(no subject)
did i break his heart? will he still talk to me? can we still be friends?
i know that i led him on and it was an honest mistake. my intentions were good, but then i realized that i couldnt go there again. i dont want to be committed. it cant be held down, im fine alone. im fine with just careless flirting. having just casual things with boys. a date here or there. but im not ready for anything more. i just want to date around, to be myself, to worry about myself, to focus on a greater good...not focusing on whether or not he likes me or if im being a good girlfriend.
but then i wonder, will i continue down this same path, making a 180 when he starts to take the bait? or can i actaully for once put aside my old habits and make things right with the boys that i encounter in my life. im ashamed of myself. i have to change.
i know that i led him on and it was an honest mistake. my intentions were good, but then i realized that i couldnt go there again. i dont want to be committed. it cant be held down, im fine alone. im fine with just careless flirting. having just casual things with boys. a date here or there. but im not ready for anything more. i just want to date around, to be myself, to worry about myself, to focus on a greater good...not focusing on whether or not he likes me or if im being a good girlfriend.
but then i wonder, will i continue down this same path, making a 180 when he starts to take the bait? or can i actaully for once put aside my old habits and make things right with the boys that i encounter in my life. im ashamed of myself. i have to change.