took wills bus home which hapens to be randys bus also..so i had no place to tlel my mom i was going so i could sneek to the pit.. well i got soooo sad when i got home.. my dad picked me up at the bus stop n took me out to lunch cause.. well hes my dad.. hes fucking awsome.. i love him.. then i got home n hysterically cried which is veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy rare.. and i had those emo thoughts in my head cause i have sooo many friends but sometimes it jsut feels like i have none.. and im soo lonely inside.. anway..so before i could do something stupid.. i called megan.. i lvoe her she always makes me feel better.. so i call her .. left a message and she called me back.. i then explained my situation as i was crying again and shes like aw i love you dont ever let those thoughts run threw your head again.. cause you know when everyyyyyything is going wrong and theres nothing in the world left to live for because you honestly dont give a shit bout anything.. well it was like that.. so megan was like dude come out with me n my buddies n i felt bad i didnt wana tag along unwanted.. but its my softball buddies.. ally, felicia and molly and and them and they said yay so i ghuess im officially wanted and im "cool".. anway so john jsut called n asked how i am i said u no when u cried for soo long that your tired of everything and your tone of voice is the same for everything hes like yeah.. n i said i feel like that.. cause i go outtttta my way for my friends.. seriously i lvoe them with all my heart for ever and always id do anything for them.. but whenever i need something .. no ones therte to cover for me.. so i feel so used .. i guess.. he cheered me up cause hes john and he naterally does that and he made me gigle and all and said he shall call me later i said alright.. n before that lauren called and said everyone wants me to be there.. but i think i already said that..anyway.. so now im getting ready and megs guna pick me up n were going to applebees.. then kohls or something.. maybe even target.. jsut because its funny in those stores with friends.. and uah i feel like shit and i jsut blah.. but i hate letting people know how i hoesntly feel cause im suposed to care n worry bout my friends.. i should be the least of their problems .. they dont need to be worrying bout me and my little problems in life.. millions of people have it worse.. plus bush won today.. so my conclusion is.. my birthday is this sunday.. and so far im having a lovely fucking time.. not..
~toodles
p.s i love megan and ally and lauren n johnny n pj and all my real friends who know somethings wrong without me telling them and make me happy.. cause there amazing and i love all of you.. im sorry but im tired of those fake, rude, liers that try to be my friend.. i fucking hatpeople like thatso fukc off you meanies..