(no subject)
Emily just wrote my final mythology paper for me.
TheUniscorn: ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS THIS GUY. AND INSTEAD OF BOINKING O THE SCIENTIST, HE GOT MIXED UP WITH SOME CHICK. THEN HE MADE SOME LIGHTS AND NOBODY THOUGHT THEY WERE BEAUTIFUL. SO ALONG CAME A SPIDER WITH A SEXY VOICE AND SAT DOWN BESIDE HER AND CONVINCED HIM TO BURN THAT SHIT TO THE GROUND. SO HE DID. THEN THEY SENT TOBA THE TURA TO GO BUTTFUCK HIM AND SEND HIM TO THE DARKNESS, WHILE EVERYONE ELSE FOUND A NEW PLACE TO LIVE. SO A HUNDRED YEARS LATER, THERE ARE THESE TWO BROTHERS. PALLIS IS TOTES GAY FOR THE YOUNGER ONE, ADAKIAS. BUT ADAKIAS WANTS TO BE A FAGGOT IN THE LIGHT, SO HE RUNS AWAY AFTER THEY SING A SEXY SONG. WHEN HE REACHES THE CITY OF LIGHT, HE ALSO FALLS IN LOVE WITH SOME CHICK NAMED ANHURA WHO IS THE PRINCESS. SO THEY GO SEE THE FAGGOTKING AND HE DOESN'T WANT THEM TO GET MARRIED. SO THEY'RE ALL LIKE "LOL LET'S RUN AWAY TOGETHER~" BUT ANHURA GETS SICK BECAUSE ADAKIAS IS FROM THE DARK AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW AND THAT APPARENTLY MADE HER SICK. SO THEY GO TO SEE THE DOCTOR ACROSS THE MOUNTAINS TO HEAL THE PRINCESS. AND THEY GET THERE, AND HE DOCTOR IS ALL "LOL I'LL HEAL HER BUT I WANT HER TO BE MY COCKSLAVE FOREVER AND EVER" SO THEY AGREE BECAUSE THAT'S VERY ROMANTIC. BUT THEN PALLIS BUSTS IN THE DOOR, AND THE DOCTOR DISAPPEARS OR SOMETHING. THEY SING A V. V. V. SEXY SONG ABOUT HOW PALLIS FOLLOWED THEM BECAUSE HE WAS A JEALOUS SHIT AND WOULDN'T SHARE ADAKIAS. SO HE GOES TO STAB ANHURA BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THEY ROLL IN THE GHETTO DARK. BUT ADAKIAS FUCKS IT UP AND JUMPS IN FRONT OF THE WAY. IN THE END, HE DIES BUT EVERYTHING GOES BACK TO NORMAL AND THE LIGHT AND DARK JOIN TOGETHER LIKE TWO GAY BOYS IN A BATHROOM STALL AND ALL IS WELL. THE END.
TheUniscorn: ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS THIS GUY. AND INSTEAD OF BOINKING O THE SCIENTIST, HE GOT MIXED UP WITH SOME CHICK. THEN HE MADE SOME LIGHTS AND NOBODY THOUGHT THEY WERE BEAUTIFUL. SO ALONG CAME A SPIDER WITH A SEXY VOICE AND SAT DOWN BESIDE HER AND CONVINCED HIM TO BURN THAT SHIT TO THE GROUND. SO HE DID. THEN THEY SENT TOBA THE TURA TO GO BUTTFUCK HIM AND SEND HIM TO THE DARKNESS, WHILE EVERYONE ELSE FOUND A NEW PLACE TO LIVE. SO A HUNDRED YEARS LATER, THERE ARE THESE TWO BROTHERS. PALLIS IS TOTES GAY FOR THE YOUNGER ONE, ADAKIAS. BUT ADAKIAS WANTS TO BE A FAGGOT IN THE LIGHT, SO HE RUNS AWAY AFTER THEY SING A SEXY SONG. WHEN HE REACHES THE CITY OF LIGHT, HE ALSO FALLS IN LOVE WITH SOME CHICK NAMED ANHURA WHO IS THE PRINCESS. SO THEY GO SEE THE FAGGOTKING AND HE DOESN'T WANT THEM TO GET MARRIED. SO THEY'RE ALL LIKE "LOL LET'S RUN AWAY TOGETHER~" BUT ANHURA GETS SICK BECAUSE ADAKIAS IS FROM THE DARK AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW AND THAT APPARENTLY MADE HER SICK. SO THEY GO TO SEE THE DOCTOR ACROSS THE MOUNTAINS TO HEAL THE PRINCESS. AND THEY GET THERE, AND HE DOCTOR IS ALL "LOL I'LL HEAL HER BUT I WANT HER TO BE MY COCKSLAVE FOREVER AND EVER" SO THEY AGREE BECAUSE THAT'S VERY ROMANTIC. BUT THEN PALLIS BUSTS IN THE DOOR, AND THE DOCTOR DISAPPEARS OR SOMETHING. THEY SING A V. V. V. SEXY SONG ABOUT HOW PALLIS FOLLOWED THEM BECAUSE HE WAS A JEALOUS SHIT AND WOULDN'T SHARE ADAKIAS. SO HE GOES TO STAB ANHURA BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THEY ROLL IN THE GHETTO DARK. BUT ADAKIAS FUCKS IT UP AND JUMPS IN FRONT OF THE WAY. IN THE END, HE DIES BUT EVERYTHING GOES BACK TO NORMAL AND THE LIGHT AND DARK JOIN TOGETHER LIKE TWO GAY BOYS IN A BATHROOM STALL AND ALL IS WELL. THE END.