(no subject)
im just waiting for something amazing happen.
to stun, to prick, wait
wide eyed: counteracting misery with hope, denial with abuse and torture with escape
i am truly happy, hear it beat.
i want it to come find me, to capture me, tell me amazing nothings, whisper it, breathe it, define me.
by my clothes, hair, eyes, shoes, socks, touch.
define me.
i capture emptiness, memories and cool breezes, i love the late nights of spoiled and savoured dreams, i watch you move and wait for the inspiration, i stare at my hands when i drive to see if i am giving any of it away, i let my happiness overwhelm me and my pain disguise me, i smile at my collections and waver in the midst of our memories, i reach out to him and expect recourse, i smile when i feel your obligation, i sit on your lounge all day and read our books, you dont ask me to leave but understand the comfort, you make me toast, i like you more then i like the rest of them. but enough about you, tangent, digress, catch up. blurry eyed i type my tangent, elephant box wont yet be a memory, you buy me pretty things, i think im getting better at being a daughter, and you are getting better at being my father, i know in there, deep, you want more then my complacency, you wont mind if i shrug off my destination in favour of the unknown, i know you care somewhere deep, in you and in her. i dont miss you, sometimes i dont hate you. this. right here. it was harder for you. tangent. if i could share a beating moment with you i would, if i could breathe you in i would, if i could pretend to be asleep and feel your kiss i would, but i cant because your simplicity drowns me, yet this complexity drains me, feel it as it drips. drip. drip. catch it on your tongue and attach it to the moon, i am not ready for your embrace, i remember carpet, ground, looking up and your smile, i remember five hours, telephone me, i remember us, you, me, happiness, i also remember, doors, slam, sadness. i broke this, i dont know what i miss yet, more time please. tangent. i like that you dont push this. us, me, you. its more simple to a boy with no intentions. its less of a thing then like, less distinct, less particular. stolen. capture me, this smile.
in there. i know your breathing.
to stun, to prick, wait
wide eyed: counteracting misery with hope, denial with abuse and torture with escape
i am truly happy, hear it beat.
i want it to come find me, to capture me, tell me amazing nothings, whisper it, breathe it, define me.
by my clothes, hair, eyes, shoes, socks, touch.
define me.
i capture emptiness, memories and cool breezes, i love the late nights of spoiled and savoured dreams, i watch you move and wait for the inspiration, i stare at my hands when i drive to see if i am giving any of it away, i let my happiness overwhelm me and my pain disguise me, i smile at my collections and waver in the midst of our memories, i reach out to him and expect recourse, i smile when i feel your obligation, i sit on your lounge all day and read our books, you dont ask me to leave but understand the comfort, you make me toast, i like you more then i like the rest of them. but enough about you, tangent, digress, catch up. blurry eyed i type my tangent, elephant box wont yet be a memory, you buy me pretty things, i think im getting better at being a daughter, and you are getting better at being my father, i know in there, deep, you want more then my complacency, you wont mind if i shrug off my destination in favour of the unknown, i know you care somewhere deep, in you and in her. i dont miss you, sometimes i dont hate you. this. right here. it was harder for you. tangent. if i could share a beating moment with you i would, if i could breathe you in i would, if i could pretend to be asleep and feel your kiss i would, but i cant because your simplicity drowns me, yet this complexity drains me, feel it as it drips. drip. drip. catch it on your tongue and attach it to the moon, i am not ready for your embrace, i remember carpet, ground, looking up and your smile, i remember five hours, telephone me, i remember us, you, me, happiness, i also remember, doors, slam, sadness. i broke this, i dont know what i miss yet, more time please. tangent. i like that you dont push this. us, me, you. its more simple to a boy with no intentions. its less of a thing then like, less distinct, less particular. stolen. capture me, this smile.
in there. i know your breathing.