Voicemail
You have, whether intentionally or un-, dialed up the telephone of Rupert Psmith. If it were unintentional you may by all means hang up now, or you may (if such is your whim) choose to join those who have called intentionally in speaking after the tone and leaving your name and a brief message. I will not promise to return your call, but if the message is sufficiently interesting I shall entertain thoughts of doing so. If you are someone I know, calling intentionally, I suppose I am rather obliged to ring you back, but you still ought, for the sake of the world, to leave a sufficiently interesting message. The tone is coming up now. Are you ready? Here we go, darlings -