(no subject)
I read all of your posts, guys, for the record. Even those highly personal, way too long ones. I just don't comment on them because that would require a modicum of effort, and I can't be bothered.
Things and stuff. I'm finding that less and less matters as much as my love for the people in my life. So if I have a crappy day at work, I have to leave it at work because life is too short for me to snap at Derek. I love him more than I ever have.
I get to see Abby every day and Gerry most days. I am living the dream.
I cannot squat to tie my shoe or be eye-level with a child without immediately having four of them climb on me. It is a feeling of overwhelming importance and love, and I try to create it at least once a day; twice if I'm in a foul mood.
My 4s graduate in May. I don't ever want to see them again because I don't want to know if things in their lives don't turn out perfectly. I can't decide if this is protecting my idealism or crushing it.
I've been mad at God for six months and today the bubble popped and I realized that I am exhausted from going through the motions. I know all of the pat answers to the questions I've had and the answers have not satisfied me. I completely faked my way through the process of growth and understanding because I know what it looks like. I decided today that I'm through pretending like I know. I am surrounded by talk of hermeneutics, Calvinism vs. Arminianism , hard questions, and heated conversations with people whose ideas are based on what they feel rather than facts. So I'm done with all of it. Slate's clean. All I got now is this: love God, love people.
Brian McLaren spoke at Highland Baptist on Sunday. I liked what he said, but can't support it because he was a jerk. Everyone was a jerk. The church was so beautiful that I took a brochure anyway. I worry that it's wrong for me to put so much focus on the aesthetic of the church building.
I don't sleep much and my loopy updates are not so fun anymore. I guess I'm growing up.
Things and stuff. I'm finding that less and less matters as much as my love for the people in my life. So if I have a crappy day at work, I have to leave it at work because life is too short for me to snap at Derek. I love him more than I ever have.
I get to see Abby every day and Gerry most days. I am living the dream.
I cannot squat to tie my shoe or be eye-level with a child without immediately having four of them climb on me. It is a feeling of overwhelming importance and love, and I try to create it at least once a day; twice if I'm in a foul mood.
My 4s graduate in May. I don't ever want to see them again because I don't want to know if things in their lives don't turn out perfectly. I can't decide if this is protecting my idealism or crushing it.
I've been mad at God for six months and today the bubble popped and I realized that I am exhausted from going through the motions. I know all of the pat answers to the questions I've had and the answers have not satisfied me. I completely faked my way through the process of growth and understanding because I know what it looks like. I decided today that I'm through pretending like I know. I am surrounded by talk of hermeneutics, Calvinism vs. Arminianism , hard questions, and heated conversations with people whose ideas are based on what they feel rather than facts. So I'm done with all of it. Slate's clean. All I got now is this: love God, love people.
Brian McLaren spoke at Highland Baptist on Sunday. I liked what he said, but can't support it because he was a jerk. Everyone was a jerk. The church was so beautiful that I took a brochure anyway. I worry that it's wrong for me to put so much focus on the aesthetic of the church building.
I don't sleep much and my loopy updates are not so fun anymore. I guess I'm growing up.