Who sucked out the feeling?
"Look around, would it bring somebody down if I never made a sound again." Ugh, I feel terrible. Living at home while going to college has alienated me. All of my friends went to some other school or are living on-campus making new friends. My best friend, Joe, is living at home and going to OSU too, but we rarely see eachother, at school or outside of school, due to drastically different class schedules.
My girlfriend, who I've been dating off and on for nearly 2 years, is the virtually my only regular social contact and lately I've been having strange feelings as to what she's doing when I'm not around. She's constantly being called by guys who I've never heard of. As I mentioned in my previous post, she's been hanging out with some christians she refers to as "group." She says, "I'm going to group on thursday." Of course she knows I'm a devout atheist and wouldn't never want to attend one of these "ministries." This heightens my suspecion.
Now, I'm not the typical jealous boyfriend who gets angry if another guy even looks at my girlfriend. But lately, I've had reason to feel otherwise. The day before valetine's day Amanda went to a party with a friend. She had never been drunk before due to emotional baggage about her step dad beating her mom, and wanted to try it. I was working on friday, and didn't feel like going to a party after 6 hours of dealing with shit. Amanda has several beers she says, and gets to the point where she is "just about to pass out." She goes into the basement of this house to get another beer, and is followed by 2 guys. Now, when you're followed by 2 guys alone in a basement, what do you think is going to happen. Apparently, they pull her shirt up and fondle her tits and then start rubbing her cunt through her jeans. Amanda says she said "I have a boyfriend" several times, but they didn't stop. Soon, the friend she went with went into the basement for beer and apparently yelled at the guys for taking advantage of Amanda when she was drunk, and they stopped. This is story I heard from Amanda. I sometimes wonder if this is the truth. Maybe she was merely caught in the act?
So Valentine's day comes and I got her a pretty impressive present, and she doesn't tell me about what had happened the previous night. Maybe it was impressive enough to make her decide she didn't want to end our relationship, which is exactly what I don't want. Her deciding that what she did, or was about to do was wrong because of something I paid for. Then two days later, we're talking on the internet and having a funny conversation about some Midget dating show, when out of no where she decides she needs to call me, and that she doesn't know if I'll want to break up with her or not. She calls. She sobbing and tells me the whole story, except makes it sound like she was really taken advantage of badly. I'm not sure what I believe.
Since that, things have been okay. Our time spent together has been fun, but I can't get the feeling that things are going too well. She's being too agreeable. Then last week she started going to "group", like I mentioned earlier. I don't know what to make of it all.
My girlfriend, who I've been dating off and on for nearly 2 years, is the virtually my only regular social contact and lately I've been having strange feelings as to what she's doing when I'm not around. She's constantly being called by guys who I've never heard of. As I mentioned in my previous post, she's been hanging out with some christians she refers to as "group." She says, "I'm going to group on thursday." Of course she knows I'm a devout atheist and wouldn't never want to attend one of these "ministries." This heightens my suspecion.
Now, I'm not the typical jealous boyfriend who gets angry if another guy even looks at my girlfriend. But lately, I've had reason to feel otherwise. The day before valetine's day Amanda went to a party with a friend. She had never been drunk before due to emotional baggage about her step dad beating her mom, and wanted to try it. I was working on friday, and didn't feel like going to a party after 6 hours of dealing with shit. Amanda has several beers she says, and gets to the point where she is "just about to pass out." She goes into the basement of this house to get another beer, and is followed by 2 guys. Now, when you're followed by 2 guys alone in a basement, what do you think is going to happen. Apparently, they pull her shirt up and fondle her tits and then start rubbing her cunt through her jeans. Amanda says she said "I have a boyfriend" several times, but they didn't stop. Soon, the friend she went with went into the basement for beer and apparently yelled at the guys for taking advantage of Amanda when she was drunk, and they stopped. This is story I heard from Amanda. I sometimes wonder if this is the truth. Maybe she was merely caught in the act?
So Valentine's day comes and I got her a pretty impressive present, and she doesn't tell me about what had happened the previous night. Maybe it was impressive enough to make her decide she didn't want to end our relationship, which is exactly what I don't want. Her deciding that what she did, or was about to do was wrong because of something I paid for. Then two days later, we're talking on the internet and having a funny conversation about some Midget dating show, when out of no where she decides she needs to call me, and that she doesn't know if I'll want to break up with her or not. She calls. She sobbing and tells me the whole story, except makes it sound like she was really taken advantage of badly. I'm not sure what I believe.
Since that, things have been okay. Our time spent together has been fun, but I can't get the feeling that things are going too well. She's being too agreeable. Then last week she started going to "group", like I mentioned earlier. I don't know what to make of it all.