I think I might maybe know what I might want...
OK- ive spent a lot of time thinking about my life and what i want being that i'm graduating soon (if i pass all my classes this semester) i think i've got it figured out, or at least a general direction that I want to head in. i want to make a difference. there are so many things in this world that are unfair and not right. I guess its real easy to let things slip into a bad condition, but oh so much harder to get it fixed. I'm going to capitalize on my twentysomething idealism that is raging through my blood right now. i'm going to make a difference. i dont know how though. thats the only thing. i dont really have any pinpointed how, but i know thats what i am here to do. and i know that i want to be with a man who will help me do it. i need someone who has the same values as me, and supports my life. I dont consider it a career, its a life. it may be antiquated and selfish, but i want a man who i can trust to support me and any children we might have while i do what it is i need to do. hyper-feminists would not agree with my depending financially on a man, but i dont think theres anything wrong with it. all i want is to know that i will be safe and fed, and the same thing for my children. i have more important things to worry about than money. i guess thats sort of hypocritical, but its what i got so far. i hope that going to mexico is the right thing to do though, i worry about it. i had a long conversation with my professor today about what i should do, because he's living the life that i sort of aspire to, and we agreed that i might be running away just to soothe my American guilt. i really could probably do more good by taking advantage of my American priveledge, but i think i have a bit of teenage sulking left in me. but being depressed about the state of things isnt gonna change anything. right?
-Sara
-Sara