Law and Order: SVU Gapfiller & Post-Undercover
Title: Spoken Out Loud
Author: Pearly-Eyes
Rating: Has contents unsuitable for children.
Disclaimer: Law and Order: SVU belongs to its respective owners.
Author’s Note & Synopsis: Gapfiller for the Episode "Undercover," so MAJOR SPOILERS for those who haven't seen it yet. Some minor changes made but mainly focuses on Olivia and Elliot's POV, with EO comfort at the end.
Spoken Out Loud
Olivia led out the breath that she was unconsciously holding. She could feel her heart bounding against her ribcage, surging adrenaline through her body, right down to her very core. Her skin alternated between hot and cold, before settling to a frigid chill when her eyes made contact with the prison CO in front of her.
“Who’s the bitch now?” she spit out defiantly. Her voice coarse from her previous screaming, still recovering from the choke hold that he had on her. She would not be intimidated as Fin cuffed him and read out the Miranda rights.
“What’s going on here?” More guards came down to Block C; the commotion penetrated through her self-induced daze. She flinched when one of the guards approached her, poised to lead her back to her cell before Fin intervened and explained the situation. She understood not a word being said, trusting her fellow colleague to take the lead. She simply allowed herself to be enveloped by the confusion, while remained conscious of all movement around her.
She winced at the bright lights of the medical bay. More questions were asked, the hecticness swirled around her. The prison was still under lockdown due to the TB scare. Again, she looked to Fin, mentally thanking Cragen for sending him undercover with her.
The female medical personnel came forward with a tuberculin needle and an alcohol swab. Olivia could only stare as the needle penetrated the dermis of her skin. Fin came next to her and spoke softly, “Liv?”
Her dark eyes met his, and she knew the unspoken question behind them. He had seen enough to imply the rest. “Don’t tell Elliot,” she replied.
He said nothing as she knew that he wouldn’t. Fin turned his attention briefly to the medical personnel who just finished with the injection on his arm. “How long are we under lockdown for?”
“At least three days till we get the results back.”
“We don’t have three days to sit and wait for you to clear us,” she burst out. She could virtually feel nerves working on overdrive, every fibre of her body bursting in anger, rage, hatred and fear. She cursed herself for the last one - she was a detective of the NYPD for crying out loud. She had a job to do.
“Liv, let me make some phone calls. If it’s a matter of being quarantined, then we can be isolated in some hospital ward room rather than here. You need to get check out first, don’t fight me on this one.”
She knew what he was getting at, so she simply nodded and asked, “Is he secured?”
It was an irrelevant question but she needed to hear the answer. “Yes.” One simple word, only three letters long and then, Fin left her alone to retrieve his cell phone.
With that knowledge in mind, the time became distorted for her. At some point, Fin came back to inform her that they were being transferred out of the correctional facility to the hospital. “The boss is going to meet us there.”
“And the others?” Again, as much as she enjoyed working with Munch and Lake, they both knew it was Elliot that she was referring to.
“We’re being quarantined at the hospital, so visitors are kept at a minimal. The boss is pulling rank on this one.”
“Thanks for watching my back, Fin.”
“That’s a given, Liv. No thanks is needed, you know that.”
“But, some things need to be spoken out loud, even between friends.”
“Then, you better be damn sure which ones they are.”
oOoOo
Her days in the hospital are neither long or short. There were no windows in her room, and she had limited contact with anyone. Those who came in were fully gowned and wore masks to cover their nose and mouth. It reminded Olivia vaguely of being in prison. She found no rest. Flashes of being in Block C were her constant companion. She couldn’t call them nightmares, nor were they dreams, because she wasn’t really sleeping.
Her thoughts often turned to her mother - how Serena must have felt ... knowing that she was going to be raped. Olivia herself, could not put the emotions into words. She could only discern her body reactions - how her heart would race, her breaths would become shallow, the region between her thighs would tingle and her legs would grow numb. She wanted to cry and scream; she would try to lash out, only to find herself restrain, before realizing that she was in a hospital bed and her arm was restricted by the IV tubing.
Cragen came as soon as he got the ok to talk to her. When her eyes met his, she realized that he must have gotten the statement from Fin first. “Don.”
“Olivia.”
“You talked to Fin.”
He nodded, “But, you know that I need an official statement from you too. Everything by the book ...”
She knew that he wanted to nail the perp was much as she did. So, she switched herself back to detective mode. Giving statements were only a small part of her job description. Details painted the full picture. She didn’t know that she alternated between referring herself as “Kat” and as the third person, unconsciously detaching herself from the situation. She didn’t know that she was clutching the thin hospital blanket so hard that her knuckles were ivory white. But her boss noticed, though he didn’t comment on them. He never once interrupted her, only letting her tell her story.
When she was done, she only said, “Like mother, like daughter, huh?”
“Olivia, you know that’s not true. This isn’t your fault. None of it is.”
“I’m not a victim, Don. Don’t give me that speech.” The instant the words were out of her mouth, she regretted it.
“No, you aren’t a victim, Liv, because you are a survivor. You are a damn good cop who is compassionate, hard-working, persistent ...”
“By persistent, you mean that as an euphemism for stubbornness.”
“That too. We all got your back, Liv and we all know that you are made out of some tough stuff.”
“But, you still want me to talk to Huang, right?”
“I’m not pulling you from this case. It’s still yours when the hospital releases you and Fin, but yes, talk to George.”
oOoOo
Before her three days of mandatory hospital isolation were up, Melinda stopped by. The first thing that the ME said was “When they say quarantine, they don’t bend the rules for anyone.”
“So how come you’re here?”
“Because of my irresistible charm.”
Olivia was grateful for the familiar presence. She had wondered about Elliot, even though, she was ambivalent about seeing him. She drew her attention back to Melinda as the ME continued, “I’m here as a medical official, and partly as a professional courtesy. I must say Cragen definitely pull some rank to see you. He wouldn’t let Elliot come, even though, he is your partner.”
“And Fin?”
“From what I understand, he has been hassling the staff about you. It was too bad that they couldn’t place the two of you in adjacent rooms or something, would have saved as a lot of headaches. They’re ready to ship him out as we speak.”
“What about me? I’m anxious to get out of here myself. I’m killing for a nice bubble bath and clothes that fit me.”
“I don’t blame you, so I came bearing gifts. Elliot couldn’t come because of the quarantine but he thought that you would appreciate having some of your own things. I’m going to let the doctors do their last set of assessments and when they give you the ok, you’re being discharged.”
As Melinda made her way out the door, Olivia said, “Thanks Melinda.”
“Hey no worries, just don’t make it a habit k.” And just before the ME made it out the door, she added, “Oh, I forgot to mention, Elliot is waiting outside to give you a ride home.”
Olivia couldn’t blame Melinda’s choice of words. Just don’t make it a habit. As illogical as it may sound, she sometimes wondered if the tendency to being rape was genetic. The Tylers ...her mother and her ...
She shook herself out of her present chain of thoughts, when she came to the realization that Elliot was waiting for her. She didn’t know if she had the energy for her partner right now. She was already anticipating the questions.
When she was released from the hospital, she found out that Melinda had left out the fact that the rest of the crew was there as well. Fin, Munch, and Lake were there to give her hugs, Lake even had a teddy bear handy. “Everybody should get at least a teddy bear after visiting the hospital.”
“Oh, did you get one for Fin as well?” she asked tongue-in-cheek.
Before either Fin or Lake could retort, Elliot intervened, “I’ll bet you anything that Liv really wants to get out of here and jump into a nice bubble bath.”
“Elliot...” She made the mistake of looking up at him. One should not underestimate the intensity of Elliot Stabler’s eyes, so she ducked her eyes and said, “I appreciate it guys and Lake, the teddy bear will have a special place on my dresser tonight.”
After goodbyes were made, Elliot drove her back to her place. No words were exchanged, the radio was kept at a low volume, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. There were moments when they would turn to each other, then the silence would become awkward.
When Elliot pulled to a stop in front of her building, he said, “You know you can tell me anything, Liv, whenever you’re ready.”
“I know that El. You don’t have to say it.”
“Some things need to be said, Liv.” Sometimes it shocked her how alike they were, as Elliot unconsciously repeated the same words that she had spoken to Fin earlier.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said softly.
“Yeah I know.”
oOoOo
She savoured the small luxuries of having privacy within the comforts of her own home. She had lit several aromatherapy candles as she indulged in her bath. Parts of her body still ached. She traced the prominent bruising on her lower jaw, surprised that Elliot hadn’t called her on it. When she got out of the tub to wrap a towel around herself, she traced some of less conspicuous tender spots her arms and wrists. It was as though, she was reacquainting with her body again.
When she returned the station the next day, she made an extra effort to talk to Huang before meeting with Cragen. The psychiatrist was obviously expecting her, as he motioned her to take a seat. From the beginning, she suspected that the meeting was superficial at best. The case was still open which meant that she felt obligated to finish it the job first. She was thankful when Huang let her go, but he said, “You’re a detective, Olivia, one of the very best, but don’t forget, that you are a woman as well. It’s okay to shift between priorities and still be great at your job.”
She nodded only so she could get out there and back to the case. She made a beeline to one of the interrogation rooms. Her boss was already there waiting. “You know you don’t have to do this, Liv.”
“You said you weren’t going to pull me off this case.”
“I’m not, but you don’t have to be one to interrogate him.”
She didn’t contradict him with words, but rather with her actions, as she boldly opened the door and stepped inside alone. She knew that Cragen was following her every move through the two-way mirror, but mentally, she detached her personal emotions and honed in on her professional responsibilities.
Her voice was crisp and cool. She used tactics that she had employed previously with other perps. Each statement was poignant and effective, her concentration never wavered. That was until his lawyer showed up and was released afterwards.
She felt indignant, jaded liked she was back at the correctional facility. She could still feel the impact of a baton on her back, the fondle of the CO through her orange jumpsuit, the taste of the metal table when she held down and cuffed. Most of all, she could see that seemingly innocuous bed in the darken C-Block. He was going to force her ...
She was startled when she heard Elliot’s voice and realized that this was the confrontation that she dreaded. “What happened back there, Liv?”
“Nothing, El.”
“Liv.”
“I’m fine. I talked to Huang.”
The words were out before she could retract them and she couldn’t amend her comments because the phone at her desk rang. If only it rang, five seconds earlier ...
“Detective Benson.” She could feel Elliot’s rapid breaths next to her ear. He had a habit of clenching his fists when he was angry and her suspicions were confirmed when she glanced at his left hand on her desk.
By the time she hang up, Elliot had somewhat composed himself. He made no arguments when she got up and announced that she was heading for the hospital. He also made no effort to come after her either.
oOoOo
Olivia found the hospital visit to emotionally draining. She was relieved that the younger Tyler was responding positively to medical treatments, but it was with some extra effort that Olivia reclaimed the trust that was once lost. Olivia knew that she had struck on something when she mentioned his penis.
During those moments, when she knew that he was going to rape her, all her instincts kicked in. She screamed for help, yelled for him to stop. She kicked and wiggled her limbs even though they were cuffed behind her back. When he made the crucial mistake of taking off the cuffs, she retaliated. Her full momentum went into every punch and every swipe. She fought back and took a grim satisfaction when she cut his left cheek and drew blood.
She never stopped when he struck her down with his baton and restrained her to the bar of the prison door and forced her down her knees. She wanted to vomit when he started to unbuckle his belt and pull down his pants. Oh yes, she would bite on him hard, even though he threatened to kill her for the very act. It was a matter of survival and she wasn’t going to go down without a fight.
Later Melinda asked her, “How did you know about that mole on his penis?”
She only managed to blurt out, “Because I saw it.”
The ME's very pupils dilated before she hurriedly asked, “Olivia, were you rape?”
Rape ... it was the first time that somebody had made the reference verbally. Fin and Cragen had only imply it without ever saying the word out loud. Somehow, she was relieved to hear the question. Perhaps, it was the validation that she needed because something did happen to her but it wasn’t rape. She had managed to arrest the bastard, with enough evidence to convict him and put him behind bars. “No, but it was close.”
“Have to talk to anyone? Elliot? Huang?”
“Yes, no, yes...”
“You can talk to me too Olivia. Any time, even it is for girl talk.”
oOoOo
“Yeah I know. I guess I just needed to hear it.”
She found him up on the roof. By some unspoken accord amongst those in the 1-6, it served as both a sanctuary and a battleground. She stood next to him and the proximity was enough that she could feel the hurt radiating from him.
“I didn’t tell Huang anything. We both knew that it was farce the moment that I stepped through his office. I had a job to do Elliot, because that bastard was still out there and back at his job. I knew what he was capable of and I had the power to bring him to justice.”
“You know I thought about my mother quite a bit these last couple of days, and I realize behind the alcohol, she really was a strong woman. These was some part of her that keep on fighting all these years.”
“Like mother, like daughter ...” She looked up, startled at her partner’s words.
“More alike than you think,” she murmured, “he tried to rape me, Elliot. That’s how I knew about that mole because he cuffed me to those prison bars and forced me down on the ground, until I was eye level with it. He forced me down, Elliot and there was nothing that I can do about it!”
Tears blinded her vision as her body shook with unrestrained sobs. She rarely ever led down her guard completely. But during this nine-year partnership, Olivia learned while there were some things that needed to be spoken aloud, others were simply understood. Elliot would never judge or belittle her, and he would always catch her, if and when she fell. So, for a brief moment, she surrendered her inhibitions and allowed herself to be enveloped and be comforted by the man before her.
End of Act I
AN: Be sure to read Act II: Elliot's POV
Author: Pearly-Eyes
Rating: Has contents unsuitable for children.
Disclaimer: Law and Order: SVU belongs to its respective owners.
Author’s Note & Synopsis: Gapfiller for the Episode "Undercover," so MAJOR SPOILERS for those who haven't seen it yet. Some minor changes made but mainly focuses on Olivia and Elliot's POV, with EO comfort at the end.
Spoken Out Loud
Olivia led out the breath that she was unconsciously holding. She could feel her heart bounding against her ribcage, surging adrenaline through her body, right down to her very core. Her skin alternated between hot and cold, before settling to a frigid chill when her eyes made contact with the prison CO in front of her.
“Who’s the bitch now?” she spit out defiantly. Her voice coarse from her previous screaming, still recovering from the choke hold that he had on her. She would not be intimidated as Fin cuffed him and read out the Miranda rights.
“What’s going on here?” More guards came down to Block C; the commotion penetrated through her self-induced daze. She flinched when one of the guards approached her, poised to lead her back to her cell before Fin intervened and explained the situation. She understood not a word being said, trusting her fellow colleague to take the lead. She simply allowed herself to be enveloped by the confusion, while remained conscious of all movement around her.
She winced at the bright lights of the medical bay. More questions were asked, the hecticness swirled around her. The prison was still under lockdown due to the TB scare. Again, she looked to Fin, mentally thanking Cragen for sending him undercover with her.
The female medical personnel came forward with a tuberculin needle and an alcohol swab. Olivia could only stare as the needle penetrated the dermis of her skin. Fin came next to her and spoke softly, “Liv?”
Her dark eyes met his, and she knew the unspoken question behind them. He had seen enough to imply the rest. “Don’t tell Elliot,” she replied.
He said nothing as she knew that he wouldn’t. Fin turned his attention briefly to the medical personnel who just finished with the injection on his arm. “How long are we under lockdown for?”
“At least three days till we get the results back.”
“We don’t have three days to sit and wait for you to clear us,” she burst out. She could virtually feel nerves working on overdrive, every fibre of her body bursting in anger, rage, hatred and fear. She cursed herself for the last one - she was a detective of the NYPD for crying out loud. She had a job to do.
“Liv, let me make some phone calls. If it’s a matter of being quarantined, then we can be isolated in some hospital ward room rather than here. You need to get check out first, don’t fight me on this one.”
She knew what he was getting at, so she simply nodded and asked, “Is he secured?”
It was an irrelevant question but she needed to hear the answer. “Yes.” One simple word, only three letters long and then, Fin left her alone to retrieve his cell phone.
With that knowledge in mind, the time became distorted for her. At some point, Fin came back to inform her that they were being transferred out of the correctional facility to the hospital. “The boss is going to meet us there.”
“And the others?” Again, as much as she enjoyed working with Munch and Lake, they both knew it was Elliot that she was referring to.
“We’re being quarantined at the hospital, so visitors are kept at a minimal. The boss is pulling rank on this one.”
“Thanks for watching my back, Fin.”
“That’s a given, Liv. No thanks is needed, you know that.”
“But, some things need to be spoken out loud, even between friends.”
“Then, you better be damn sure which ones they are.”
oOoOo
Her days in the hospital are neither long or short. There were no windows in her room, and she had limited contact with anyone. Those who came in were fully gowned and wore masks to cover their nose and mouth. It reminded Olivia vaguely of being in prison. She found no rest. Flashes of being in Block C were her constant companion. She couldn’t call them nightmares, nor were they dreams, because she wasn’t really sleeping.
Her thoughts often turned to her mother - how Serena must have felt ... knowing that she was going to be raped. Olivia herself, could not put the emotions into words. She could only discern her body reactions - how her heart would race, her breaths would become shallow, the region between her thighs would tingle and her legs would grow numb. She wanted to cry and scream; she would try to lash out, only to find herself restrain, before realizing that she was in a hospital bed and her arm was restricted by the IV tubing.
Cragen came as soon as he got the ok to talk to her. When her eyes met his, she realized that he must have gotten the statement from Fin first. “Don.”
“Olivia.”
“You talked to Fin.”
He nodded, “But, you know that I need an official statement from you too. Everything by the book ...”
She knew that he wanted to nail the perp was much as she did. So, she switched herself back to detective mode. Giving statements were only a small part of her job description. Details painted the full picture. She didn’t know that she alternated between referring herself as “Kat” and as the third person, unconsciously detaching herself from the situation. She didn’t know that she was clutching the thin hospital blanket so hard that her knuckles were ivory white. But her boss noticed, though he didn’t comment on them. He never once interrupted her, only letting her tell her story.
When she was done, she only said, “Like mother, like daughter, huh?”
“Olivia, you know that’s not true. This isn’t your fault. None of it is.”
“I’m not a victim, Don. Don’t give me that speech.” The instant the words were out of her mouth, she regretted it.
“No, you aren’t a victim, Liv, because you are a survivor. You are a damn good cop who is compassionate, hard-working, persistent ...”
“By persistent, you mean that as an euphemism for stubbornness.”
“That too. We all got your back, Liv and we all know that you are made out of some tough stuff.”
“But, you still want me to talk to Huang, right?”
“I’m not pulling you from this case. It’s still yours when the hospital releases you and Fin, but yes, talk to George.”
oOoOo
Before her three days of mandatory hospital isolation were up, Melinda stopped by. The first thing that the ME said was “When they say quarantine, they don’t bend the rules for anyone.”
“So how come you’re here?”
“Because of my irresistible charm.”
Olivia was grateful for the familiar presence. She had wondered about Elliot, even though, she was ambivalent about seeing him. She drew her attention back to Melinda as the ME continued, “I’m here as a medical official, and partly as a professional courtesy. I must say Cragen definitely pull some rank to see you. He wouldn’t let Elliot come, even though, he is your partner.”
“And Fin?”
“From what I understand, he has been hassling the staff about you. It was too bad that they couldn’t place the two of you in adjacent rooms or something, would have saved as a lot of headaches. They’re ready to ship him out as we speak.”
“What about me? I’m anxious to get out of here myself. I’m killing for a nice bubble bath and clothes that fit me.”
“I don’t blame you, so I came bearing gifts. Elliot couldn’t come because of the quarantine but he thought that you would appreciate having some of your own things. I’m going to let the doctors do their last set of assessments and when they give you the ok, you’re being discharged.”
As Melinda made her way out the door, Olivia said, “Thanks Melinda.”
“Hey no worries, just don’t make it a habit k.” And just before the ME made it out the door, she added, “Oh, I forgot to mention, Elliot is waiting outside to give you a ride home.”
Olivia couldn’t blame Melinda’s choice of words. Just don’t make it a habit. As illogical as it may sound, she sometimes wondered if the tendency to being rape was genetic. The Tylers ...her mother and her ...
She shook herself out of her present chain of thoughts, when she came to the realization that Elliot was waiting for her. She didn’t know if she had the energy for her partner right now. She was already anticipating the questions.
When she was released from the hospital, she found out that Melinda had left out the fact that the rest of the crew was there as well. Fin, Munch, and Lake were there to give her hugs, Lake even had a teddy bear handy. “Everybody should get at least a teddy bear after visiting the hospital.”
“Oh, did you get one for Fin as well?” she asked tongue-in-cheek.
Before either Fin or Lake could retort, Elliot intervened, “I’ll bet you anything that Liv really wants to get out of here and jump into a nice bubble bath.”
“Elliot...” She made the mistake of looking up at him. One should not underestimate the intensity of Elliot Stabler’s eyes, so she ducked her eyes and said, “I appreciate it guys and Lake, the teddy bear will have a special place on my dresser tonight.”
After goodbyes were made, Elliot drove her back to her place. No words were exchanged, the radio was kept at a low volume, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. There were moments when they would turn to each other, then the silence would become awkward.
When Elliot pulled to a stop in front of her building, he said, “You know you can tell me anything, Liv, whenever you’re ready.”
“I know that El. You don’t have to say it.”
“Some things need to be said, Liv.” Sometimes it shocked her how alike they were, as Elliot unconsciously repeated the same words that she had spoken to Fin earlier.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said softly.
“Yeah I know.”
oOoOo
She savoured the small luxuries of having privacy within the comforts of her own home. She had lit several aromatherapy candles as she indulged in her bath. Parts of her body still ached. She traced the prominent bruising on her lower jaw, surprised that Elliot hadn’t called her on it. When she got out of the tub to wrap a towel around herself, she traced some of less conspicuous tender spots her arms and wrists. It was as though, she was reacquainting with her body again.
When she returned the station the next day, she made an extra effort to talk to Huang before meeting with Cragen. The psychiatrist was obviously expecting her, as he motioned her to take a seat. From the beginning, she suspected that the meeting was superficial at best. The case was still open which meant that she felt obligated to finish it the job first. She was thankful when Huang let her go, but he said, “You’re a detective, Olivia, one of the very best, but don’t forget, that you are a woman as well. It’s okay to shift between priorities and still be great at your job.”
She nodded only so she could get out there and back to the case. She made a beeline to one of the interrogation rooms. Her boss was already there waiting. “You know you don’t have to do this, Liv.”
“You said you weren’t going to pull me off this case.”
“I’m not, but you don’t have to be one to interrogate him.”
She didn’t contradict him with words, but rather with her actions, as she boldly opened the door and stepped inside alone. She knew that Cragen was following her every move through the two-way mirror, but mentally, she detached her personal emotions and honed in on her professional responsibilities.
Her voice was crisp and cool. She used tactics that she had employed previously with other perps. Each statement was poignant and effective, her concentration never wavered. That was until his lawyer showed up and was released afterwards.
She felt indignant, jaded liked she was back at the correctional facility. She could still feel the impact of a baton on her back, the fondle of the CO through her orange jumpsuit, the taste of the metal table when she held down and cuffed. Most of all, she could see that seemingly innocuous bed in the darken C-Block. He was going to force her ...
She was startled when she heard Elliot’s voice and realized that this was the confrontation that she dreaded. “What happened back there, Liv?”
“Nothing, El.”
“Liv.”
“I’m fine. I talked to Huang.”
The words were out before she could retract them and she couldn’t amend her comments because the phone at her desk rang. If only it rang, five seconds earlier ...
“Detective Benson.” She could feel Elliot’s rapid breaths next to her ear. He had a habit of clenching his fists when he was angry and her suspicions were confirmed when she glanced at his left hand on her desk.
By the time she hang up, Elliot had somewhat composed himself. He made no arguments when she got up and announced that she was heading for the hospital. He also made no effort to come after her either.
oOoOo
Olivia found the hospital visit to emotionally draining. She was relieved that the younger Tyler was responding positively to medical treatments, but it was with some extra effort that Olivia reclaimed the trust that was once lost. Olivia knew that she had struck on something when she mentioned his penis.
During those moments, when she knew that he was going to rape her, all her instincts kicked in. She screamed for help, yelled for him to stop. She kicked and wiggled her limbs even though they were cuffed behind her back. When he made the crucial mistake of taking off the cuffs, she retaliated. Her full momentum went into every punch and every swipe. She fought back and took a grim satisfaction when she cut his left cheek and drew blood.
She never stopped when he struck her down with his baton and restrained her to the bar of the prison door and forced her down her knees. She wanted to vomit when he started to unbuckle his belt and pull down his pants. Oh yes, she would bite on him hard, even though he threatened to kill her for the very act. It was a matter of survival and she wasn’t going to go down without a fight.
Later Melinda asked her, “How did you know about that mole on his penis?”
She only managed to blurt out, “Because I saw it.”
The ME's very pupils dilated before she hurriedly asked, “Olivia, were you rape?”
Rape ... it was the first time that somebody had made the reference verbally. Fin and Cragen had only imply it without ever saying the word out loud. Somehow, she was relieved to hear the question. Perhaps, it was the validation that she needed because something did happen to her but it wasn’t rape. She had managed to arrest the bastard, with enough evidence to convict him and put him behind bars. “No, but it was close.”
“Have to talk to anyone? Elliot? Huang?”
“Yes, no, yes...”
“You can talk to me too Olivia. Any time, even it is for girl talk.”
oOoOo
“Yeah I know. I guess I just needed to hear it.”
She found him up on the roof. By some unspoken accord amongst those in the 1-6, it served as both a sanctuary and a battleground. She stood next to him and the proximity was enough that she could feel the hurt radiating from him.
“I didn’t tell Huang anything. We both knew that it was farce the moment that I stepped through his office. I had a job to do Elliot, because that bastard was still out there and back at his job. I knew what he was capable of and I had the power to bring him to justice.”
“You know I thought about my mother quite a bit these last couple of days, and I realize behind the alcohol, she really was a strong woman. These was some part of her that keep on fighting all these years.”
“Like mother, like daughter ...” She looked up, startled at her partner’s words.
“More alike than you think,” she murmured, “he tried to rape me, Elliot. That’s how I knew about that mole because he cuffed me to those prison bars and forced me down on the ground, until I was eye level with it. He forced me down, Elliot and there was nothing that I can do about it!”
Tears blinded her vision as her body shook with unrestrained sobs. She rarely ever led down her guard completely. But during this nine-year partnership, Olivia learned while there were some things that needed to be spoken aloud, others were simply understood. Elliot would never judge or belittle her, and he would always catch her, if and when she fell. So, for a brief moment, she surrendered her inhibitions and allowed herself to be enveloped and be comforted by the man before her.
End of Act I
AN: Be sure to read Act II: Elliot's POV