Somehow, something as mundane as an immature post-it war got her to crack a smile. It didn't hold much more than a second, but she knew Falcon and Falcon wasn't someone who was going to just walk away from this, regardless if he was on the phone or in person. He would push her just as much as she pushed him.
"...I needed it." Samus answered finally. Talking about these sorts of things was especially hard for her. She and Snake never really did either until... things weren't working out. Even then, both of them seemed to keep a reserved distance when it came to personal feelings and personal history. Out of respect or... fear? Samus couldn't tell. There were many things left unsaid. A lot of stories not shared. All she could tell was that it wasn't working anymore.
"I didn't drink anything after I left your place that night... I didn't eat. I sat in the shower until the water ran cold, and then some. I moped. It was pathetic. I was pathetic." Samus quietly admitted.
"I got sick of it and spent all day Friday cleaning out my liquor cabinets."
The blonde rolled on her side and idly fingered the charger chord. "I kept wondering... why I felt the way I do... and why I feel the way I do. How much of it was real, how much of it I believed was real and how much of it wasn't... if I could drink so much alcohol that it would reset everything to zero so I could figure that out..."
If Adam hadn't done what he did... "I kept wondering how many different definitions of love there are in the world and why I can't seem to find the right one for me."
Falcon took the opportunity to sit up in bed and pull his knees to his chest, folding his arms and resting his chin on the back of his hand as he listened. Jesus, these words could just as easily be coming out of his own mouth.
"Samus..."
He wanted to tell her how much he understood, how many times he'd asked himself these same questions and how many nights he'd spent in an drunken stupor and how when that happened, he'd needed it too.
"Don't think that this was your fault, okay? Or that there's something wrong with you. You didn't do anything wrong."
Falcon wished this conversation wasn't occurring over the phone, but there was little he could do about it now. "I mean, me. I've been dumped...over and over and over. I've done my fair share of dumping. The past two decades of my life have been one romantic catastrophe after another. You know how they say that everyone is supposed to have like...someone just for them. A soulmate or some shit like that? I convinced myself that mine just doesn't exist."
Still, he hoped that he'd eventually prove himself wrong. And he wasn't sure how he was supposed to be making Samus feel better by recounting his own relationship woes...but...
"I don't want you to feel like you have to be alone. Because...you're not." I want to be here for you and I want to tell you everything about me and I want to know everything about you, too. "I think you--"
He caught himself almost immediately, knowing that 'I think you did the right thing' coming from a guy who had been physically unable to listen to "Jessie's Girl" since graduation a few months ago would seem incredibly biased and probably very insensitive. The statement was quickly rephrased. "Do you think you did the right thing?"
Samus wasn't sure how his lifetime of unsuccessful partnerships was supposed to make her feel better but it did in a way, if only to feel fortunate and special enough to be someone to see another glimpse into his life and just hear his voice. It did make her feel special and... not alone.
"..."
Did she do the right thing? She had been thinking about it for an awfully long time. It had been bothering her for an awful long time until recent events finally slapped her in the face with a realization. Snake and her had a bond, she wouldn't deny that. It was some kind of love, just... not one she should keep trying to convince herself was right for her. Probably... not one Snake should either. Putting that into words was very difficult, especially when she was fighting the most wicked hangover from hell.
"...I think it's better this way." Samus exhaled... both metaphorically and physically. She was feeling much better already, saying just that one little sentence.
His own biased feelings aside, it probably was better this way. And he could tell she needed to say that. "Sometimes...sometimes things just don't work. No amount of pushing or pulling or forcing will make it work. And then it just hurts more in the long run."
Falcon felt like he knew that better than anyone. He wished he could take his own advice.
Telling her was one thing, but having her understand it and admit it to herself was another. He could tell by the sound of her exhaling over the phone that she'd made that first step--or was at least trying.
"Listen, if you need anything, just let me know, okay?"
Samus wished dearly this conversation didn't have to be on the phone. So much more could be conveyed through looks or glances over the quiet little "Mmn.." that came out over the phone. Or the hug she was sure she could use right about now. Not that she was going to admit that anytime soon.
A pillow and his voice would suffice for now.
I need you. I can't fly the WIG by myself. I need you... to keep talking to me. Just for a little bit.
"If you need anything you let me know." That went without saying. "What's Papa Falcon doing for tomorrow?"
Right. I was going to ask you if you wanted to come but then you broke up with Snake and got drunk and disappeared and now it's going to seem like a pity invite.
Damn it.
But he'd ask her anyway because he still wanted her to come and hopefully she wouldn't take it as a pity invite. It was an opportunity to get out and focus on other things. Yes. She'd know that, right?
"Actually, I was going to take Jeff and Ionia to the beach tomorrow, if you wanted to come. I was going to ask you but we just made the plans and you were...gone. Last night."
Oh yeah way to rub it in Falcon. Luckily for him she knew that. She wouldn't of asked otherwise because Samus Aran was not a person who took pity.
At all.
She still felt a little imposing regardless. It was supposed to be his day. "...That'd be nice, actually. If you don't mind the company. I told Jeff I'd go with him and Ulty to pick out a card for Father's day. We could do that real quick beforehand."
Samus rolled on her other side and brought the phone closer, whispering a little.
"You know, it's kind of awkward just a little considering the situation but it feels ...good to be able to support them. Even Ulty."
"I wouldn't have asked you to come if I thought you were imposing." He said, smiling and stretching out, sinking down into the pillows. "I want you to come because I think it'll be fun for all of us to go."
Together. Because that's what families do. And that's what they were. Some kind of weird, dysfunctional family that he wouldn't trade for the world.
He had a feeling he knew why she thought it was awkward, because honestly, Falcon thought it was pretty awkward too, but he was going to poke at it anyway, if only for his own amusement. "Awkward? What do you mean awkward?"
"Alright." Samus was sure she needed the rest of today to nurse the hangover [expected visits to the Gunship aside!] but tomorrow... yes. She could do with getting out of the dorm, with a fresh start.
"Be... cause." You know exactly why you jerk you just want to hear me say it.
"I never pictured myself a mother figure ever." True facts. She didn't. Even during that one time many years ago during her 5th or 6th mission...
He rolled over on his stomach and pulled a pillow closer to prop himself on it and continue talking into the phone. By this point it was very difficult to suppress a grin, even if she couldn't see it and would probably punch him if she could.
Falcon was about to counter that he'd never pictured himself to be a father figure, but he was sidetracked by the way she trailed off towards the end of her little argument.
Samus gave a little sigh. "Alright. Once upon a time I was given a mission to destroy a species. They were called Metroids. Floating... life-sucking space jellyfish that mutate very easily, basically. And so I did; all but one. The last Metroid."
She took the opportunity to roll on her back and go back to staring at that ceiling. Usually recalling this tale filled her with mixed emotions but telling it to Falcon felt kind of nice. Maybe because she... never really told anyone before. "When it hatched I was the first thing it saw soooo..."
Oh my god a floating life-sucking space jellyfish imprinted on Samus and thought she was its mommy that was kind of adorable. Kind of adorable in a floating life-sucking space jellyfish kind of way.
Talking to Samus always reminded him of how big the universe really was, and how there was so much he hadn't seen or even heard of. Of course, that may have had something to do with the fact that the blonde had apparently exterminated them.
Still, he found the whole thing rather amusing. "Did it follow you around and call you 'mommy' in floating life-sucking space jellyfish language?" He asked in a purposefully childish tone not really making the connection that everything Samus ever touched DIES.
Samus could hear his grin, she was wondering if he could hear her pout. "Yes." She said very dryly, "Yes it did." It also sacrificed itself twice over to save my life and it's DNA currently resides in my blood.
"It didn't want to hurt me and I couldn't bring myself to kill it despite the mission. It's technically followed me around for years and years ever since."
He could tell by her tone of voice that she did not find it half as amusing as he did, which meant that she was either still embarrassed about the whole event, or something had happened and the floating life-sucking space jellyfish was just...not around anymore.
Falcon was more willing to think the latter, considering Samus' history of fantastic space escapades that usually ended in the destruction of planets.
They way she said it "followed her for years and years" piqued his interest, mostly because that meant there was more to the story.
"Ever since the accident at BSL." Not that she expected Falcon to know about that, that was a story and a half. "A few years ago I had a run-in with a parasitic life-form simply referred to as the X. Nasty things; they infect and mimic their host's DNA and memories before consuming them entirely from the inside out. I got attacked as I was escorting a research team on planet SR388, the X's homeworld. They told me I had a minimal chance for survival." That was the closest she probably ever came to death, and Samus danced with death on a fairly regular basis during her missions.
"The Metroid hatchling that imprinted on me... sacrificed itself during another mission. But, had it not been for a vaccine made from it's cell culture... I would not be talking to you right now." Even if he couldn't see it she pointed towards her heart, "It's still inside me."
Despite the glum nature of the story she managed a smirk back at Falcon over the phone. "...That's why I had a hard time catching your cold when you were so very 'not sick' at the beginning of this year." If Samus ever did manage to catch something it would probably be one hell of a virus.
The more she talked, the more fascinated he became and the more he wanted to know. "The accident on BSL" sounded like a hell of a story and he wanted to hear it. Maybe not now, but he'd remember it to talk about some other day.
At the very least, it explained a bit more as to why Samus could very easily sling him over her shoulder and cart his ass around. Just how much alien DNA did she have floating around in her system? No wonder she was the catalyst for FOXALIVE.
It was just so terribly interesting.
He found himself remaining silent as she finished. How lame. The least he could have managed was a "tell me more". Samus' (quite literally) out-of-this-world escapades always managed to leave him at a loss for words, mostly because he felt completely outclassed.
...But he could relate to an accident, at a bare minimum. And the fact that she was telling him all this in the first place...it made a grim story seem not so horrible. "No wonder you never get sick."
"...I needed it." Samus answered finally. Talking about these sorts of things was especially hard for her. She and Snake never really did either until... things weren't working out. Even then, both of them seemed to keep a reserved distance when it came to personal feelings and personal history. Out of respect or... fear? Samus couldn't tell. There were many things left unsaid. A lot of stories not shared. All she could tell was that it wasn't working anymore.
"I didn't drink anything after I left your place that night... I didn't eat. I sat in the shower until the water ran cold, and then some. I moped. It was pathetic. I was pathetic." Samus quietly admitted.
"I got sick of it and spent all day Friday cleaning out my liquor cabinets."
The blonde rolled on her side and idly fingered the charger chord. "I kept wondering... why I felt the way I do... and why I feel the way I do. How much of it was real, how much of it I believed was real and how much of it wasn't... if I could drink so much alcohol that it would reset everything to zero so I could figure that out..."
If Adam hadn't done what he did... "I kept wondering how many different definitions of love there are in the world and why I can't seem to find the right one for me."
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"Samus..."
He wanted to tell her how much he understood, how many times he'd asked himself these same questions and how many nights he'd spent in an drunken stupor and how when that happened, he'd needed it too.
"Don't think that this was your fault, okay? Or that there's something wrong with you. You didn't do anything wrong."
Falcon wished this conversation wasn't occurring over the phone, but there was little he could do about it now. "I mean, me. I've been dumped...over and over and over. I've done my fair share of dumping. The past two decades of my life have been one romantic catastrophe after another. You know how they say that everyone is supposed to have like...someone just for them. A soulmate or some shit like that? I convinced myself that mine just doesn't exist."
Still, he hoped that he'd eventually prove himself wrong. And he wasn't sure how he was supposed to be making Samus feel better by recounting his own relationship woes...but...
"I don't want you to feel like you have to be alone. Because...you're not." I want to be here for you and I want to tell you everything about me and I want to know everything about you, too. "I think you--"
He caught himself almost immediately, knowing that 'I think you did the right thing' coming from a guy who had been physically unable to listen to "Jessie's Girl" since graduation a few months ago would seem incredibly biased and probably very insensitive. The statement was quickly rephrased. "Do you think you did the right thing?"
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Samus wasn't sure how his lifetime of unsuccessful partnerships was supposed to make her feel better but it did in a way, if only to feel fortunate and special enough to be someone to see another glimpse into his life and just hear his voice. It did make her feel special and... not alone.
"..."
Did she do the right thing? She had been thinking about it for an awfully long time. It had been bothering her for an awful long time until recent events finally slapped her in the face with a realization. Snake and her had a bond, she wouldn't deny that. It was some kind of love, just... not one she should keep trying to convince herself was right for her. Probably... not one Snake should either. Putting that into words was very difficult, especially when she was fighting the most wicked hangover from hell.
"...I think it's better this way." Samus exhaled... both metaphorically and physically. She was feeling much better already, saying just that one little sentence.
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Falcon felt like he knew that better than anyone. He wished he could take his own advice.
Telling her was one thing, but having her understand it and admit it to herself was another. He could tell by the sound of her exhaling over the phone that she'd made that first step--or was at least trying.
"Listen, if you need anything, just let me know, okay?"
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A pillow and his voice would suffice for now.
I need you. I can't fly the WIG by myself. I need you... to keep talking to me. Just for a little bit.
"If you need anything you let me know." That went without saying. "What's Papa Falcon doing for tomorrow?"
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Damn it.
But he'd ask her anyway because he still wanted her to come and hopefully she wouldn't take it as a pity invite. It was an opportunity to get out and focus on other things. Yes. She'd know that, right?
"Actually, I was going to take Jeff and Ionia to the beach tomorrow, if you wanted to come. I was going to ask you but we just made the plans and you were...gone. Last night."
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At all.
She still felt a little imposing regardless. It was supposed to be his day. "...That'd be nice, actually. If you don't mind the company. I told Jeff I'd go with him and Ulty to pick out a card for Father's day. We could do that real quick beforehand."
Samus rolled on her other side and brought the phone closer, whispering a little.
"You know, it's kind of awkward just a little considering the situation but it feels ...good to be able to support them. Even Ulty."
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Together. Because that's what families do. And that's what they were. Some kind of weird, dysfunctional family that he wouldn't trade for the world.
He had a feeling he knew why she thought it was awkward, because honestly, Falcon thought it was pretty awkward too, but he was going to poke at it anyway, if only for his own amusement. "Awkward? What do you mean awkward?"
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"Be... cause." You know exactly why you jerk you just want to hear me say it.
"I never pictured myself a mother figure ever." True facts. She didn't. Even during that one time many years ago during her 5th or 6th mission...
"Well... actually..."
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Falcon was about to counter that he'd never pictured himself to be a father figure, but he was sidetracked by the way she trailed off towards the end of her little argument.
"What do you mean, 'well actually'...?"
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Samus gave a little sigh. "Alright. Once upon a time I was given a mission to destroy a species. They were called Metroids. Floating... life-sucking space jellyfish that mutate very easily, basically. And so I did; all but one. The last Metroid."
She took the opportunity to roll on her back and go back to staring at that ceiling. Usually recalling this tale filled her with mixed emotions but telling it to Falcon felt kind of nice. Maybe because she... never really told anyone before. "When it hatched I was the first thing it saw soooo..."
Reply
Talking to Samus always reminded him of how big the universe really was, and how there was so much he hadn't seen or even heard of. Of course, that may have had something to do with the fact that the blonde had apparently exterminated them.
Still, he found the whole thing rather amusing. "Did it follow you around and call you 'mommy' in floating life-sucking space jellyfish language?" He asked in a purposefully childish tone not really making the connection that everything Samus ever touched DIES.
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"It didn't want to hurt me and I couldn't bring myself to kill it despite the mission. It's technically followed me around for years and years ever since."
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Falcon was more willing to think the latter, considering Samus' history of fantastic space escapades that usually ended in the destruction of planets.
They way she said it "followed her for years and years" piqued his interest, mostly because that meant there was more to the story.
"Tecnhically? What do you mean?"
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"The Metroid hatchling that imprinted on me... sacrificed itself during another mission. But, had it not been for a vaccine made from it's cell culture... I would not be talking to you right now." Even if he couldn't see it she pointed towards her heart, "It's still inside me."
Despite the glum nature of the story she managed a smirk back at Falcon over the phone. "...That's why I had a hard time catching your cold when you were so very 'not sick' at the beginning of this year." If Samus ever did manage to catch something it would probably be one hell of a virus.
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At the very least, it explained a bit more as to why Samus could very easily sling him over her shoulder and cart his ass around. Just how much alien DNA did she have floating around in her system? No wonder she was the catalyst for FOXALIVE.
It was just so terribly interesting.
He found himself remaining silent as she finished. How lame. The least he could have managed was a "tell me more". Samus' (quite literally) out-of-this-world escapades always managed to leave him at a loss for words, mostly because he felt completely outclassed.
...But he could relate to an accident, at a bare minimum. And the fact that she was telling him all this in the first place...it made a grim story seem not so horrible. "No wonder you never get sick."
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