Weekend Update
I'm having another one of my "Midnight crazies" which I'm terribly prone to. It's the whole insomnia/narcolepsy thing I have going on. But I figured I'd log in and check in about my life.
Largely, at least from my point of view, it's been calm compared to the past few months/years. At least I'm calmer. Part of that is from supplements. About a year ago, I talked with a few people I know about nootropics, so I tried a basic one out as an experience, and that really helped. That was the L-Theanine. Starting at Christmas, I started sending some to my mother for her vitamin regime, and generally she's mellowed out to. So, since then I've found a website, examine.com, and I've used it to think about and vet supplements for various things in my life. So far, the L-Theanine has been the biggest winner, without being vetted by the literature first. I've also tried out curcumin and fish oil (for inflammation), and ashwagandha (for stress response). I used to take fish oil ages ago, so I think I would continue taking that anyhow. Unfortunately, I haven't felt very different on the curcumin and ashwagandha, so I'll probably drop those --- see this is boring talk -- I feel boring being the old person talking about his supplements! I recently started taking rhodiola rosea for stress, and while I haven't felt *very* different stress-wise, I've started having vivid dreams regularly again since I started taking it, which I like. I used to have very vivid, creative dreams all the time. That stopped around the time of the whole Thailand debacle. I've taken it less than a month, but I'm at least a little excited about the prospect of getting back the way I was creatively. I'm going to see the allergist next month, so hopefully I can lower my inflammation a little that way.
Next weekend is important to me, and it's going to be quite busy. Friday night, there's a screening of Shortbus down in Lawrenceville, with a meet-n-greet with James Cameron Mitchell afterwards. I've gotten a group of friends together and interested in it. So, I really hope that goes well. I looked back through my journal for the first time I went to see Shortbus and I found it. Almost 10 years ago now. What a difference 10 years makes. I remember that being a particularly low point in my life, at least in terms of depression; I was two years into my first "marriage" which was showing the first signs of falling apart; I had bought my first house (for us), which I was way in over my head on; and I really didn't have any "friends", just people I knew. And here was this movie -- so much confronting loneliness and connection -- featuring this network of people, and I went to see it alone -- and I don't want to say it sparked the need for change in me -- but I really felt moved. So, this Friday, I'm going out with a core group of friends, or as good of friends as I have in this city, and I'm hoping to have a very good time. I'm trying not to put a whole lot of pressure on it, just let it happen. I'm really happy to be meeting the infamous JCM. I need to take something for him to sign!
Saturday Night is a viewing of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch", Mattachine Dance Party, and another VIP meet and greet with JCM, but this one's getting so much press, that I think it'll be much more crowded than the Shortbus viewing. And I'm okay with that. I don't have a specific LJ entry for it, but going to see the stage play of Hedwig really touched me and turned my life around at a very vulnerable point in my life. So much of the sound track cycle through my head. I must listen to it at least once a week, if not sometimes daily.
Sunday, Will and I are hosting Easter dinner. That'll be interesting to say the least. I haven't finalized a menu, but it'll be delicious, I'm sure. I'm thinking veggie heavy. The cheese sauce I made last year, which was in fact a bitch to reduce the cream, I'll repeat and put over something. And the reduced vermouth mushroom sauce I made was quite good, so I'll try that as well. I think I'll make gnudi. I don't think I'll do Easter Bread this year though; gluten free Easter bread is always too heavy. And I have to do something with the Sorrel growing in the garden -- it makes for a delicious tart treat -- but few people other than me like the tartness -- someone compared it to rhubarb?
My life is otherwise, go to work, plan the wedding, yoga on Wednesday, with the occasional panic from my family. I haven't been out with Sleeve in a little while -- he's done a lot of travelling for work -- and very stressed. Perhaps it's my own internalized neuroticism, but I keep imagining that he doesn't actually want me as a friend, and I've more or less seen the last of him. But whatever.
I've started projects for Chilean spring wine, as well as relaunched the garden. Other things will come together. Sometimes I figure the best thing I can do for other people is keep my own shit together -- and especially with what's been going on with my family, and some of my friends' families -- that feels more salient now than in the past.
Largely, at least from my point of view, it's been calm compared to the past few months/years. At least I'm calmer. Part of that is from supplements. About a year ago, I talked with a few people I know about nootropics, so I tried a basic one out as an experience, and that really helped. That was the L-Theanine. Starting at Christmas, I started sending some to my mother for her vitamin regime, and generally she's mellowed out to. So, since then I've found a website, examine.com, and I've used it to think about and vet supplements for various things in my life. So far, the L-Theanine has been the biggest winner, without being vetted by the literature first. I've also tried out curcumin and fish oil (for inflammation), and ashwagandha (for stress response). I used to take fish oil ages ago, so I think I would continue taking that anyhow. Unfortunately, I haven't felt very different on the curcumin and ashwagandha, so I'll probably drop those --- see this is boring talk -- I feel boring being the old person talking about his supplements! I recently started taking rhodiola rosea for stress, and while I haven't felt *very* different stress-wise, I've started having vivid dreams regularly again since I started taking it, which I like. I used to have very vivid, creative dreams all the time. That stopped around the time of the whole Thailand debacle. I've taken it less than a month, but I'm at least a little excited about the prospect of getting back the way I was creatively. I'm going to see the allergist next month, so hopefully I can lower my inflammation a little that way.
Next weekend is important to me, and it's going to be quite busy. Friday night, there's a screening of Shortbus down in Lawrenceville, with a meet-n-greet with James Cameron Mitchell afterwards. I've gotten a group of friends together and interested in it. So, I really hope that goes well. I looked back through my journal for the first time I went to see Shortbus and I found it. Almost 10 years ago now. What a difference 10 years makes. I remember that being a particularly low point in my life, at least in terms of depression; I was two years into my first "marriage" which was showing the first signs of falling apart; I had bought my first house (for us), which I was way in over my head on; and I really didn't have any "friends", just people I knew. And here was this movie -- so much confronting loneliness and connection -- featuring this network of people, and I went to see it alone -- and I don't want to say it sparked the need for change in me -- but I really felt moved. So, this Friday, I'm going out with a core group of friends, or as good of friends as I have in this city, and I'm hoping to have a very good time. I'm trying not to put a whole lot of pressure on it, just let it happen. I'm really happy to be meeting the infamous JCM. I need to take something for him to sign!
Saturday Night is a viewing of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch", Mattachine Dance Party, and another VIP meet and greet with JCM, but this one's getting so much press, that I think it'll be much more crowded than the Shortbus viewing. And I'm okay with that. I don't have a specific LJ entry for it, but going to see the stage play of Hedwig really touched me and turned my life around at a very vulnerable point in my life. So much of the sound track cycle through my head. I must listen to it at least once a week, if not sometimes daily.
Sunday, Will and I are hosting Easter dinner. That'll be interesting to say the least. I haven't finalized a menu, but it'll be delicious, I'm sure. I'm thinking veggie heavy. The cheese sauce I made last year, which was in fact a bitch to reduce the cream, I'll repeat and put over something. And the reduced vermouth mushroom sauce I made was quite good, so I'll try that as well. I think I'll make gnudi. I don't think I'll do Easter Bread this year though; gluten free Easter bread is always too heavy. And I have to do something with the Sorrel growing in the garden -- it makes for a delicious tart treat -- but few people other than me like the tartness -- someone compared it to rhubarb?
My life is otherwise, go to work, plan the wedding, yoga on Wednesday, with the occasional panic from my family. I haven't been out with Sleeve in a little while -- he's done a lot of travelling for work -- and very stressed. Perhaps it's my own internalized neuroticism, but I keep imagining that he doesn't actually want me as a friend, and I've more or less seen the last of him. But whatever.
I've started projects for Chilean spring wine, as well as relaunched the garden. Other things will come together. Sometimes I figure the best thing I can do for other people is keep my own shit together -- and especially with what's been going on with my family, and some of my friends' families -- that feels more salient now than in the past.