(no subject)
I'm hurting again today. I know I shouldn't just post when I'm hurt, but it's easier to process here. My brother is more like me than he knows... emotionally, we're strangely similar, although he's always been more, let's say "vocal" about it, and I've always hid my feelings as much as has been feasible.... This is where the Italian dynamic comes in, because I *don't* hide my feelings, and he practically shouts his. He's feeling insecure about his upcoming wedding. Well, who wouldn't, right? I have feelings of insecurity, too. He called me up on Monday to talk some, and here's the rub... those feelings are right smack dab in the same place that I have them. Ready. Aim. Fire. Too close to home. So, now that panic has me too. It's like certain neuroses are contagious. Now, I'm much more secure in my relationship than he is, and I'm under a whole lot less stress -- good job, good finances, not supporting a "wife" and two children.
In all honesty, I'm not always sure what I'm doing. Sometimes I think it would be better if I were on my own, I'm not sure I'm cut out for this "other people" thing.
Will and I have been in pre-marital therapy, and it's helped a lot. You wouldn't imagine how many people think it's odd or taboo to be in therapy before a wedding figuring things out and learning to communicate needs. I think it's odd people don't! You mean to tell me you honestly believe that the perfect dress is going to lead to a lifetime of marital bliss (provided the groom doesn't see it), but that therapy won't?!?
The talk with my brother has me feeling needlessly neurotic.
I need a full night's sleep.
And someone to talk to me while I'm at work. 5-10 sentences over the full day would definitely help. Right now it's discomfortingly quiet and lonely.
In all honesty, I'm not always sure what I'm doing. Sometimes I think it would be better if I were on my own, I'm not sure I'm cut out for this "other people" thing.
Will and I have been in pre-marital therapy, and it's helped a lot. You wouldn't imagine how many people think it's odd or taboo to be in therapy before a wedding figuring things out and learning to communicate needs. I think it's odd people don't! You mean to tell me you honestly believe that the perfect dress is going to lead to a lifetime of marital bliss (provided the groom doesn't see it), but that therapy won't?!?
The talk with my brother has me feeling needlessly neurotic.
I need a full night's sleep.
And someone to talk to me while I'm at work. 5-10 sentences over the full day would definitely help. Right now it's discomfortingly quiet and lonely.